Confused1974 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I met this girl on match about 4 months ago. We texted and talked on the phone for the next month and met up for dinner about a month ago. We hit it off pretty well and said goodnight after a few hours. We met at the restaurant and there was a hug at the end of the date. A few IOI but not enough to warrant a kiss. She texted me soon after saying she had a nice time and I suggested we meet up again. It was another month till we saw each other again because she had plans,which she told me about the following few weeks. We kept in contact via text while she was gone and she always added smileys or winks at the end of her texts. We could go a couple- few days without texting so neither of us were being needy/desperate. I saw her a week ago and went to her house where we talked for an hour. I do not drink at all and am actively in a twelve step program and she knows this as I was open with her about it. She drank a glass of wine when we first met which I have no problem with however this time she drank a few glasses of wine and was noticeably tipsy which made me uncomfortable( she did not know this at the time) We walked to a restaurant and had dinner, lots of IOI and when we were headed back to her house she wished me a good night. I could have kissed her( I think) but I was a bit taken back that she was intoxicated. I called her the next day and explained how I felt and she apologized.From the time of our first date till the night of our last date( roughly a month) she had not logged onto match but she has been on every night the past week- we never spoke about not getting on match,she just stopped getting on and I no longer have a subscription.Our third date tonight we cancelled because of rain- I asked for a date on Thursday but she has plans and then for Saturday and she has plans. Do you think she has lost interest- should I go no contactable see what happens. I am the one always setting the date. She had rescheduled twice for our second date.
Kizza Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Perhaps try not initiating the contact and see if she initiates, however I hate to say it seems this is not a match and you will not hear from her again. The fact she drank and got tipsy is an immediate indicator that she is exhibiting to you that you are not on the same path or she does not like you enough to not drink. Either or ...the result is the same. She is just not that in to you. try no contact and see how it goes 3
ebor Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 On to the next one... Don't think she is interested and definitely no contact 1
New User Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 You two don't sound compatible. Especially a twelve-stepper dating a drinker. I'm not in any kind of program, but that seems to be an insurmountable obstacle. Good luck.
BradJacobs Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I do not drink at all and am actively in a twelve step program and she knows this as I was open with her about it. She drank a glass of wine when we first met which I have no problem with however this time she drank a few glasses of wine and was noticeably tipsy which made me uncomfortable( she did not know this at the time) I could have kissed her( I think) but I was a bit taken back that she was intoxicated. I called her the next day and explained how I felt and she apologized. First, congratulations on taking care of yourself. Second, just because you have problems and things that make you uncomfortable doesn't mean everyone needs to do things your way. If you did this to me I'd feel judged and not want to see you again. I don't think you two are compatible and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you shouldn't date drinkers until you're done with your 12 steps.
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