UltimaWeapon Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Hey loveshack, Basically what happened is that I would see my ex every week at our COED soccer games and things ended between us 5 months ago because of family issues ( religion) and the fact she claimed she still had feelings for her EX of 3 years who is in another country ( he is out of the picture) She ended up breaking it off wit him and getting with me soon after. It was a really stupid situation for myself to get in..but it lasted around 3 months. I guess it was a rebound?? I have no idea. The problem is that during these next 5 months we would see each other every week almost and I told her if she wasn't willing to fight for us that we have nothing to say to one another. Last Friday, at my final game of the season where I decided I would be leaving the team. We talked and she told me she missed me..she ran away from home and shes been having family issues and that now she is in a really bad spot. She told me if she was to move out she would want us to be together in that sense. I could tell she still had strong feelings for me. She said she would let me kno what happens with her situation. I even asked her if she knew things between us wouldnt work out..why did she start with me? She said she had hope it would be different and work out.. All those feelings I thought left me..all came back that night and I realized I am still very much in love with this girl and i still want her...So i decided im gona fight for it one last time and give it my alll....So i decided to send her a huge letter telling her I was willing to fight for what we had one last time because I was in love wit this girl still. I told her I wanted to be with her and that it was all on her at this point. I also said if she does not want too fight for it.that I would completely disappear from her life. Before i sent the letter i told her That i would really like to see her ASAP to talk about her situation..She told me that she can't now because she is going on vacation with her family for a week but when shes back we could or in september wen school starts..because she is not allowed to go out because of her family situation. I ended up just sending the letter at this point because I couldn't wait..i wanted an answer at least..to know where we stand once and for all... She ended up not replying to it at first..and I really was surprised that she did not say anything. She responded later at night and She told me that she was having a really hard time with her parents and that they had control of her phone and social media. They basically are controlling everything now. since she is back at home..She said that I shouldn't message her and she would reply to me when she could. She said every message I send is only making it worse. ( I dono what she meant by that) She also said she would reply when she has privacy..when she is alone..and when she can..and that she would message me as soon as she could with her answer. Her parents have access to her phone (apperently) and when she is alone..and has privacy she will respond to the text. LOL? " I will reply when i can" Can that be more open ended and vague??! " i want to reply in privacy" I replied I understand your situation but I want to know the answer..you cant expect me to wait..I said I just want a simple yes or no..Do you want to make it work again and meet up or not??..She had no problems telling me before that it couldn't work out so if it was a no now why wouldn't she just tell me??? She is also going on vacation for a week with the family..so how long is she expecting me to wait???? She didn't respond to that text and I haven't made any attempt to reach out for answer. It's been a day now since I texted her that I was willing to give us one more chance and she still hasn't replied. Wtf is this suppose to mean? I feel like an idiot if she cant just tell me straight up? What is she trying to do??
