Broken

[wordplayer]

Hi.

 

This is gonna be a long one.

 

Anyway, four years ago I met my daughter's friend's father at our neighborhood park. Immediately I thought he was wonderful. We became friends and his family and my daughter and I would do things together. Three years ago things heated up and we started what would turn out to be a three year affair. He knew that I loved him... that I was very clear about. Actually, he knew it before I did.

 

One year in I became pregnant. He had talked about us having a child. We had some issues but worked it out. I had my son on Leap Day 2012. He spent time with the baby as allowed and after a rough month in summer (his wife is a teacher so it was always that way) we were back together and things were ok.

 

This year I became more jealous and mean than I have ever been. I was tired and pretty lonely. I was always SO MAD but I loved him so much. I became threatening and such. I never thought he'd tell but he did last Saturday with my son and I in the room. He said to her, "You're right about everything, except that I don't want to be with her. I want to stay." After that she left and a whirlwind followed of him visiting my family and apologizing, telling them we had carried on all along and I wouldn't be alright. I followed him back to his house (they live up the street) and he told me he'd care about me because I was my son's mother but that was it, he wanted no more relations with me. He almost ran over my feet to leave.

 

Every night he's play this damn word game with me until Sat. I don't know what to do, I can hardly function I am so broken hearted. No contact since but to ask we keep it under wraps for a week while his daughter has a performance. Not even a how are you or how is my son?

 

What happens now?

Edited August 14, 2013 by wordplayer

[canuckprincess]

Hi.

 

This is gonna be a long one.

 

Anyway, four years ago I met my daughter's friend's father at our neighborhood park. Immediately I thought he was wonderful. We became friends and his family and my daughter and I would do things together. Three years ago things heated up and we started what would turn out to be a three year affair. He knew that I loved him... that I was very clear about. Actually, he knew it before I did.

 

One year in I became pregnant. He had talked about us having a child. We had some issues but worked it out. I had my son on Leap Day 2012. He spent time with the baby as allowed and after a rough month in summer (his wife is a teacher so it was always that way) we were back together and things were ok.

 

This year I became more jealous and mean than I have ever been. I was tired and pretty lonely. I was always SO MAD but I loved him so much. I became threatening and such. I never thought he'd tell but he did last Saturday with my son and I in the room. He said to her, "You're right about everything, except that I don't want to be with her. I want to stay." After that she left and a whirlwind followed of him visiting my family and apologizing, telling them we had carried on all along and I wouldn't be alright. I followed him back to his house (they live up the street) and he told me he'd care about me because I was my son's mother but that was it, he wanted no more relations with me. He almost ran over my feet to leave.

 

Every night he's play this damn word game with me until Sat. I don't know what to do, I can hardly function I am so broken hearted. No contact since but to ask we keep it under wraps for a week while his daughter has a performance. Not even a how are you or how is my son?

 

What happens now?

 

All I can say is "wow" oh and of course I hope he's paying child support. I can't believe his wife is allowing him to stay. She must of knee something was going on and he was rug sweeping. How sad for you and his wife.

Screw him with keeping it under wraps, tell everyone. Play the victim, let the world know what a pos he is.

Edited August 14, 2013 by canuckprincess

[wordplayer]

He doesn't pay support. He doesn't have a job. She does. He stays home. Would always tell me love wasn't what marriage was about. He has nothing I want, I just wanted to be with him.

 

Another bad part...

 

A few months ago I started talking to a guy I met online who was moving here. He did and we started going out. After 6 dates I went to stay with him the weekend before the blow up. It ended up being akward when we tried to do stuff. I know it was because I really loved my son's father. Now I don't hear from him as much, even after I confronted the situation and he said we were ok and should try again. How do I handle that? I actually told son's father during the blow up and he says, "Why are you telling me this now?"

[skywriter]

I'm sorry you are hurting wordplayer. I also hope you are getting child support and if not then you should begin to pursue that as soon as you feel able to. Your son deserves it. I disagree with the poster who says you should play the victim. First of all playing a victim is pretty lame and it has pretty shallow rewards. Secondly you are not a victim. Affairs rarely end up with the MM running off with the OW and living happily ever after. It happens but it's not the norm. You knew he was married from the start and you hung with his family so it sounds like the BW was betrayed by both her husband and by you. Also doesn't sound like you need to tell everyone because it sounds like he's already doing that. It's never a good idea to pin your happiness on getting a man especially not a married one.

 

I know you are hurting and I understand that and I'm sorry. You can get through this and you will. You say you have been very angry with him for the past year. This is obviously because the affair was no longer meeting your needs or expectations and it was causing you pain. Try to look at this as you being set free from that agony. Your pain is great at the moment but now there actually is a light at the end of the tunnel. The pain will pass eventually and you will go on and have a life without the turmoil you have been in. Seek counselling if you need to. Stay the course and you will be okay.

 

I agree with this post and would add, that healing,as well as not repeating the same behavior in the future will happen, when you acknowledge that you are responsible for your choices and behaviors.