jehcann Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 (we're both almost 23 years old. ) im sure you can read through my other post on here and see what's happened between my ex and i. long story short he left me on may 12th to be with his ex. we did not talk again until july 16th(2 months 4 days nc) and i basically blew him off. July 19th he came and seen me out of the blue. everything was amazing it was back to how it use to be. BUT when the weekend was over he went back home and tried to go back to his ex. she wouldnt take him back and he was confused on what he wanted and decided to stay single. we didnt talk again until 3 weeks nc) August 11th. he told me he missed and i said it back. we ended up having a 3 hour skype video chat. he called out of work and we spent sunday night and monday night together. im giving him a chance to get us back together. he thanked me for the chance. he knows that he has me wrapped around his finger, he knows that i am head over heels in love with him and it scares me. i would do anything to be with this man and he knows it. i dont want him to think that he can have me so easily, i want him to work for us and i want him to prove to me that he wants us and that he's not leaving me again. but idk how. he came back to me and i want to keep him forever. how do i make sure i keep him forever? i cant handle him breaking my heart again, i cant. i use to be afraid to live without him but im not anymore. i know i can do it and i will do it if he doesnt make a change for me. but i feel like he knows ill take his **** so he feels like he doesnt have to work to keep me because im so head over heels in love with him. how do i change this? how do i go about making him realize that he has to change to keep me. he has to prove that this means as much to him as it does to me. but i dont want to tell him these things. i want him to do them on his own. i told him that ive went through hell and back for us these past 14 months and im NOT doing it again. i told him that i want to be with him so badly but im not going to cry over him and us anymore everyday. i am done crying. i told him he has to prove to me he wants this and he's not going to leave. i cant make you be the man i need you to be for me and us. (i wrote him a goodbye letter and gave it to him) i said figure out what you want and read my goodbye letter. if you want this to be goodbye let me know. i want to end it right this time. because this is the the last time i ever go down this road with you. WE are in your hands. if we make or break its on you. i hope you make the best decision for you. thats what i sent to him. what steps do i take to make him realize that i mean business? that im not sitting around waiting for him to change and be the man that i need? what steps do i take to keep him in my life forever? i thought maybe ignoring him for a few days? idk but i dont want him to think that i dont want this because i do. im a GREAT catch and i dont deserve to be treated the way that i am, i want to be happy and as much as it hurts ill walk away if he doesnt change. but i want him to. i know i cant make him but im sure someone has some tips on what i can do to make him realize im not the girl i use to be im not putting up with that ****. im not the arguing or bitching type usually if we get into a fight whether its his fault or mine i make it right. ive always been the one to make us right. i want him to make us right. basically ive screwed myself into always letting **** slide bc my love for him. that's not something ive shouldve done and i realize it now. i know that i cant keep him if he doesnt want me. i know this now. i know i probably dont make sense bc idek what im trying to say. i know i cant change him and i cant make him be what i want him to be. but im sure i can take control of something and make him realize damn she's not playing if i dont change ill lose her forever thats what i want to happen. when you met THE GUY you know it and i know he's that guy for me. i cant explain it but i know he loves me. please help if you have any advice. sorry for the typos/not making sense im a complete and total mess. i just want my baby back and i want to have my happy ending i know i have with him.
Balzac Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 i would do anything to be with this man and he knows it Pretty much the most substantive statement. That's a brain problem having nothing to do with him. Have you tried individual counseling?
Author jehcann Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 no we havent but i know if we're gonna make this work we're probably going to have to get some counseling. the statement i would do anything to be with him is true but im not going to let him walk all over me bc he loves me. i know what i deserve now and im not going to settle for less. if i have to walk away i will.
Balzac Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 no we havent but i know if we're gonna make this work we're probably going to have to get some counseling. the statement i would do anything to be with him is true but im not going to let him walk all over me bc he loves me. i know what i deserve now and im not going to settle for less. if i have to walk away i will. but im sure i can take control of something and make him realize damn she's not playing if i dont change ill lose her forever thats what i want to happen Your statements don't add up. You're enhibiting flawed thinking.
Author jehcann Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 but im sure i can take control of something and make him realize damn she's not playing if i dont change ill lose her forever thats what i want to happen Your statements don't add up. You're enhibiting flawed thinking. im all over the place i know this, i know i dont make sense. but i know we have something special and i know he knows it too. in the past ive been the one to save us and fix us & i cant save us anymore. he has to save us. idk what im suppose to do to allow him to save us or even make him see that he has to be the one to save us. & im not sure what "You're enhibiting flawed thinking." means lol
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