Makingadifference Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Hi, I'm new to forums but I wanted to share my experience see if others have and offer help as well at the end of the post. Ok, I was with someone for 9 years. Last month I found out I was being cheated on almost the entire time! I left immediately when I found out. Here's the short of it. It's been hard for me to find someone that I could actually believe truly loved me because of how people are about money. I am well off. If I accomplished that, I also had to find someone to be ok with me being gone for work a total of 3 mths a year spread out and that I couldn't discuss details about certain things because I'm a network and communications security advisor. Well, for 9 years I thought I had a perfect life but recently found out I was constantly being cheated on. I never invaded privacy of people close to me. When I found out, she and one of my closest friends made a plan to take alot from me. Other people I know knew about alot and instead of telling me, some of them did the same in a smaller capacity. I feel like I have lost trust in people. And don't want to carry this with me to future friendships or relationships, I'm devistated, lost my fiancé, friends, I'm sad and don't feel like myself at all and don't want to speak really with anyone right now because I don't know who else to trust. How have you overcome the feelings and not carried this with you after? Nine years is a long time. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. If you think this is happening like texts, call logs, pictures, computer or everything's deleted I can tell you how if you can message people here. I was great to everyone around me and couldn't imagine this happening if we were married, shared a house and had kids. Share
Misfortune Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Hi, I'm new to forums but I wanted to share my experience see if others have and offer help as well at the end of the post. Ok, I was with someone for 9 years. Last month I found out I was being cheated on almost the entire time! I left immediately when I found out. Here's the short of it. It's been hard for me to find someone that I could actually believe truly loved me because of how people are about money. I am well off. If I accomplished that, I also had to find someone to be ok with me being gone for work a total of 3 mths a year spread out and that I couldn't discuss details about certain things because I'm a network and communications security advisor. Well, for 9 years I thought I had a perfect life but recently found out I was constantly being cheated on. I never invaded privacy of people close to me. When I found out, she and one of my closest friends made a plan to take alot from me. Other people I know knew about alot and instead of telling me, some of them did the same in a smaller capacity. I feel like I have lost trust in people. And don't want to carry this with me to future friendships or relationships, I'm devistated, lost my fiancé, friends, I'm sad and don't feel like myself at all and don't want to speak really with anyone right now because I don't know who else to trust. How have you overcome the feelings and not carried this with you after? Nine years is a long time. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. If you think this is happening like texts, call logs, pictures, computer or everything's deleted I can tell you how if you can message people here. I was great to everyone around me and couldn't imagine this happening if we were married, shared a house and had kids. Share Sorry for what you've been through. Unfortunately, Today's world is overflowing with greed and fickleness. It's difficult to not let your experiences, especially bad ones, affect your future. I would suggest counseling and taking time to yourself before pursuing another relationship. 10 years is a lot to get over and come to terms with. How did you find out? You never suspected anything during the relationship? 1
Author Makingadifference Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Never had a clue. Had one argument the whole time. Nothing ever surfaced and gave me a bad feeling. He would always take his phone everywhere even during a shower it was with him. I noticed I never heard it ring before. Ever. It was always on silent. I plugged it in to something I have while he was in the pool one day and extracted everything since he had the phone and the one he used previously that was in the closet. I felt terrible about it but I found out what I needed to know I guess.
Misfortune Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Never had a clue. Had one argument the whole time. Nothing ever surfaced and gave me a bad feeling. He would always take his phone everywhere even during a shower it was with him. I noticed I never heard it ring before. Ever. It was always on silent. I plugged it in to something I have while he was in the pool one day and extracted everything since he had the phone and the one he used previously that was in the closet. I felt terrible about it but I found out what I needed to know I guess. You did what you had to. Can't be a more terrible feeling than finding out what you've found out. People being glued to their gadgets is quite suspicious anyways, you wouldn't have had reason to snoop had he not did things to give you that inclination. Not like any of your "friends" would've told you, right? I'm guessing you confronted him. How was that?
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