inevercheated Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I caught my wife “cheating” on me with a co-worker a few years ago. Well I think of it as cheating, she said they never had sex just talked, text, and IM, I really don’t believe her. For the sake of our kids I figured we should try to work it out. I told her to stop and caught her again multiple times. She even created a fake twitter account so she could communicate with him outside of work. Shortly after I found out about the twitter account, she said she was done and he even got a new job somewhere else so they would no longer work together. For that reason I gave her another chance. About a week later I found she was planning on sending him a goodbye love poem. I was pissed and ready to leave her after that. She said it was her way to end what they had and she thought of it as closure “Major BS” if you ask me. Numb to the situation I just let it go. After that things got better and I hope she left things alone. I feel she may have continued communicating with him through her work email, but they never got together. Fast forward to Today! Her job is doing layoffs and she applied for the same company that he works for. She has an interview at this company in a few days, and she tried NOT to mention that he works there. I have a strong feeling that she asked him to pull some strings to get her in the company. This is not a fact just a feeling. From the outside looking in can you tell me if I’m wrong for wanting to leave her? I don’t think she’s talked to him for about a year, and our relationship has been good. She’s a great mother and I still love her, but I refuse to take the cheating. Am I over reacting for leaving her if she take’s this job?
aliveagain Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Why would she purposely disrespect you that way. She knows that OM works there yet she is applying for a position without considering how this will effect you. Did she discuss this with you before making the application? Put your foot down, tell her what your boundary's are, working with OM is a major no no. It is obvious to me that she is the pursuer and they are most likely still in contact. Decide what is more important to you, your marriage or her job than cut this off early.
RightThere Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, sounds like a duck...... There may or may not be a physical affair going on, but there definitely is an emotional one. The physical part usually just shows up later at some point.
Confused48 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 You should re-post this in the "infidelity" part of this site. It is a subsection of "Marriage." You will get a lot more responses there. Yes she slept with him and is probably still doing it. She just got better at hiding her tracks. That is what happens when you catch a cheater and tell them how you caught them.
Zahara Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 From the outside looking in can you tell me if I’m wrong for wanting to leave her? I don’t think she’s talked to him for about a year, and our relationship has been good. She’s a great mother and I still love her, but I refuse to take the cheating. Eh, she's cheated on you multiple times and each time, you kept taking her back.
RightThere Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Eh, she's cheated on you multiple times and each time, you kept taking her back. There is no proof of that. You cannot say THAT is what happened because you don't know. However all signs point to either some kind of affair (even an emotional one) or they are the roadmap to an upcoming affair.
Zahara Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 (edited) There is no proof of that. You cannot say THAT is what happened because you don't know. However all signs point to either some kind of affair (even an emotional one) or they are the roadmap to an upcoming affair. Errr....she created a fake Twitter account t communicate with him and sent the man a goodbye love poem. No proof just because she said she didn't have sex but just talked and IM about how the sun is blue? Please. Stepping outside of your marriage and engaging with another man inappropriately is cheating, especially when she continued to disrespect and disregard her husband's need (assumption or not) for her to disengage. Edited August 14, 2013 by Zahara
Darren Steez Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 OP, honestly, you can't be serious. What is it you're not understanding what's going on. She's disrespected you repeatedly and you've done sod all. You might as well let her go and work with him. This is what inaction gets you.
revitup Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Yup........................................................... REVITUP
beatcuff Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 OP do not get distracted or bogged down on did she or not. assume she did not. the real issue is when you confronted her and SHE AGREED TO STOP she did not - numerous times.
ArtOfLiving Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Should you leave or not? I thought this might help...
Porridge Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Oh boy, this one is annoying me! She's pretty much confirmed to you that she'd been involved with this bloke for some time. And then she then wanted to write him a poem for closure??? Man, write her a poem entitled 'shove it up your backside'. Seriously, this woman is acting with no consideration or commitment to you whatsoever. I would send her a** packing in a heartbeat! Damn! Need to calm down.............. 1
hayewils Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 From what I am reading, she has ZERO respect and ZERO consideration for you. She applied for a job where he works.. She has been talking to him. Dude... she doesn't think about your feelings, she doesn't consider you at all.. Seems to me that all she is doing or all that she has done is wait, keep you hanging, till she gets her opportunity with him.. and its probably again. I would not put up with that. I would let her know, if you want to be with this guy so damn bad, here are your bags, get'm packed and get the eff out!
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