Any men have a wife that actually compromises?

[M30USA]

I'm just trying to figure out if any of you married men can actually say that your wife knows how to compromise and, more importantly, doesn't have to be right. Before I bother getting back into the dating scene, I want to know if it's just a given that women behave this way--because if it is then I'm permanantly done with relationships. I'd sooner put a chain around my neck and sign up for indentured servanthood.

[KungFuJoe]

I'm just trying to figure out if any of you married men can actually say that your wife knows how to compromise and, more importantly, doesn't have to be right. Before I bother getting back into the dating scene, I want to know if it's just a given that women behave this way--because if it is then I'm permanantly done with relationships. I'd sooner put a chain around my neck and sign up for indentured servanthood.

 

Not a single woman on this planet of 6 billion people, over half of which are female, compromise.

 

Not a single one.

 

Ever.

 

Ever.

 

Ever.

[DaisyLeigh1967]

Compromise on what, exactly?

 

I have compromised plenty in my marriage. I have moved where he wanted, been around his asshat family because he wanted to, bought **** he wanted even if I didn't fully agree, gone to restaurants and other places I did not wish to go to for him. I have put up with his male pms, ****ty attitude and him being a lazy ass from time to time.

 

And he has put up with me. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be.

 

If you could be more specific that might help.

[Els]

Honestly, regardless of any answers you receive here, I think most people who have read your posts would concur that you aren't in any state to be starting a relationship now.

 

How are you going with therapy?

[HokeyReligions]

My husband has a wife who learned how and does compromise.

[M30USA]

Honestly, regardless of any answers you receive here, I think most people who have read your posts would concur that you aren't in any state to be starting a relationship now.

 

How are you going with therapy?

 

That's not what my therapist said. Thanks. And my therapy is over because he, as a professional, said I've made great progress and he believes I'm ready for a relationship. I'll trust his assessment. You don't know me. You have only heard a few isolated views. If you expressed yourself as much as I did on these forums, I'm sure you'd get ripped apart too. Peace brother.

[CarrieT]

My husband has a wife who learned how and does compromise.

 

And my fiance has found someone who knows how to compromise.

[Els]

I sincerely question how ready you truly are, if you actually feel the need to come here and ask if ANY woman out of the billions in the world would EVER compromise in a relationship... and talk about indentured servanthood in the same breath. Your threads strike me as being the younger companion of Woggle's.

 

But, that is your prerogative, and your therapist's, to decide. All the best.

[anne1707]

That's not what my therapist said. Thanks. And my therapy is over because he, as a professional, said I've made great progress and he believes I'm ready for a relationship. I'll trust his assessment. You don't know me. You have only heard a few isolated views. If you expressed yourself as much as I did on these forums, I'm sure you'd get ripped apart too. Peace brother.

 

Elswyth does express herself very well on this site and comes across as someone who is happy, healthy, loving and well-balanced.

[Silly_Girl]

I'm just trying to figure out if any of you married men can actually say that your wife knows how to compromise and, more importantly, doesn't have to be right. Before I bother getting back into the dating scene, I want to know if it's just a given that women behave this way--because if it is then I'm permanantly done with relationships. I'd sooner put a chain around my neck and sign up for indentured servanthood.

 

There's ruddy *loads* of us

 

Your attitude is not conducive to that happening though. Don't expect too much until you're able to be more positive and open.

[M30USA]

There's ruddy *loads* of us

 

Your attitude is not conducive to that happening though. Don't expect too much until you're able to be more positive and open.

 

I tried being open-minded and my brain almost fell out.

 

Now it's back to being old narrow-minded M30 who believes in UFOs. And my brain is staying in place great now.

 

I'm doin alright, comin along just fine. Hey, great genius matures late, right?

[xxoo]

Of course women can compromise. Some individuals-male and female--struggle with compromise, but it is far from a woman issue. Many women (and men) compromise way too much.

 

It shouldn't be difficult to screen for this type of relationship skill in the first year of a relationship. Did you therapist give you some tips about what kinds of red flags you may have overlooked when dating your wife?

[M30USA]

Of course women can compromise. Some individuals-male and female--struggle with compromise, but it is far from a woman issue. Many women (and men) compromise way too much.

 

It shouldn't be difficult to screen for this type of relationship skill in the first year of a relationship. Did you therapist give you some tips about what kinds of red flags you may have overlooked when dating your wife?

 

Yes he did give me red flags to look at. It didn't help that I met my ex over the internet and she lived 3000 miles away. It made it easier for her to hide her true identity. I'm not sure if I was just younger and more naïve at that time, or if it was the online distance, or maybe both together...but hopefully I'm wiser the next time.

