I want him bad. How can I tell him?

[jacg89]

we have been friends for a year, and I really like him, a lot. hes 30 and im 24.

about a week ago we were driving & then he started talking, saying how much he really LOVES me, & that I am a really sweet woman and he would die to ask me to be his girlfriend, but he can't... because he doesn't want either of us to get hurt when he goes back to his country.. (he wants to go there 'free' to work on his farm) he has told me before that 'one day' I am going to go to his country.. haha. He said that I deserve better. In all reality, I want him. bad. And every

I was in shock I just accepted what he had to say but tell him how he was wrong about not deserving me... I just melted.

while we were saying our goodnights, he kissed me on the lips, twice! we didn't make out or anything, but that was a first for us... and it made me happy.

He is going to come back to the U.S. in about 1-2 yrs, and I was thinking of telling him (if he brings it up again) that Id be willing to wait for him.. I don't wanna sound creepy.. How can I do this??

 

I feel like one day we will be together.. like he could be the one.

 

Any other thoughts or opinions are really appreciated!! :) thanks

[rocketman122]

we have been friends for a year, and I really like him, a lot. hes 30 and im 24.

about a week ago we were driving & then he started talking, saying how much he really LOVES me, & that I am a really sweet woman and he would die to ask me to be his girlfriend, but he can't... because he doesn't want either of us to get hurt when he goes back to his country.. (he wants to go there 'free' to work on his farm) he has told me before that 'one day' I am going to go to his country.. haha. He said that I deserve better. In all reality, I want him. bad. And every

I was in shock I just accepted what he had to say but tell him how he was wrong about not deserving me... I just melted.

while we were saying our goodnights, he kissed me on the lips, twice! we didn't make out or anything, but that was a first for us... and it made me happy.

He is going to come back to the U.S. in about 1-2 yrs, and I was thinking of telling him (if he brings it up again) that Id be willing to wait for him.. I don't wanna sound creepy.. How can I do this??

 

I feel like one day we will be together.. like he could be the one.

 

Any other thoughts or opinions are really appreciated!! :) thanks

 

 

A lot can happen within that time. we are not promised tomorrow. be realistic, not optimistic.

[truth_seeker]

Sounds like you're caught up with that kiss. You're on a high now but see how you are in a month or when you come across another man you find attractive.

[jacg89]

Sounds like you're caught up with that kiss. You're on a high now but see how you are in a month or when you come across another man you find attractive.

 

oh..thanks..? I have to just say though that I disagree with you.. I have been friends with him for a year already.. I have always loved him (hes a family friend too) and since we have been hanging out, I seriously don't even want another guy. I am optimistic, yes, but I cant help but think that he is the one... =/ so I have been 'caught up' way before that kiss.. haha.

[truth_seeker]

oh..thanks..? I have to just say though that I disagree with you.. I have been friends with him for a year already.. I have always loved him (hes a family friend too) and since we have been hanging out, I seriously don't even want another guy. I am optimistic, yes, but I cant help but think that he is the one... =/ so I have been 'caught up' way before that kiss.. haha.

 

So you are willing to wait 1-2 years for him? What if he finds someone else? You will not see anyone while you wait? If you want to be together, it should be now.

[JustSomeoneHurt]

we have been friends for a year, and I really like him, a lot. hes 30 and im 24.

about a week ago we were driving & then he started talking, saying how much he really LOVES me, & that I am a really sweet woman and he would die to ask me to be his girlfriend, but he can't... because he doesn't want either of us to get hurt when he goes back to his country.. (he wants to go there 'free' to work on his farm) he has told me before that 'one day' I am going to go to his country.. haha. He said that I deserve better. In all reality, I want him. bad. And every

I was in shock I just accepted what he had to say but tell him how he was wrong about not deserving me... I just melted.

while we were saying our goodnights, he kissed me on the lips, twice! we didn't make out or anything, but that was a first for us... and it made me happy.

He is going to come back to the U.S. in about 1-2 yrs, and I was thinking of telling him (if he brings it up again) that Id be willing to wait for him.. I don't wanna sound creepy.. How can I do this??

 

I feel like one day we will be together.. like he could be the one.

 

Any other thoughts or opinions are really appreciated!! :) thanks

 

I think he has said everything he needs to say. This is just him using a manipulation tactic to suck you into a bad situation so that when it does go bad, and it will, he will have an excuse and say 'I warned you I didn't want you to become my gf...'

 

I would say move on, just for your own health and respect.

