Magpie_x Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 So you and your ex have a little argument, you've both had a lot on but love eachother more than anything. When you suggest a break out of anger so he can digest how your feeling he just gets up and leaves, as in, goes straight into no contact. After a few days you try and clear the air as you've had time to think but the reply you get is " ****ing GET OVER US and do one! don't ever speak to me again" and you never hear from him then on, he deletes and blocks you off everything, tells you to keep his stuff or bin it and to never speak to him again. I had sent a letter to explain what had happend as so to speak i broke down because i didn't feel he was there for me at all ( this was just prior to me saying "should we go on a break") we've both been through a lot the last couple of months and i felt that he was making out we needed some time to cool off to ourselves, but clearly this wasn't the case from how he's left things now. The thing that gets me, is we have always been there and i'd spent the last 3/4 months spending every waking second supporting him, turning up to surprise him so he wasn't alone in a dark time in his life, he said i was the only one who bothered to help him and how i'd been his rock and if it wasn't for me being there for him he doesn't know where he'd have been. Our love for eachother was on another level, but then something happend in my life, sometimes i just wanted a cuddle, a chat ( as i bottle things up as i dont want people to worry) but he just seemed to distance himself away from me, when i finally expressed my feelings to him and how we could help eachother that was it :'( i've give up trying to contact him now as he's even got his mother to block me ( find it pathetic lol ) but i havn't had closure, it wasn't meant to be a break up, i just wanted us to be honest, and well his love for me, well what i thought he felt for me was just amazing, he worshiped me, always did everything, we honestly used to laugh and have endless talks all night about how we're "soul mates" i honestly knew we had this bond with eachother and he knew it too This is just why it's hurting that he's just completely wiped me off the face of the earth, i feel a hole in my heart, i'm dealing with so much right now that someone my age shouldn't and i miss my soul mate :'( it's just a side of him i've never ever seen. Do you think he'll ever feel guilty for atleast not talking about the situation with me? if he didn't want to be with me then fine but i atleast wanted us to talk about things before so we both could move on. It makes me feel sick as i worry about him too much So do you ever get closure? :'( sorry this is sooo long, i've been bottling this up for 3 weeks+ Appreciate any input xx 1
Eddie Edirol Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I doubt he feels any guilt. I think he feels anger towards you. I think he's ben angry with you, or just wanting to be alone for a while, and you gave him an out. Thats the only way someone could cut you off without wanting to talk. if he didnt want to talk to you about feelings and the situation, this was the way to do it. Your closure will come from you, not him, thats the only place you will get it. 1
supaflyz Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 It is about to rain here. My dreaded feelings are back. I understand what you are going through. The answer to your question is NO... Sometimes the dumpee don't get the closure they deserve. Closure helps the dumpee move on easier I believe. What he did was totally immature. I like you suggested a break with my ex when we were in an argument. I was just so mad. There were words that came out that I shouldn't of said, but that is normal. He proceeded to block you and didn't let you explain which is stupid. I suggest you go no contact. It also suck that you was there to support him while he didn't do the same. I also supported my ex through her tough times, but I was left high and dry. Things will get better my dear. There are some good and bad days. The bad days will hit you like a hurricane. 1
Author Magpie_x Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 It is about to rain here. My dreaded feelings are back. I understand what you are going through. The answer to your question is NO... Sometimes the dumpee don't get the closure they deserve. Closure helps the dumpee move on easier I believe. What he did was totally immature. I like you suggested a break with my ex when we were in an argument. I was just so mad. There were words that came out that I shouldn't of said, but that is normal. He proceeded to block you and didn't let you explain which is stupid. I suggest you go no contact. It also suck that you was there to support him while he didn't do the same. I also supported my ex through her tough times, but I was left high and dry. Things will get better my dear. There are some good and bad days. The bad days will hit you like a hurricane. i mean what hurts also is how he always said he'd do anything for me, then when i needed him it was as if he didn't care and so i bottled up more because i was scared my problems were bringing back his problems and i was scared of hurting him, but i felt he let me down when i REALLY needed him, which was the day i broke down after a trip to the hospital that ended with very bad news for me, he never let me explain, he always told me we needed to be honest with eachother at all times, so when i was it's as if he blew up. I can't help but feel guilt, even his best friend said the day before to me that i needed to stop worrying about him 24/7 and to focus on myself and how i needed support for a change, i love this guy with all of my heart and it's as if i've gone and ruined his life, he could have atleast listened to me :'( It's the worst pain ever knowing what we've both been through, it's made my insomnia shoot sky high which is a problem i've been dealing with for nearly 4 months and partly some of the insomnia an anxiety is still caused by the issues i was supporting him in dealing with. I can't eat, sleep, major depression, recently lost a family member, i have a major operation coming up soon, and i'm so lonely because i can't help but think it was my fault. Honestly you couldn't get 2 people more in love and as close as we were, none of my family and friends can understand whats happend and it's actually made me embarrassed. It's just awful and i sympathize with anybody who has been or is going through this :'( xx 1
supaflyz Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I know why you are mad. The empty promises.....
Author Magpie_x Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 yep I am at a point now where as much as i'd have loved him to finally contact me and discuss this, i just don't care now! i am so hurt and if this is how he wants to act after everything we've been through then i don't ever want him to come crawling back. He's made me feel like the biggest fool in the world for trusting him and i believe deeply in karma. It was more of a case of wondering whether he'd ever feel guilty for this especially after it's been well timed when i need someone most and he knew that but hey ho i guess .....
Author Magpie_x Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 plus it doesn't help that i've also had the ex before him who broke my heart, get intouch to ask a favour ( which was asking too much ) and then proceed to tell me how i've "****ed his life up" because i refuse to help, but he always threw all my help for 4 years back in my face and in the end left me to suffer, so it's been a tough week this week having him guilt trip me... I don't know, clearly i pick the wrong men ha
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