Wambo Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 A few years ago I had a rough time at work when I was placed in a difficult situation. A co worker was interested in me but at the sametime she had an on off boyfriend who also worked in the same building. He mistreated her, bad mouthed her and trying to control her. I knew I couldn't have a relationship with her with him about and I turned down her advances. Things became tense between us, we got upset with each other and it made our work environment very awkward. Her boyfriend did leave her when he moved to a different city and it took us many months for the dusts to settle for us to have a good friendship. During that period was very messy and because I was young I didn't handle the situation very well. So I now officially back in this situation with my former EA partner. This is why I attempted LC to aviod another situation like I had a few years ago. Sadly LC didn't work in my situation and I went back into NC. In a way I'm lucky because I'd experienced this situation before and I learned from my previous mistakes. However being harrassed by a mistreated girl is minor compared to a platonic friendship turned into EA. Even if my current situation is far worst, I'm handling the crisis a lot better and things aren't so messy. The problem is I don't think my AP had experienced this before? The scale of a platonic friendship turned EA and then NC is huge. Anyone in this situation will go through hell and how would the affair partners cope if they see each other every working day? It's a tough situation but I'm lucky enough to be able to aviod her. However she seemed to developed a sixth sense and able to spot me whenever I either enter her area or going for my break. Where before in LC it gave me liberties to be in line of sight but now in NC I need to be more careful. I need to make situation as comfortable as possible for her, not only to keep her relax but not to expose our situation aswell. It just one situation to another.
Feb Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I don't have any great advice for you here, other than you are not alone. Pierre has mentioned how easy it is to end up in an A with a co-worker. I wish it were that easy to unwind from the situation. I ended up quitting my job and getting a new one. I had 18+ years with the company and many friendships, and a good reputation that I worked for almost two decades to earn, but with an A that's the price you pay for getting yourself into this mess. Everytime I heard his voice, saw his name in email, or had to sit on a call or meeting with him, it was a knife in the heart. I couldn't heal or move on with him being on the same floor for 8+ hours a day. My A at work wasn't exposed, but in retrospect I'm sure my co-workers caught onto somehting, even if we think we hid it well. It's not impossible to move on and still work with each other, but it does slow the healing process and the awkwardness will always be there. I hope you have enough sense now to never get involved with another committed partner again, and certainly not a co-worker! I know after my A, I have an invisible fence around me ... no co-worker will ever get that close to me again, I can guarantee that. 1
Author Wambo Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 At the moment my work situation doesn't appear to be too bad because there is NO REASON why I need to contact her. This may change if she feels to move to a different department but at the moment it's working in my favour. My only problem is if we accidently take our breaks at the sametime and I do shake when we both in the cantine. So I need to be extra careful and make sure our breaks don't clash. My biggest concern is her and how she is doing in our situation. She's in a flawed relationship? and may not be getting the help she need. Unlike me I had a near complete transformation and awaken to my reality of my situation. There is a possibility she may crack over the strain of her situation and so I need to make myself as invisible as possible to ease the pain. However saying that i don't know what going on in her situation but I'm not noticing no chemistry when she was with her boyfriend.
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