123sara Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I am a 28 year old female professional. I am successful. I am slim and athletic -- I work out religiously. But somehow men don’t perceive me in a sexual way. I have gone on a few dates and even though we had nice conversations I never had the feeling that the men “lusted” after me. If I am in a bar men pay more attention to others, even though I think I am not less attractive (I think). Of course, I cannot change who I am. I will always be somewhat serious and reserved. But, I would be grateful for any concrete ideas to help me to get noticed as sexual being, or to create a sexual atmosphere around me. Thank you
pteromom Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 - dress in a way that accentuates your assets. Not slutty - but fitted clothing in flattering colors. - smile like you have a secret. - be in touch with your own body. When you are walking, pay attention to the movements of your body, the feelings on your skin. When you feel sensual, you automatically give off that sexy vibe. - wear sexy lingerie. Even though nobody sees it, it just makes you feel sexy. - make sure you are paying attention to the feminine details - your makeup, hair, nails, shaving legs, etc. - when talking to a man, smile. You don't have to turn outgoing or flamboyant. Just smile, show interest in what he's saying, and keep that feeling of sensuality within your own body. 3
kaylan Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 (edited) Heres a few ideas of what it could be; 1. If you are slim and athletic, Im very sure men take a sexual interest in you. Its maybe just that you dont pick up on their hints. 2. You have a good guy picker and you go after dudes who are subtle and not to forward about wanting sex. Consider this a good thing since many women have problems with guys being too forward and only wanting sex. 3. You are the nice girl, goodie type. And for some guys like myself, we dont wanna be too forward with those kinda girls because we dont wanna offend them. Im a very outlandish and extroverted guy and prefer that in a woman, but I do tone myself down around "nice girls" who are reserved and more serious at times. These are just possibilities Im thinking of, if in fact you have the hotty athletic body you mentioned lol. Edited August 14, 2013 by kaylan 2
Babolat Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I am a 28 year old female professional. I am successful. I am slim and athletic -- I work out religiously. But somehow men don’t perceive me in a sexual way. I have gone on a few dates and even though we had nice conversations I never had the feeling that the men “lusted” after me. If I am in a bar men pay more attention to others, even though I think I am not less attractive (I think). Of course, I cannot change who I am. I will always be somewhat serious and reserved. But, I would be grateful for any concrete ideas to help me to get noticed as sexual being, or to create a sexual atmosphere around me. Thank you I have met your type, and it's attractive to me. I call it the sexy librarian look, assuming you have "the look" that matches the personality. Personally, for me, don't change..it's a BIG turn on.
FitChick Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Wear makeup. There are a lot of tutorials on youtube.
GorillaTheater Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Different strokes, but for me you could accomplish what you want with your eyes. You know, that "boy, am I seriously thinking some naughty thoughts about you" look. You could be wearing a burqa and the eyes alone would make you pretty damn sexy. 2
forgetmenot75 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 -Wear your hair down, and play with it. -smile -smile -smile -did I say smile?
forgetmenot75 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Get a boob job...end of story.. TFY ???? Are you the one with the fake boobs obsession who keeps posting about this?? :S
thefooloftheyear Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 ???? Are you the one with the fake boobs obsession who keeps posting about this?? :S No... Im being a bit facetious... carry on.. TFY 2
forgetmenot75 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 No... Im being a bit facetious... carry on.. TFY Hahahaha!!! You're just hilarious!! :S
Author 123sara Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Thank you everyone. First I want to add I want to do this for me, not necessarily to meet a man. I am in the US. I know that my eyes, or my smile could make a difference, but I cannot change the way I look at people or how I smile at will. I have tried sexy lingerie and liked what it did but then it seemed to make me only more frustrated that I sat there frozen. I know that more revealing clothing might work, but somehow I either think things are tacky, or my inner prude fights my inner adventurous spirit and I chicken out. I think I would like someone who tells me to wear a specific thing. Also feeling overdressed like I try to hard would make me even more tense. I think it is a vicious cycle – that I need to break.
thefooloftheyear Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Hahahaha!!! You're just hilarious!! :S Lighten up, Francis... TFY
forgetmenot75 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Lighten up, Francis... TFY I had to search it on youtube...You made me smile 2
white Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 You need some way to relieve the pressure of the situation. You must be warm and personable around your friends, and you know you're sexy really, that's why you're posting. You just don't expose it to your dates because you're too rigid. Have you considered getting a bit drunk beforehand? You wouldn't be the first. 1
FitChick Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Where do you buy your clothes? Post a link to find an example of the type of stuff you would wear on a date.
