everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Are the mods asleep today or what? He's gone . Thank you Admins!
danlightbulb Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I don't mind initiating, as long as its met with some enthusiasm and reciprocated energy from the other side. However I hate indecision, so if the girl is very non-committal to anything this would get on my wick pretty quick. I couldn't deal with a girl who is so passive that I didn't get any feedback or know where I really stood, it would send me insane trying to work out what was going on.
Scrab22 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 If I want a chase, then I want it mutual. I want the other side to chase me back, not me having to be the chaser all the time. It's really annoying, pointless and unfriendly. 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 It varies but most likely don't. It's cute when you're 16-17. I'm 25 now and can't be bothered to chase. And being one with options, the one who thinks I'm going to chase is going to lose out.
joystickd Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 How come women don't chase? Why force men to be obligated to an obsolete societal norm? Times are different and it's time women do some chasing. 1
hppr Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 How come women don't chase? Why force men to be obligated to an obsolete societal norm? Times are different and it's time women do some chasing. They're afraid of rejection. It's easier to sit back and just say "well he wasn't the one" rather than pursuing a guy and having it not work out. Plus women value ambition and confidence, they find those qualities sexy, so a guy who is more bold can be a bit of a turn on. 1
joystickd Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 They're afraid of rejection. It's easier to sit back and just say "well he wasn't the one" rather than pursuing a guy and having it not work out. Plus women value ambition and confidence, they find those qualities sexy, so a guy who is more bold can be a bit of a turn on. I agree with being bold but these same qualities can be demonstrated in other ways and not by the chase. Usually the women that talk about the chase complain about the quality of guys that chase them. If they want better then they may need to be more proactive. Hell we live in a time of equality. It's hypocritical on some level to want equality but still hold on to an obsolete ideal such as men being the initiators which in a way places a societal obligation on men which is not good and created this reality that women are entitled not to be proactive in their dating Most humans are afraid of rejection and it's better to get out here and get over it. 2
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Luckily, I don't date passive women so I don't have this problem. 1
joystickd Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 We're taught from a very young age that "nice" girls don't chase after boys, and that it's inherent in a man's nature to chase and hunt. I've always found that the men who were most interested in me pursued. The ones I chased, were lukewarm about me and sent a ton of mixed signals. And yeah - I do like a man with drive who goes after what he wants. You want to have all the sex you want and not be judged for it like men but don't want to chase. Kind of a one sided deal. I do a mixture of both. Majority of the time I meet women that are aggressors. The times I do chase I get rejected or it's some crazy situation with that woman. It's funny how that works out. It's hypocritical to want to pick and chose what aspect you want to be equal with men 1
joystickd Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 The ones I chased, were lukewarm about me and sent a ton of mixed signals. You got a taste of what men go through regularly and decided not to continue. Imagine the crap men get if they made that choice. 1
Pisces13 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I don't like "the chase", it's just stupid if you ask me. I'm a very straight forward, black and white person. If I like you and you like me, then let's be together, I don't see the need to play around. Me personally, I would more than likely interpret "the chase" as "she isn't interested".
soccerrprp Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I, personally, think the whole chasing BS is just that.....BS. 2
ThaWholigan Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 How come women don't chase? Why force men to be obligated to an obsolete societal norm? Times are different and it's time women do some chasing. Actually, in my experience they absolutely do
joystickd Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Actually, in my experience they absolutely do They do but you have to challenge these women with obsolete thoughts that males must always be the aggressors especially when they talk about others aspect of dating/relationships they want to change. It's all or nothing because it's unfair to pick and choose
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Actually, in my experience they absolutely do They certainly chase me.
ChatroomHero Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I've always found that the men who were most interested in me pursued. The ones I chased, were lukewarm about me and sent a ton of mixed signals. And yeah - I do like a man with drive who goes after what he wants. Like someone said earlier, that is exactly what men go through and why we don't care much for the chase. The difference is we go through it hundreds of time because the burden is on us and we just have to accept it. But I would bet there are a few women that I could have had a really good relationship with but without an indication of interest it seems like complete disinterest and a waste of time.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 In my experience men don't mind "chasing" as long as the woman is receptive and encouraging to his advances. It's silly to play games like waiting forever to text/call back, pretend you're busy when you're not or cancel last-minute plans. With that said, in the beginning I do let the man initiate most of the contact and dates. Yup, this. When you initiate or chase enough times and your efforts come up short, you start to second guess things a lot and then you stop chasing or wanting to chase. Because you figure, "why bother it's just a waste of time". 4
joystickd Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Yup, this. When you initiate or chase enough times and your efforts come up short, you start to second guess things a lot and then you stop chasing or wanting to chase. Because you figure, "why bother it's just a waste of time". Enough rejections you will think it. The thing is though if you do the right things they come to you. No matter what these women say on here women do chase and love it 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Enough rejections you will think it. The thing is though if you do the right things they come to you. No matter what these women say on here women do chase and love it Well, I'd need a very thorough course to help me figure out how to tell if they're chasing or interested. Because I'm totally lost at the moment.
joystickd Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Well, I'd need a very thorough course to help me figure out how to tell if they're chasing or interested. Because I'm totally lost at the moment. You know women think it's wrong for men to have a thorough course on dating because it's manipulative and makes you only after one thing lol 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 You know women think it's wrong for men to have a thorough course on dating because it's manipulative and makes you only after one thing lol Well, you know what one thing I'm really after?: a cool girl to go with me to this baseball game I have an extra ticket for. My eternal struggle.
RogerWallace111 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I basically want a girl to convey enough interest for me to go off of but not come across as needy. And it's not a particularly thin line, there's plenty of middle ground. If she wants to call/text me she should call/text me- it's only when her contact seems more like a symptom of insecurity/boredom than reasonable/genuine interest that I'm put off. In the end, it's the girl and her mind/body I'm attracted to, not the feeling of being challenged or lack thereof. It's like artists pricing their art really high in hopes of kind of imbuing them with that value. If the piece is sh*tty, the piece is sh*tty. The fact that it would require a lot of work to be able to afford it doesn't change that. It's funny how much of a person's "desirability" can be derived from things aside from them themself. Just because the tacky model-looking hoe at Starbucks has a bitchy sneer on her face that suggests she'd be stuck up and hard to get through to doesn't mean she's not useless. I'd much rather have an awesome girl throw herself at me than get caught up in games with some uncool chick just because she's trying to feign some higher level of "value". Luckily the best women naturally fall somewhere in the middle. 2
joystickd Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Ha really? My dude pursued me HARD and landed himself a girlfriend. You see the crap PUA gets on here.
KungFuJoe Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Ha really? My dude pursued me HARD and landed himself a girlfriend. Maybe it would help if you elaborated on what exactly your bf had to do to land you? Some people might say it sounds like your man had to successfully traverse the pit of death while carrying a boulder on his back in order to get a date with you.
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