imbetteroff Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 He is still texting me trying to convince me to have sex with him again, but not only do I not want to, I want him to get caught. I know he has other women over to his house so it's just a matter of time before he gets caught. I don't want to wait, I want him to get caught now. He's only been married for a couple months, so the sooner the wife finds out the sooner she'll be able to move on with her life. They got married the same week her divorce became final, who knows, she may be able to go back to her ex-husband and father of her kids. He has asked me over to his house once again, I want to go, not have sex with him but leave a thing or two in a place where the wife will find it. Any suggestions? And no, I'm not trying to do this because I feel sorry for her, I want to do it because I've started to hate him. How dare he text me after I asked him to stop several times and flat out told him his persistence was emotionally hurting me and was killing my marriage.
LimeBlue Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 What about if you block him and flat out ignore him? Or have you done this yet he still continues?
Author imbetteroff Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 The only way for me to block him is to pay a monthly fee to my cell phone company and I don't want to do that. Or change my phone number and pay a one time fee, which I've done before, but he found my new phone number because, well, he's a cop. I've thought about threatening to tell his boss, but I'm a bit afraid of him. But if his wife was to find out then maybe he'll lay low to keep her happy and leave me alone.
PutARingOnIt Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I would usually say don't tell the wife but you said he has other women over to his house. The house that he shares with his wife? Sexing them in his wife's bed? That is disgusting. Tell her. She needs to know that she is laying in other women's sex juices at night. UGH.
Author imbetteroff Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Yes, he uses their marital bed to have sex with other women. I was foolish enough to believe he was in an open relationship when he was married to his ex-wife. I don't want to have sex with him anymore, and we haven't seen each other in 7 months. I've told him it's over, yet, he just laughs about it and says "sorry, I won't text you again" then a few days later he texts again, telling me that he misses me and we HAVE to meet one last time. I tried to break it off since last August, and he said let's just do it one more time and of course once I agreed to a last time he just kept asking for more.
whichwayisup Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 He is still texting me trying to convince me to have sex with him again, but not only do I not want to, I want him to get caught. I know he has other women over to his house so it's just a matter of time before he gets caught. I don't want to wait, I want him to get caught now. He's only been married for a couple months, so the sooner the wife finds out the sooner she'll be able to move on with her life. They got married the same week her divorce became final, who knows, she may be able to go back to her ex-husband and father of her kids. He has asked me over to his house once again, I want to go, not have sex with him but leave a thing or two in a place where the wife will find it. Any suggestions? And no, I'm not trying to do this because I feel sorry for her, I want to do it because I've started to hate him. How dare he text me after I asked him to stop several times and flat out told him his persistence was emotionally hurting me and was killing my marriage. Be aware, since you are wanting to tell to screw him over in a malicious way that he and his wife (especially his wife) WILL contact YOUR husband and tell about the affair, so what you put out there be prepared to deal with. You both are married. You knew better yet still cheated on your husband. Unfortunate that the MM you had your A with is a real scumbag and has other OW as well. Don't put all the blame on him, it takes two. Block him, change your number and make it impossible for him to contact you through text and email. Also, fact that you do not care about his wife, nor feel sorry for her means you won't be owing your part in all this and apologizing for helping him cheat on her. 2
ComingInHot Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Again (and I Know I sound like a broken record*) I vote the truth comes out, for everybody. Are You prepared for the Truth to come out? 3
whichwayisup Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 The only way for me to block him is to pay a monthly fee to my cell phone company and I don't want to do that. Or change my phone number and pay a one time fee, which I've done before, but he found my new phone number because, well, he's a cop. I've thought about threatening to tell his boss, but I'm a bit afraid of him. But if his wife was to find out then maybe he'll lay low to keep her happy and leave me alone. Call your phone company and see if there's a way of blocking him on your phone. Or just delete his texts without reading them. That is on you! You don't have to read them, nobody is forcing you to read and reply back. If you tell his boss, own your part in the A, don't put it all on him. You'll have to come clean about the A..You can't tell his boss and just say he is harassing me and leave out that part.
aspiringuitarheroine Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Just change your phone number and stay out of it. 1
Author imbetteroff Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 (edited) I have not helped him cheat on his current wife. I had no idea she even existed until about a couple months ago and I have not had physical contact with him for 7 months. My husband and I have talked about our problems and he told me he "knows" I've done something, but he is willing to forgive and work on our marriage since I forgave him for his affair 12 years ago. My hubby does not want to throw away 15 years of marriage, he says he loves me and wants to stay married to me. I think I'm just going to cancel my phone for a while. I already cancelled the only email address, and he is blocked on FB, but I should probably deactivate that too. Edited August 14, 2013 by imbetteroff 1
Lady2163 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Since he's a cop, I would tread lightly... Is there a way to tell his wife anonymously? Obviously, you can't send a letter snail mail the day after he texts you, but some way that protects your identity. I'm not trying to go all James Bond, but could you go to a library and create an email or Facebook account that doesn't link back to you? In this instance, I understand why you want to do it, but I think you should protect yourself.
whichwayisup Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Your H is guessing but have you told him the truth? About the A and all that has happened from start to finish? I suggest you and your H go to marriage counseling and you go on your own as well to understand why you had the A in the first place and affair proof yourself and your marriage. Whether the guy was married or not in the long run doesn't matter, you still had an A. If the guy hadn't been married maybe your A would have gone on for much longer and you'd still be in it. Then you and your H tell his wife together. This way your H has your back and you are a united front.
