dizi Posted November 6, 2004 Posted November 6, 2004 Ok, I've talked about this on other posts, but I really need to vent! !! Brief history: My fiance and I moved in with his parents from out of state to get back on our feet. A month after we got here I found out I was pregnant (not a part of my plans-hitting my head). I sleep in the basement and he sleeps on the 3rd floor. I thought she understood the FIRST time that it wasn't appropriate, but she didn't-his ex wife brings his kiddo 100 miles to stay here and then ends up spending the night! She could just meet us. The last time she did it, it was 5 days! This time will only be until Sunday morning, but still! She's a nice gal, but it's his EX WIFE. She sleeps in the room across from him. Nice, huh? She INVITED herself over - no one asked her to stay. She just said what her plans were when she got here, and no one wants to hurt her feelings by saying anything. My fiance thinks that she has put him on some sort of "probation" - she doesn't want us to take their son to our church, so she'll be here to stop him. But, this is HIS time to have him! His mom LOVES her. I don't think she wants him back or anything, and I don't find her threatening, but I don't feel comfortable with this situation. I really don't enjoy waking up to see her walking in the halls or sitting in the kitchen. And hanging out all day. My fiance says he will call her on Monday to talk about it, but he wusses out when it comes to her. I've expressed my feelings to his mom before that neither he nor I find it appropriate, and she just said that "she's weird", and doesn't want to be left out of the family. SHE left HIM. You kind of divorce the family when you leave, don't you?? It's okay to stay in touch and visit, but to move in for the weekend?? Ugh. Any ideas on coping? I feel so stuck. I wish we could afford to move out, but can't right now. This isn't my house, so I don't have any room to complain!! Has anyone been in a situation like this? - somehow I doubt it-most people are NORMAL!! I would love any advice, guys!! You all RAWK me! Help!
supermom Posted November 6, 2004 Posted November 6, 2004 Talk to her woman to woman. Maybe explain to her how you feel. You think she's a nice gal and would like to be on friendly terms, but it's just too uncomfortable. I don't blame you for feeling that way, but you should talk to her alone about it. Maybe she'll understand right away, maybe not, but at least you can talk to her yourself. Good Luck
Author dizi Posted November 14, 2004 Author Posted November 14, 2004 Hi~ Thank you for your reply! My fiance talked with her today. I just didn't have it in me. Wuss...He told her not to spend the night here anymore. Apparently it was the church thing. As far as I know, she won't be anymore! Yae! but we'll see.... Thanks again, supermom!
missopinionated Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 I'm sorry, I read your post really quickly, so I must have missed the part where you somehow come from a country where there is no information on, or access to birth control information and I also must have missed the part where you're chained in the basement of your so-called boyfriend's house.... Sad state of affairs... What advice do you want? Do you want someone to come over there and straighten him out? Oh wait! Couldn't you do that? Take yourself and your child and leave. He could spend the time making up a poster that reads "You're not that important to me", but I don't think he really cares that much. Or you could stay there. They might forget that you're in the basement and you could just live in peace, or they might give you something to do, to go along with the role you're now playing: "The Maid". Get a backbone -- you're child is going to need the support -- and MOVE OUT! If he treats you like crap now, do you think having more responsibility and less sleep and sex (with you, anyway) is going to help things improve?
DayumQuitPlayin Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 Originally posted by missopinionated I'm sorry, I read your post really quickly, so I must have missed the part where you somehow come from a country where there is no information on, or access to birth control information and I also must have missed the part where you're chained in the basement of your so-called boyfriend's house.... Sad state of affairs... What advice do you want? Do you want someone to come over there and straighten him out? Oh wait! Couldn't you do that? Take yourself and your child and leave. He could spend the time making up a poster that reads "You're not that important to me", but I don't think he really cares that much. Or you could stay there. They might forget that you're in the basement and you could just live in peace, or they might give you something to do, to go along with the role you're now playing: "The Maid". Get a backbone -- you're child is going to need the support -- and MOVE OUT! If he treats you like crap now, do you think having more responsibility and less sleep and sex (with you, anyway) is going to help things improve? Wow, that's harsh. Umm.. I think you're missing the point. "treats you like crap" ..I don't believe I've read anything in her post to insinuate that he's treating her like crap. She just said that he talked with her.. so hopefully things will work. Anyways.. Good Lucc Thread Starter
Author dizi Posted November 22, 2004 Author Posted November 22, 2004 Aye, DayumQuitPlayin seems to have understood clearly! Thanks for your kindness-everything is working out fine now, thank you! Missopinionated...thank you SO MUCH for your support!!! Apparently you DID miss the part that I'm financially unable to leave at this time. But that's okay, I'm sure you'll make PLENTY of friends here....
Recommended Posts