sm4284 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Hey I had posted in my this a couple of days ago in this same area of the forums (torn at the crossroads). In there you can find the details of us before the breakup. But like I saidwe had just broken up and we left on good terms ( she wanted one last night together and she wanted all these promises that I wouldn't be out of her life for good ). I think she never wanted to leave and if your read the details you know why. If you didn't read the details basically her parents told her if she did they would give her enough money to pay her debt from doctor bills and rent. We had a lot of problems but I think if she had never talked to her parents then she wouldn't have left. I honestly don't believe she wanted to leave at all. After she left it had been hard but what makes this very confusing is the fact that she still wants to talk and text. When I tell her about no contact she starrs to cry and is scared I wont talk to her at all. I know if she could come back without her family back lashing at her for doing so she would. Her family is the biggest the obsticle we have as and unless she realizes this my hopes of us are basically none. I don't know what to do because I want her back. she is like no other girl I have dated and it makes all this that much harder. Idk what to do guys please help!
along60years Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 (edited) You need to go NC and move on. This relationship is toxic and it sounds like you have your own issues with self-esteem that you need to work on. She can't fix you, she's not a bandaid. You two have had several chances and frankly she is just using you as a crutch now so she doesn't have to face the reality of her decision. You are helping her get over you and move on by staying in contact. You are her methadone clinic. Have some pride and knock it off. ACTUALLY work on yourself, don't just pretend you have fixed your issues actually do it or they will keep coming up. As long as you are doing it for her instead of just to make your life better it will never stick. Accept the fact that the relationship was painful for you as much as you love her. True love does not hurt and you do not want to spend your life in that kind of pain, it will eat you alive. She has her family, it is their job to be there and look out for her now. You have no responsibility to her and she should understand that you need to heal. If you have to just don't reach out or respond again instead of asking for her permission to go NC. She sure as hell didn't ask for your permission when she made her decision. It's her bed to lay in. By staying in contact you are making it easier for her to get comfortable with her decision and when she meets someone else she will not hesitate to leave you behind wondering what happened. You don't want to be around for that. You know nothing for sure. You cannot be in her head and things often turn out very different from how they seem. People have A LOT of stories to tell when they leave. Trusting those excuses is fooling yourself. Her family, ha, that's crap. They are all words to describe gently that they don't love us anymore. They just don't want to be the bad guy. Edited August 14, 2013 by along60years
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