Meeting his Mother

[nescafe1982]

So it's been a while since I posted a thread, but I thought I'd give an update and ask for some advice. I've been with my BF for a little over two years now. We are temporarily LDR but I'm moving cross-country to join him this October. I've met everyone in his family except for his mother; she's been living in France and just recently moved back to the States. I'm going to visit the BF this weekend and she's going to be there.

 

This will be a very auspicious visit as my BF's mom is a HUGE figure in his life. One could say he's a momma's boy, I guess. But she's by all accounts a bit too dependent on him emotionally: she calls him a lot, she's meddled in past relationships of his, she is also very religious and he was scared to tell her about us for months because "she wouldn't like the idea of us having premarital sex," etc. I haven't met the lady yet but all the things I've heard make me afraid of her... especially since I want to a) have a friendly relationship with her and b) I do NOT want her to feel like I'm "competition."

 

So I want advice: how can I approach meeting her for the very first time? How can I put my best foot forward? Any strategies for dealing with someone who I imagine will be difficult to impress?

Edited August 14, 2013 by nescafe1982
spelling

[TB Rhine]

Isn't there a TV show or something about this?

[Ruby Slippers]

I have a history of being involved with men with difficult mothers.

 

The only thing you can do is be gracious and kind. Even if she's crazy, possessive, meddlesome - just keep your cool no matter what. If he's smart, he'll see that she's being difficult, while you're being kind.

 

Your boyfriend's boundaries with his mother are up to him. Some men will lay down appropriate boundaries and refuse to let mom interfere in the relationship; some will not.

 

You can't do much to influence his decision where his mother and family are concerned. You'll just have to see how he handles it, and decide if you can live with that or not.