BOSSHOGG5 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I have been divorced for over a year now but have not seen my ex wife for 34 months now. This is to include my three boys (two are grown, and my youngest is 16). When she left she told no one and abandoned us for a man I believe she is married to now. It's tough for me to do this because I want nothing to do with her, but am doing this for my youngest son. I ask myself why can't her new man put her up in a hotel, rent her a car, etc, etc. She asked for me to pick her up at the airport as well. I have discussed this with my now girlfriend who is a little leary of the fact that my ex will be staying under the same roof. I have assured her that I will have limited contact with my ex and will be staying with her as much as possible. It's all awkward and uncomfortable for me. I plan on discussing some important issues with my ex, like why have you not helped me support your youngest child. I did not go after her for child support because I am tired of her and wanted nothing to do with her. I will tell her however that if she is not going to give money to me to at least give money to my youngest son. I don't need her money, but it would go a long way in how my son can cope with things. If he knows she is supporting him then he would not feel so bad about things I believe. I guess I just want to hear from someone who has experience in this type of matter.
denxnis Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 You're not obligated to let her stay in your home nor should you do so, especially if you have a girlfriend. How would you feel if your now girlfriend invited her ex-husband to stay for a few days?
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 This is a bad idea. On so many levels.
Omei Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 You owe this woman nothing why is she getting a free pass into your sons life. Do short visits.
SoleMate Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I don't think many people have experience in THIS exact situation as it is uncommon. Your ex-wife behaved very badly by abandoning her minor child and not supporting him. Nevertheless, your son probably wants to see his mother and as a selfless father, you probably will choose to facilitate that, while minimizing contact with the ex-wife. Is your ex-wife very poor, or do you live in such a remote area that there are no motels or taxis and you need a floatplane to get around? Because those are the only really compelling reasons I could think of why you'd even offer to accommodate her or provide transportation. Otherwise, I'd just say arrange timing and allow your son the run of the house so he can visit with his mother 1:1 while you are occupied elsewhere.
Author BOSSHOGG5 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 In response to some of the comments, my girlfriend and I have discussed this in depth. This is clearly being done for my kids on a one time basis. All three of my boys will be here and that gives me an out. Sometimes we have to let go of our feelings for the sake of your children and this is one of those times. My ex is not working and never really has which caused us problems. I believe something is wrong with her and tried to address the situation but failed. We were married 23 yrs. My boys will not go to visit her on the other side of the country because they want nothing to do with her new mate. I must say, it is a sad situation and Lord knows that I tried but I have moved on and have no regrets other than on that occasion seeing that pain on my kids face. Doing my best.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Not sure of your sitch, but a room at the Red Roof would be appropriate. It would be worth paying and your boys are old enough to drive over there. They can pick her up from the airport. These are boundaries. If she has something private to discuss with you, then she can tell you and you can meet somewhere neutral.
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