There's this older guy at work...

[spark123]

So there's this guy at work who I've become pretty good friends with. He's really fit and likes sport, and there's a bunch of us at work who play some sport together. The thing is, I've been realising I like him as more than a friend.

 

He's single, but....there are a few factors I'm worried about.

 

1. Does he like me in that way?

 

2. He's 12 years older than me (I'm 25, he's 37).

 

3. I work with him, I'm sure neither of us would want to be the subject of gossip.

 

4. He's divorced.

 

5. I'm in a professional job, and he's not. I'm not too concerned about that, but I can't help thinking it would be better if he too were in a more stable job and had more financial foundations. He is thinking of doing some further training/study to get a better job.

 

 

Other factors: I haven't been in a relationship before. So I feel really conflicted about what to do.

 

We talk a lot, and sometimes he teases me. He once jokingly asked me what time he should come over for dinner. He's good at cooking so I asked him when he was going to cook for me. The other day he was winking at me when no one else could see.

 

Maybe I'm over-analysing. I just like the guy, if I didn't work with him, it would be easier to do something about it. At the moment I'm just seeing what happens...

 

What do you guys think? Thanks.

Edited August 14, 2013 by spark123

[Standard-Fare]

Maybe I'm over-analysing.

 

Yes. It's a little early to worry about his past marriage and his lack of professional status. It doesn't sound like you're close to dating so it's not yet time to take stock of him that way.

 

But those factors, and the others you listed, don't seem like they should be dealbreakers if you two do end up pursuing anything.

[spark123]

Thanks for the reply. I'm thinking maybe he's not into me...lately he's been commenting on girls that we work with or know, saying they're pretty and stuff.

 

Disappointing. He's an awesome friend though, so that's something.

[BeholdtheMan]

Disappointing. He's an awesome friend though, so that's something.

I'm pretty sure a 37 year old guy would be sexually interested in a 25 year old woman, unless you're physically below average.

 

Just because he talks about other women with you doesn't mean he wouldn't bang you. It might be a way of hiding his attraction to you. A mindgame if you will. Believe it or not, some women are more attracted to men who don't show interest in them.

[spark123]

I want a relationship with him though, not just sex.