Think too much Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 My ex broke it off with me in the mid of July. 1 1/2 year relationship and he ended it by text messaging then ignored me for a few weeks. After two weeks of begging him to explain what went wrong.. he left me a message telling me how sorry he was and even though he didn't want to get back together he would talk to me and help me through it all. So he started to email me throughout the day and answer a few questions here and there. His answers never really helped. They didn't add up or make sense. He wouldn't talk to me over the phone. He wouldn't see me. I just wanted to understand why he just upped and left. I knew it was over... I just wanted to understand why my life and future was now in shambles. I later found out that he had met someone new and was too big of a coward to tell me. He lives next door. I see his gf car over there every night. We have had no contact since September. My birthday came and went never heard a thing from him. I am very bitter and angry. I don't want to be angry. I just want to be happy and live a normal live again. I want to get over this. I just can't seem to get over this. I have always had a low self esteem but now it has hit rock bottom. He had promised me the world. He promised that he would be there for me forever. My trust for people has been crushed forever. I know I could find someone new if I wanted but I don't want to hurt this much ever again. I don't want to put myself in that position again. I have stayed busy and tried to keep him out of my mind. I was having a great night last night until I was leaving my house backing out of the driveway and saw him running out of his house to greet his gf. She just pulled in the driveway. I didn't know or I would have waited to leave. As soon as I pulled out of the neighborhood I had to pull over because I was crying so bad. I know it would be easier to on me if I moved but I own my home and it's a a lot of work to try to find somewhere else to live and sell my home. Sorry for the long explanation... I just needed a shoulder to cry on.
Fuzzymuzzy Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 If I were you I would do what I have been doing. Try your best not to focus on this guy and your relationship with him. I would try and find a hobby maybe jogging or working out. Myself I go to the gym when I bummed and pump weights as hard and as long as I can stand. It helps to get the fruatration out but it also focuses that energy instead of just turning it into sadness. I hope things get better for you. It sounds like the guy is a little puss and why you would want to be with him I have no idea. And I know from experience that its harder to move on personally when the person you wwere with and cared for has allready moved on. And I'm sure that living next door doesn't hellp. Just try to focus that bummed energy and turn it into positive energy. Easier said than done but I will pray for you.
FreeMe Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 Oh, that must be so hard with him living right next door. I think that's worse than having it end when you work together. I would focus on the negative things about him whenever I started to get upset - like that he's a coward, and a liar, and is completely inconsiderate of your feelings. I'm sure you can come up with more. I find it easier to deal with anger than to deal with hurt. And you have plenty to be angry about. When you feel it, find an outlet for it, get past it for that day or that hour or whatever, and then try to focus on all the good things about yourself. Do things to make yourself feel good. Pamper yourself. You have to take care of you. Try to focus on taking care of yourself and do things that make you happy.
krbshappy71 Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 I know it is a lot of work to up and sell, but if you are not emotionally attached to your house, perhaps this would be best. I live in the same town as an ex-fiancee and yes its hard, we aren't even next door and I would find each accidental meeting to bring back old issues. I cannot imagine how it feels to be next door to it. If you think you can hang in there, stay in the house and keep doing what you are doing. Stay busy. Perhaps date casually for a bit, just to get back into the swing of things, once your attentions are on someone new (even if it is only a casual coffee or movie date) you will realize you notice less and less his comings and goings.
Author Think too much Posted November 5, 2004 Author Posted November 5, 2004 Thank you for the encouragement. I really need it. I must admit it is a little easier than it was a few months ago. My emotions are still on a roller-coaster. I can't wait until I can wake up and make it through an entire day and not have thoughts or reminders of him. I have had break-ups before but I have never had such a hard time coping. I was engaged once and the man left for business and cheated on me. I was hurt but I coped with it. It did not affect my life the way this one has. I don't understand why. I think it is because of the emotional games he played. He knew I had been hurt before and I had a hard time trusting. He worked pretty hard to earn my trust... then after he had it he threw it in my face. I hate him. I truly do not want to be with him again. I just don't want my heart to be broken anymore. I don't want to feel used anymore. I blame myself for letting him in. I blame myself for trusting again. I blame myself for loving him so much. That is what hurts the most.
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