[johan]

My girlfriend and I worked out a deal in our relationship that has her doing pretty much all the compromising. I really can't imagine I could ever be happier with someone else.

[M30USA]

My girlfriend and I worked out a deal in our relationship that has her doing pretty much all the compromising. I really can't imagine I could ever be happier with someone else.

 

Where'd you find her, the planet Venus?

[Nyla]

My husband has a wife who learned how and does compromise.

 

Mine does too! Guess we must be the only ones in the whole world!

 

Some some men just want women who put up and shut up. For these types, it is fine for them to be right all the time but not for women.

[quankanne]

you're never going to find your ideal mate – one who doesn't play games, who understands the value of compromise in a relationship, who respects you – if you keep talking about finding her, but chase after women who are bad for you.

 

yes, there are women out there like us, but we are only successful in our relationships because we have found men who have similar values!

[pie2]

Where'd you find her, the planet Venus?

 

I think she's of the blowup variety.

 

[M30USA]

I think she's of the blowup variety.

 

 

I have 2 different interpretations of that:

 

1) Blowup as in freak out, pitch a fit.

 

2) Blowup as in not real, plastic like a blowup doll.

[pie2]

I have 2 different interpretations of that:

 

1) Blowup as in freak out, pitch a fit.

 

2) Blowup as in not real, plastic like a blowup doll.

 

A woman who does "pretty much all the compromising"...my first thought was option 2. :p:D

 

My girlfriend and I worked out a deal in our relationship that has her doing pretty much all the compromising. I really can't imagine I could ever be happier with someone else.

[M30USA]

A woman who does "pretty much all the compromising"...my first thought was option 2. :p:D

 

Well, honestly, you know that it's extremely common to see a whipped, servile husband who takes orders from his wife (most American marriages are this way), yet it's RARE to see a woman taking orders from her husband. Women often pride themselves by saying, "If he thinks I'm submitting to him, he's got another thing coming, sister." (Snaps finger.) Yet a "good husband" is one who does this very thing!

 

You can't deny I'm right on this.

[CarrieT]

You can't deny I'm right on this.

Of course we can. And until you believe that a relationship is a two-sided coin where BOTH PARTIES compromise, you are destined to be alone.

 

Well, honestly, you know that it's extremely common to see a whipped, servile husband who takes orders from his wife (most American marriages are this way)

Again, if you believe "most American marriages are this way," you are nailing your own coffin of singledom.

 

yet it's RARE to see a woman taking orders from her husband.

Why should they? Why should any person (note: not woman! not man!) TAKE ORDERS from anybody -- other than an enlisted person taking orders from an officer...

[pie2]

Well, honestly, you know that it's extremely common to see a whipped, servile husband who takes orders from his wife (most American marriages are this way), yet it's RARE to see a woman taking orders from her husband. Women often pride themselves by saying, "If he thinks I'm submitting to him, he's got another thing coming, sister." (Snaps finger.) Yet a "good husband" is one who does this very thing!

 

You can't deny I'm right on this.

 

"Taking orders" is not a part of compromise.

[Nyla]

I don't mind submitting to my husband because he does not order me around or treat me like a second class citizen.

 

For example, last Friday I went out with one of my best friends. The following day, another friend asked me to meet with her for drinks. I mentioned this to my husband and he said "You went out last night baby. It is the weekend and I would like to spend some time with my wife." He then took me into his arms and kissed me passionately. How could I say no to that? My husband wasn't being a controlling jackhole or forbidding me to go out like I was his child. He just calmly stated his needs and it was my choice to make.

 

Spouses should submit to each other. My husband and I will go out shopping for clothing. If he tries on an outfit that I feel doesn't flatter his body, I will voice my opinion and my husband will often listen to my advice. I do the same for him.

[M30USA]

Sorry. The fact that you can even ask this question bodes ill for your prospects with women. Why don't you go back to your therapist with this and see what he says.

 

Seriously, going into something with negative expectations based on gender -based on one experience in your life, for which you have yet to take one iota of personal responsibility - is doomed.

 

Women, just like men, come with all varieties of strengths and weaknesses.

 

 

You are being obtuse. Sorry but people use gender generalizations all the time--whether by saying that most domestic violence is perpetrated by men, or that most college graduates are women, or that women are more nurturing. I will exercise my right to make observations like anyone else, thanks.

 

If I can't express observed generalizations like this, then you have tied your own hands because you've lost the right to make any generalizations or classifications of anything in life--whether it's the fact that societies in the past tended to be patriarchal, or that women have been "second class citizens". Let's not generalize, eh? Let's look at people as individual cases, eh?

Edited August 14, 2013 by M30USA