Rosey03 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year, and have been doing the long distance thing for about 5 months. He moved away to Missouri to live with a friend and get a job after graduating college. I am a junior in college and I still live in our home state and attend our state's University. LDR has had its ups and downs- missing him so much but wonderful visits and lots of Skype I really do love him, and there is NO ONE else i want to be with, we always talk about our future and he is always talking about marriage, kids, family, etc. His job he has now he currently isnt making good money, and always tells me how badly he wants to move home. He just feels like he is a failure if he moves back in with his mom. I know how important it is to him to create his own life and establish/find himself and i will support his decisions, but my question is, Is it wrong for my boyfriend to move back home for me?
Balzac Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Be wary of the word should. Now that I've said that here goes. This is his chance to develop independence and create a resume. One learns valuable skills living alone. He's in an entry position, frequently modest pay. Boomerang back home in under a year I think is selling himself short. I get that you're in love and miss him. Try to respect how much he loses to move back to his mom's. It's not what you need over what he needs. You both need him to have these skills develop. Focus on enjoying your college experience.
keithkat Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I think your boyfriend should move back home because he thinks it is the right thing for him to do so and not just because you asked him to. In this way, he will not resent you later. :-)
FitChick Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 He should only move back if he gets a job paying enough money for him to live on his own or with roommates. 2
CherryT Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Well, he's from your state so I don't think he'll be moving back just for you. I think it would be easier for him to have some support and be around people he knows while he starts building a career and a life for himself. No, I don't think anyone 'should' move for someone. I think there's a lot of things he needs to assess. Does he even want to be in his state? Is he set on where he moved? The first few years after college is always tough because you have to build credibility and it takes time to get into a position where you're starting to make some decent money. Moving back to his home state doesn't make him a failure. He can assess his situation and realize opportunities for him is much better in his home state. If he's able to support himself and live on his own now, he should be able to do when he's back. I'd suggest that he try and look for work in his field before moving back. That way he doesn't have to move back in with his mom.
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