Is NC they way to go ?

[liliyah]

Break NC or continue? Well me and my ex were together for 4 yrs we Broke up 2 yrs ago but could t live without each other so we got back together , we had a child who is now 2 yrs old , I have children from a previous relationship and he was wonderful to them but from time to time he was very nasty and had no patience with them I put it to stress at work , he would come home and say a quick hello and would sit out side with a few beers completely ignoring me and the kids ( even his own ) it wasn't everyday but it was often it bothered me but instead of talking to him about it I just kept it all in and gave the silent treatment ( bad bad I know ) After my pregnancy I had weight loss surgery he was not supportive at all and even on the day of surgery he was angry at me for some stupid reason ! As my weight came off very fast ( size 22 to a size 8 ) in 6 months he kept on saying that I did the surgery for me and for no one else ! Well of corse I did I need to be healthy for my kids !we just kept fighting about his lack of compassion his anger towards the kids i got concerned because he was drinking 4 beers and a bottle of wine at night ? I told him he had a problem , but he would tell me he was fine so to avoid another fight I just left it , at the end it got to much so we decided to separate not because we didn't love each other but the fighting his drinking was not a good place for the kids , so I found a little house he helped me move made sure I was settled let me keep the car and all the furniture and even paid my first rent , we were good no fighting we would talk every night he would come see us on the weekends , but I noticed that when he would call he was not drunk but happy mode ? All the time , I know he spends his nights drinking , he would tell me that we would work on making this relationship work that he missed me and the kids and that his life had no meaning is I was not part of it ,this conversations became less and less to the point that we were only talking about our son he would call then not call for a a week or so telling me that I should call him but I didn't want to seem clingy then when he would come to my house it felt really awkward it was a simple hi no cuddles at all but at night he would open up and we would act like a real couple but not during the day that confused me ? , a few weeks ago my daughter asked him

 

if he was my boyfriend he said no I'm not , I didn't say a word but I realized that I was living with false hope i thought we were trying so it hurts , so I went NC. Because I felt that he was using me on the weekends and can go to his house during the week and do what he wants without having the hassle of the kids , I work full time and look after my kids alone and when he comes here he complains that he is tied it really annoys me but I stay silent anyway I'm in NC. I think he needs to figure out what he wants am I doing the right thing ? There is more to say but it will be to long ! Thank you

Edited August 14, 2013 by liliyah