seahawker64 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 So as I've posted before I consider myself to be doing very, very well. Sometimes things come back and sting out of the blue but I've been getting on with life the best I can. Today I had a major test. I was walking in a store and she was walking out. I usually scan for her car before I enter any stores in the area to avoid having to see her but I didn't see her car so I thought all was good.It was not. I started to walk right by her and was not going to say a word until she said "are you not even going to say Hello?" I kinda stumbled but immediately thought I'm going to be cordial and polite. There was no reason for anything else. So stopped and said "Hello" immediately got that knot in my stomach and my legs felt like rubber. I did not expect that at all so it kinds took me by surprise. What I thought would be a quick 60 second "Hello" how are you? turned into a 1 and 1/2 hour discussion about all things us. Very forthright and honest with each other. I learned a couple of things about her and what she felt that I did not know before. While it didn't feel great to know ( hurt like hell actually ) I'm glad she told me. We may or may not end up getting together again but I would guess not since I'm not initiating anything. She is very confused about us, thinks about me daily but at this point there very well could be too much water under the bridge to gap. So, I guess my lesson today was it still hurts and it's still raw 6 months later but we walked away today on good terms, 3 giant hugs, some truthful words, some sadness and some relief about some other issues we had. It's definitly better to have it end if this is really the end on a high note or at least a friendly and caring note than the initial anger of feelings of betrayal I felt in the beginning. I will always love that Woman like I have for the last 28 years but I realize now it's probably going to be from distance unless she decides to spend time together again as we talked about today. In the mean time all I can do is keep pushing forward and healing everyday.
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Big hug, 28 years can't be easy to forget.
Author seahawker64 Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Big hug, 28 years can't be easy to forget. Thank you! I should clarify. It was not 28 years straight together but in the end we always found our way back to each other thru the years. There were marriages, death's, and divorces but as I said somehow we always found our way back. That had to have meant something.
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 That makes it even more incredible - and harder. Today was a major test but you passed it. Try not to think about possibly getting back with her - it must be hard if it's happened in the past. Keep healing!
Author seahawker64 Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 That makes it even more incredible - and harder. Today was a major test but you passed it. Try not to think about possibly getting back with her - it must be hard if it's happened in the past. Keep healing! [/quote It's very hard. We left it open today whether we see each other again or not. I would have to say we probably won't but I've thought that in the past too. She has alot too think about in regards to us so I'm sticking to what I'm doing. Can't say I'm not feeling sad after today because I am. Life rolls on though so all I can do is do what I'm currently doing. I'm not really sure what that is....hahahahaha.
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