Misfortune Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Hey loveshack, Basically what happened is that I would see my ex every week at our COED soccer games and things ended between us 5 months ago because of family issues ( religion) and the fact she claimed she still had feelings for her EX of 3 years who is in another country ( he is out of the picture) She ended up breaking it off wit him and getting with me soon after. It was a really stupid situation for myself to get in..but it lasted around 3 months. I guess it was a rebound?? I have no idea. The problem is that during these next 5 months we would see each other every week almost and I told her if she wasn't willing to fight for us that we have nothing to say to one another. Last Friday, at my final game of the season where I decided I would be leaving the team. We talked and she told me she missed me..she ran away from home and shes been having family issues and that now she is in a really bad spot. She told me if she was to move out she would want us to be together in that sense. I could tell she still had strong feelings for me. She said she would let me kno what happens with her situation. I even asked her if she knew things between us wouldnt work out..why did she start with me? She said she had hope it would be different and work out.. All those feelings I thought left me..all came back that night and I realized I am still very much in love with this girl and i still want her...So i decided im gona fight for it one last time and give it my alll....So i decided to send her a huge letter telling her I was willing to fight for what we had one last time because I was in love wit this girl still. I told her I wanted to be with her and that it was all on her at this point. I also said if she does not want too fight for it.that I would completely disappear from her life. Before i sent the letter i told her That i would really like to see her ASAP to talk about her situation..She told me that she can't now because she is going on vacation with her family for a week but when shes back we could or in september wen school starts..because she is not allowed to go out because of her family situation. I ended up just sending the letter at this point because I couldn't wait..i wanted an answer at least..to know where we stand once and for all... She ended up not replying to it at first..and I really was surprised that she did not say anything. She responded later at night and She told me that she was having a really hard time with her parents and that they had control of her phone and social media. They basically are controlling everything now. since she is back at home..She said that I shouldn't message her and she would reply to me when she could. She said every message I send is only making it worse. ( I dono what she meant by that) She also said she would reply when she has privacy..when she is alone..and when she can..and that she would message me as soon as she could with her answer. Her parents have access to her phone (apperently) and when she is alone..and has privacy she will respond to the text. LOL? " I will reply when i can" Can that be more open ended and vague??! " i want to reply in privacy" I replied I understand your situation but I want to know the answer..you cant expect me to wait..I said I just want a simple yes or no..Do you want to make it work again and meet up or not??..She had no problems telling me before that it couldn't work out so if it was a no now why wouldn't she just tell me??? She is also going on vacation for a week with the family..so how long is she expecting me to wait???? She didn't respond to that text and I haven't made any attempt to reach out for answer. It's been a day now since I texted her that I was willing to give us one more chance and she still hasn't replied. Wtf is this suppose to mean? I feel like an idiot if she cant just tell me straight up? What is she trying to do?? How old are you guys? Idk what game she's playing at, maybe she plans to use you to escape her current situation. I would stop pressuring her so hard though. Let her be and let things play out naturally. You'll regret it if she feels forced. You're letting your emotions get the best of you.
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 (edited) Why would she just not tell me her answer already? I mean if i put it all out there for her and am willing to fight to make it work. Why can't she give me a straight up answer instead of this vagueness? Is it too much to just ask for a simple yes or no? Edited August 14, 2013 by UltimaWeapon
CC12 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Why would she just not tell me her answer already? I mean if i put it all out there for her and am willing to fight to make it work. Why can't she give me a straight up answer instead of this vagueness? Is it too much to just ask for a simple yes or no? She told you that her family is now controlling everything, and that every message you send is making things worse. That's not some sort of game she's playing with you, she's just trying to survive in a really terrible family situation. Some of your wording implies that you think this is a phony story she's giving you. Do you think she's being dishonest? I'm also wondering why you're okay with continuing to press her for an answer even after she told you she will reply when she can and when she has privacy, and that every message you send is making it worse for her. You still sent another message after that. Are you considering how your actions might affect her negatively? She told you she's not able to give you her answer now, so take it or leave it. If you don't want to wait, then don't wait - end it immediately and be done.
Author UltimaWeapon Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 (edited) I understand her parents have control over everything now but if she could text me at 230 at night to tell me this she could have also given me some sort of answer because what I sent to her was serious and in other words an l all or nothing sort of thing. If she could text me at that time she should have given me an answer. A simple I want us to try again I will talk to you about it when I come back. I think the problem here is I cornered her into a decision and she doesn't know what to do so she is buying time and using her parents as a shield to extend her reply. In all honesty, she is over exaggerating how bad the situation is hands down because she is still posting pictures on Instagram and using twitter to talk to other people and even screen shotted convos with others on it but she can't tell me her answer because she doesn't have privacy?? Common now. I did everything I could but her acting like this just shows me she has no clue what she wants. I don't know how to approach the situation now because I am in limbo where I don't know when or what she will say. Do you see how stupid of a situation it is? Edited August 14, 2013 by UltimaWeapon
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