Author imbetteroff Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 I know. I have no idea how he is still a cop, he threw his wife out of a slow moving car when she asked him for a divorce...in front of their 3 children. She wants NOTHING to do with him and took out a protective order, which he violated a few months later.
whichwayisup Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I know. I have no idea how he is still a cop, he threw his wife out of a slow moving car when she asked him for a divorce...in front of their 3 children. She wants NOTHING to do with him and took out a protective order, which he violated a few months later. In this particular case, I would not get involved. Seems he is a dirty cop and an abuser too. Let it go. She knows how messed up he firsthand so telling might put your life in danger. Ignore him and just move on with your life. So, he didn't get charged for throwing her out of a moving car? Was this reported by citizens as well and make the news?
Lady2163 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I know. I have no idea how he is still a cop, he threw his wife out of a slow moving car when she asked him for a divorce...in front of their 3 children. She wants NOTHING to do with him and took out a protective order, which he violated a few months later. Yeah, that just makes me want to encourage you to protect yourself from him even more. I am almost always not in favor of anyone telling their spouses, usually in the name of self preservation and protecting status quo, but I really do believe you need to protect your husband from this guy as well. Pay the fee, change your number again AND block him. I know it sucks to have to do this, but it is for the best.
Author imbetteroff Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 No, it was not reported. I know he was suspended, had to surrender his badge and gun for a few weeks. He though he was going to lose his job but in the end didn't. I think I'm just going to cancel my phone and ask my cousin (whom he doesn't know) to add me to her family plan for a while. I can't move on until he stops texting me.
Author imbetteroff Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 I meant he threw his ex-wife, not his current wife. I'm pretty sure his current wife is oblivious to all this, in her head she thinks she is lucky to have married such a catch. I don't feel sorry for the current wife because she filed for divorce the same week his divorce became final, so I'm guessing she was having an affair with him long before that, so yeah, just like me, she deserves to be cheated on.
LimeBlue Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I know. I have no idea how he is still a cop, he threw his wife out of a slow moving car when she asked him for a divorce...in front of their 3 children. She wants NOTHING to do with him and took out a protective order, which he violated a few months later. What the what? This alone would be reason enough to totally delete my FB account, go offline in everyway possible, change email address to a random Gmail account (if you need one, these days most things seem to be WhatsApp), and most of all change your phone number and do NOT give it to ANYONE unless they absolutely need it. No way, this guy is pathological.
PutARingOnIt Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 OMG. He is a cop? He can mess your life all the way up. I would just ignore his texts/calls and eventually he will go away. Telling his wife is only going to make things harder for you. Just leave it alone.
Red Wolverine Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 OMG. He is a cop? He can mess your life all the way up. I would just ignore his texts/calls and eventually he will go away. Telling his wife is only going to make things harder for you. Just leave it alone. Don't worry too much about the cop part. If he continues to contact you after you've told him not too, tell him the internal affairs unit of his department will get copies of any further, unwanted contact. The legal line for stalking and harassment is pretty thin once it's been established that contact is not wanted. Cops are not above the law. In fact, the expectation is for them to act better than the rest of society. As it should be.
So happy together Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I know. I have no idea how he is still a cop, he threw his wife out of a slow moving car when she asked him for a divorce...in front of their 3 children. She wants NOTHING to do with him and took out a protective order, which he violated a few months later. Holy frickety frack!!! Listen to these women. Have NOTHING to do with him. Cancel your phone. I hope he doesn't approach you anywhere. Jeebus! I'm worried about you! Oh my gosh. 1
So happy together Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Don't worry too much about the cop part. If he continues to contact you after you've told him not too, tell him the internal affairs unit of his department will get copies of any further, unwanted contact. The legal line for stalking and harassment is pretty thin once it's been established that contact is not wanted. Cops are not above the law. In fact, the expectation is for them to act better than the rest of society. As it should be. Um... you know as well as I do that police protect their own. Esp. if it is a smaller town.
Red Wolverine Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Um... you know as well as I do that police protect their own. Esp. if it is a smaller town. I know more about this than pretty much everyone in this forum. Internal affairs and state Attorney General's Offices will address a cop breaking the law. Bottom line is to end it for your own sake. He's violent,married, and apparently a serial cheater. You can find a loser like that anywhere. 1
Recommended Posts