theonlyjuan Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I thought I would share some things I have learned since my breakup. Hopefully it will help someone. This is just from my own experience. 1) Let it all out - Just cry, get angry or whatever you need to do. Do not bottle it all up because it will all come out eventually 2) Get closure/Accept it is over - If your going to live in hope, you are in for a rough ride. The sooner you get closure the sooner you will start to move on. 3) Keep busy - If you have a job then that helps. Do whatever you have to, to keep yourself busy. If you have a hobby then get involved in that. If you don't have one then find one. They help to fill the time, you don't want to sit around all day moping. 4) Exercise - This one helped me the most. Exercise does make you feel better and it lets you let out your frustrations. Not only will you feel better but you will look better too. It is always a bonus when your ex sees you looking great and not in pieces. 5) Spend time with friends/family - You do not want to be stuck alone all the time, even though you might feel like you want to. Talk to your friends/family about it all, if you need to. Enjoy other peoples company. 6) Find yourself again - Rediscover all the things that used to make you happy. Find out what makes you happy outside of a partner and do it! You only get one shot at life! Everyone has dreams but most of us put them aside for someone. Revisit your dreams and make them reality. 7) Listen to music - Another major thing is my life. I had all my music before I met my ex and it has always been there for me. It always makes me feel better, no matter what has happened. 8) Improve yourself - I took this breakup as a gift. This has given me the chance to improve myself physically and mentally. I got lazy in my relationship, like most people do. I have improved my health,looks and career side of life. I feel great for it and it has opened many doors in life for me. 9) Enjoy your own company - Don't mistake loneliness for missing your ex You will have good days and bad days. During my bad days I felt like I missed my ex but I just missed having someone. You soon start to get used to your own company. The thought of being alone really freaked me out but I am really starting to enjoy having my own space and rules. 10) Go out/meet new people - You don't have to look for potential dates or partners, just enjoy making new friends. The times I have been out and met new people, I never once thought about my ex. You may even meet someone who is going through what you are, you could help each other out. Do not become a recluse! There is a world outside of your room, get out there and have fun! 11) Love yourself - For whatever reason you broke up, it is not a personal fault. People are complicated including you. People fall in and out of love all the time. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or you're not worthy. Do not search for answers as to why you were dumped, you won't find any. Accept it for what it is, the dumpers issues! 12) Social media/stalking - Block,delete your ex, unless you want to keep opening up a wound. This is not good for your recovery. 13) Anyone can love again - We all feel awful during the beginning of being dumped. You may not feel like it now but you can love again. Don't let the breakup get the better of you, pick yourself up and move on. When you start rebuilding yourself and your life again, your outlook will change. There are millions of potential partners in this world, be patient and believe. 14) Everything happens for a reason/It wasn't meant to be - If you look at life this way, it helps. People come in and our of your life all the time, that is life. Don't beat yourself up about it all, it just wasn't meant to be. The right person will come along when the time is right, they may leave when the time is right. It doesn't mean this is the end of your life, it's the beginning of a new chapter of your life. You won't see it at the time but when you look back one day, you will. 15) Make the best of any situation good or bad - This is sort of a combination of all the above. You can either go to pieces and blame yourself or take positive action. You have been knocked down and had your heart ripped out but this is not the end! Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Improve yourself, for-fill your dreams, meet new people, see your friends etc your heart will mend in the meantime. You will become a much stronger person inside and you will take this experience into your next relationship. Part of life is learning, you will learn quite a bit about yourself from all this. Your ex will move on just as you will. People change and you may very well feel like strangers if you meet again. Once you are truly happy with yourself and your life, then you will be ready to love again. Never force it, you will end up settling and become unhappy. You do not need validation form anyone else to be happy or complete, it has to come within first. You want someone to love you for yourself, not someone you are pretending to be. Only you can really change your life for the best. The only person you can truly depend on in life, is you! People will come and go but you will always have yourself. So, be kind and love yourself. This quote about life is perfect. It is what I have been trying to get across, but I am not the best with words lol. Yeah, the film is bit cheesy but the scene made the film for me. " Let me tell you something you already know. The worlds aren't all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it… You've gotta hit as hard as life. It isn't about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much can you take and keep moving forward? That’s how winning is done" Stay positive guys! We all deserve to be happy and we will. 7
JDPT Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 This is a great post. I really indulged in every phase and advise which certainly resonates with my situations and I'm certain many others as well. Being positive is imperative for me as it may be easy for me to allow the current to eventually drag me to a sea and drown. I need to keep pushing day in and day out as the only person that matters at this point is me, and I do all of this for me. All this pain will eventually make sense to us and all the hard work we put into our recovery journey will eventually pay off. 1
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