Babolat Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Thank you everyone. First I want to add I want to do this for me, not necessarily to meet a man. I am in the US. I know that my eyes, or my smile could make a difference, but I cannot change the way I look at people or how I smile at will. I have tried sexy lingerie and liked what it did but then it seemed to make me only more frustrated that I sat there frozen. I know that more revealing clothing might work, but somehow I either think things are tacky, or my inner prude fights my inner adventurous spirit and I chicken out. I think I would like someone who tells me to wear a specific thing. Also feeling overdressed like I try to hard would make me even more tense. I think it is a vicious cycle – that I need to break. Eyes and smile will go a loooong way with me. Considering whitening your teeth if they have hints or shades of yellow/stains. I did and I feel much more confident smiling now. In fact, everyone in my social circle comments on how much I smile. You can change how much you smile...practice and it will eventually become more natural. And when you smile, well, you just feel good and you attract people to you. Revealing clothes? Not my thing really. It's how a woman carries herself that turns my head. Walk with a purpose, with confidence. Sounds like you have a free spirt, wild soul in you that is trying to get out. Let it out a little, get comfortable with it, slowly.
Author 123sara Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 I know that I need to relax but that is easier said than done – I am a high strung person by nature. I tend to over-think things – one or two drinks does not help and I need to be able to drive. Here an example of something similar to an outfit I have worn on a date ( if I go to a more casual place I wear skinny jeans and a fitted tshirt) Soft Joie Nuri Skirt | SHOPBOP Rebecca Taylor Eyelette Demi Peplum Top | SHOPBOP
Adele0908 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Embrace being a woman, be confident, smile, and flirt a little. Watch old Hollywood movies or a movie with Marilyn Monroe in it to pick up those feminine cues.
grkBoy Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Of course, I cannot change who I am. I will always be somewhat serious and reserved. But, I would be grateful for any concrete ideas to help me to get noticed as sexual being, or to create a sexual atmosphere around me. I think it's wonderful to be educated and a professional in a field. Unfortunately, I think many guys will only see this as an "added bonus", thinking you won't be some girl who's looking for a meal ticket. Some have made comments of "dressing more sexy", but I don't fully agree. Appearance-wise, I'd simply tell you to dress in a means that does show your sense of class, but also makes you appear friendly, approachable, and relaxed. Let your hair down, put on the makeup, wear a stylish top with those fitted jeans to show off your athletic body. In terms of conversation, if you meet a guy you like, be a little flirty. Most men I've noticed who get "turned off" from the "educated professional woman" usually speak of how she made them feel small (when she didn't mean to), or more often they thought she wasn't into them (when she was). I'm not saying you should get physical with a guy on a first date, but try to make it obvious that you like him and perhaps want to see him more. Dress like a lady for him so he knows inside you're carrying interest, and want him to feel the same. Believe me, we men are not pillars of strength who can instantly "know". We are just as insecure inside as you women are...wondering if this person likes them. 1
RedRobin Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I suggest taking dance lessons. (of course, I'm biased. My avatar is me) You learn how to move your body, learn proper posture, coordination...and if the classes involve men, you will be getting held by many of them Lots of opportunities to safely explore your sensual side without crossing any lines (until you want to, ha ha) I tell this to men too... lots of people these days were never schooled on how to carry themselves... 'Presence' as they say. Works for both genders.
Babolat Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Soft Joie Nuri Skirt | SHOPBOP Rebecca Taylor Eyelette Demi Peplum Top | SHOPBOP Looks great to me!
turt Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Don't concentrate on how you appear but instead on how you act. Get close to them (maybe even gently brush into them), look straight into their eyes and smile.
Babolat Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I love skinny jeans, wear them myslef. I am more attracted to the boot cut low rider type of jeans though, more of a Bohemian, hippy look...just me though. I LOVE to see a womans arms and shoulders too. You sound fit, so show them off.
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