[jacg89]

So you are willing to wait 1-2 years for him? What if he finds someone else? You will not see anyone while you wait? If you want to be together, it should be now.

 

that's kind of why I wanted to make a post here.. find a way to bring it up and see how he feels about that. I am not in a rush to get into a relationship.

He told me that he's not going to go out and be crazy when he goes there.. his family has a huge farm that he wants to work on,(he hasn't seen his family in like 10 years...) and then eventually come back to America..

[truth_seeker]

that's kind of why I wanted to make a post here.. find a way to bring it up and see how he feels about that. I am not in a rush to get into a relationship.

He told me that he's not going to go out and be crazy when he goes there.. his family has a huge farm that he wants to work on,(he hasn't seen his family in like 10 years...) and then eventually come back to America..

 

Okay, lets say he goes away for two years, comes back, finds you, and tells you he wants to be with you. Yet, you are in a relationship with someone else.

 

What do you do? Drop the other guy for him?

 

You want to know how to bring it up? You talk to him directly about this.

 

YOU: I want to be with you. Don't go. Stay.

 

See what he says.

[Perrier]

Quote I feel like one day we will be together.. like he could be the one.

 

I think his kiss has zapped you!

 

I'd root myself realistically if I were you. Talk to this man. The whole thing sounds up in the air to me - a lot can happen in two years. Not a good idea to discuss waiting for him if all you've shared is a kiss and little talk about you two.

 

An another poster said, the time to act is now.

 

Also does it bother you that feelings are coming to light now he's about to leave? Why didn't this surface before now?

[jacg89]

Quote I feel like one day we will be together.. like he could be the one.

 

I think his kiss has zapped you!

 

I'd root myself realistically if I were you. Talk to this man. The whole thing sounds up in the air to me - a lot can happen in two years. Not a good idea to discuss waiting for him if all you've shared is a kiss and little talk about you two.

 

An another poster said, the time to act is now.

 

Also does it bother you that feelings are coming to light now he's about to leave? Why didn't this surface before now?

 

Well he isn't about to leave until about 6 months... I'm not sure what made him tell me now, but he has definetly been a flirt and we've been hanging out since I've met him.

It does make me wonder about the 2 years thing, but he did say that he wants to go alone for a little while, but then he wants me (well... I "need") to go to his country one day.. it kind of makes me think that he has had this plan all along, like... whenever he is ready for a relationship, he is going to want me to go to his country. I mean, would any guy just have a random girl that they just so happened to like come to see their country? and just because they are 'friends'? he already told me how he felt..

I can see if we found somebody else and that would be another story. but I kinda wanted to just throw the idea out there to him... and its true, I am definetly NOT in a rush to get into a relationship. im only 24, I have time

[jacg89]

we have been friends for a year, and I really like him, a lot. hes 30 and im 24.

about a week ago we were driving & then he started talking, saying how much he really LOVES me, & that I am a really sweet woman and he would die to ask me to be his girlfriend, but he can't... because he doesn't want either of us to get hurt when he goes back to his country.. (he wants to go there 'free' to work on his farm) he has told me before that 'one day' I am going to go to his country.. haha. He said that I deserve better. In all reality, I want him. bad. And every

I was in shock I just accepted what he had to say but tell him how he was wrong about not deserving me... I just melted.

while we were saying our goodnights, he kissed me on the lips, twice! we didn't make out or anything, but that was a first for us... and it made me happy.

He is going to come back to the U.S. in about 1-2 yrs, and I was thinking of telling him (if he brings it up again) that Id be willing to wait for him.. I don't wanna sound creepy.. How can I do this??

 

I feel like one day we will be together.. like he could be the one.

 

Any other thoughts or opinions are really appreciated!! :) thanks

 

So.. what is the difference to you guys when you are saying that I have been 'zapped' by his kiss? Does it not sound like it could be a relationship one day or something??

[sdraw108]

Either, (a) date him, and move out with him when he goes abroad, or (b) completely forget him, stop contacting him, and move on.

 

If you go for (b), then maybe when he comes back, you reconnect, and end up having a relationship. A lot will have to go right for that to happen (you might have a boyfriend, he might have a girlfriend, he might not come back at all, etc.). But it doesn't matter because you moved on in the meantime.

 

Waiting for him for 2 years on the expectation of a relationship, is obsessive and unhealthy to an extreme degree. Don't throw away two of the best years of your life (you're at prime dating age right now) on a shadow of a possibility of a future relationship with this guy.