counterman Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I met this girl last week and I had a 2nd date with her recently. I thought things went well, there were some silences but that was expected. We had quite a few laughs as well. I am attracted to her, she's funny and I like how she is carefree and fun. We kissed twice during the date... However, I'm not so sure how I feel... I haven't been in a relationship for a while (approximately 5 years). When we kissed, I didn't get that same feeling I use to get when I was with my ex. I thought maybe it was due to my nerves, my stress (due to my university work) or because I was simply tired (the date was at night and I had a long day). When I kissed her again, it was the same... I like this girl, but my feelings inside, I'm unsure of... What does this mean? Has this ever happened to you before?
crederer Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 You're over thinking it and comparing her to your ex. I'd never end a relationship in the early stages for a reason like that. Maybe if there were behavioural issues, yes then I'd end it, but not because she can't kiss as good as your ex, or you don't yet feel the sparks. If you go into it a little more open minded and stop thinking of your ex and just relax these types of things will improve. Been there myself bud. No if you go out for quite a while and still feel the same then maybe it's just not meant to be.
SoleMate Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Every r/s or potential r/s is different. Sounds like you may have kissed her just sort of to check off the box. I would advise not kissing until one or both of you has an overwhelming urge to kiss, and then I think it would have to feel good.
rocketman122 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 if its you not feeling it, keep going to a few more dates. you may lose a good thing only because youre comparing her to your ex. I did that a few times and im certain one of them had potential. dont give up so quickly.
Author counterman Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Crederer, I don't want to end it... I enjoy her company, she's a wonderful girl. As far as I know, she doesn't have any behavioral issues. And I think she kisses fine, it was just inside I didn't feel that crazy feeling I had before. I don't want to think of my ex (it was so long ago damn it!), she treated me pretty badly. You are right, I have to relax more, I stressed out too much in preparing the date and whatnot. SoleMate, I agree. It would have been better to kiss when we both had that overwhelming feeling. I'm not sure if she felt the same as me... rocketman122, I'll keep going because I don't want to lose what seems like a good thing. She seems like a wonderful girl. So, I'll keep trying; I've already set up a date for next week. Also, I'm not sure if she's feeling the same as well I should say that I don't think it's her, it may be me... I just have this empty sort of feeling inside, nothing is exciting me at the moment
Author counterman Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Has anyone not felt that chemistry or spark feeling after the first couple of dates and then later it has developed?
rocketman122 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Has anyone not felt that chemistry or spark feeling after the first couple of dates and then later it has developed? no. it either happened or I didnt continue but usually it was because the person didnt look like the picture and I wasnt attracted to them.
Author counterman Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 no. it either happened or I didnt continue but usually it was because the person didnt look like the picture and I wasnt attracted to them. Those angles can really be misleading
Babolat Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Has anyone not felt that chemistry or spark feeling after the first couple of dates and then later it has developed? First date with my last gf was an OK date. Very attracted to her, great conversation, wasn't my best 1st date ever... so I asked her out again. 2nd date, wow, I am surprised everyone on LS did not see the fireworks in the sky! After a couple of hours we had a very soft, gentle kiss and man, I tell you I got goose bumps, and so did she. The kissing continued with some touching/caressing. So yeah, I woudl give it a least one more date, and don't put pressure on yourself to "feel" anything. Just relax and go with it. And don't compare her to your ex.
Author counterman Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 First date with my last gf was an OK date. Very attracted to her, great conversation, wasn't my best 1st date ever... so I asked her out again. 2nd date, wow, I am surprised everyone on LS did not see the fireworks in the sky! After a couple of hours we had a very soft, gentle kiss and man, I tell you I got goose bumps, and so did she. The kissing continued with some touching/caressing. So yeah, I woudl give it a least one more date, and don't put pressure on yourself to "feel" anything. Just relax and go with it. And don't compare her to your ex. Thanks for sharing that. I will try to relax and just enjoy her company. Definitely will not compare her to my ex. On another note, LSers, do you find that stress due to your work or studies affect your dating life? At the moment, I am so stressed out and am finding little enjoying in anything
Leigh 87 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 There is a girl out there who will lift you up during the stressful times. I have met guys where they were stressed and they forgot to find much enjoyment in life; I happened to be a girl that re ignited their excitement within the first date, right away. There are truly some girls out there you will come across they are just uplifting, fun people who you also happen to be attracted to and feel the spark for. It is rare but you will find it. I would not lead this girl on further. Trust me, there are guys who she will make feel that way and you're not him. Let her find a guy who is excited about her and you too, go find a girl who excites you. 1
dbrown Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 I think , you have been with this girl for a week only. Give yourself some time. If you like a girl, then there is no problem of such things . Be confident about your liking and try to spend more and more time with the girl so that you can know her more and can easily decide what you want to do.
Author counterman Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 There is a girl out there who will lift you up during the stressful times. I have met guys where they were stressed and they forgot to find much enjoyment in life; I happened to be a girl that re ignited their excitement within the first date, right away. There are truly some girls out there you will come across they are just uplifting, fun people who you also happen to be attracted to and feel the spark for. It is rare but you will find it. I would not lead this girl on further. Trust me, there are guys who she will make feel that way and you're not him. Let her find a guy who is excited about her and you too, go find a girl who excites you. That's the thing, I think it's just me. It's not just with girls, it's with anything really. My mind is always bogged down with work and thinking too much ahead. I like how you have had that effect on guys and ignited excitement in their lives when they were stressed. Have you ever not had this effect on guys? I agree though, I don't want to lead her on but I also don't want to give up too soon. I'm not sure whether she is really excited about me, how would I be able to tell? We've only been on two dates I think , you have been with this girl for a week only. Give yourself some time. If you like a girl, then there is no problem of such things . Be confident about your liking and try to spend more and more time with the girl so that you can know her more and can easily decide what you want to do. There's that too. I haven't been their her that long. I only met her last week. I do like her, but inside I'm just a bit empty. I do want to keep trying, keep seeing her to see how it goes. Last thing I want to do is give up without even trying. I get stressed when I am planning dates, as I believe in putting my best foot forward. So, I put a lot of effort into it and that sometimes that takes the fun out of it. She has hinted that she hopes that I am really a good guy, cause she has had bad relationships in the past. So, I know she is looking ahead a little too.
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 It means that there is no spark/sexual attraction. I would pass. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Has anyone not felt that chemistry or spark feeling after the first couple of dates and then later it has developed? Yes, first kisses are always different, and the spark might or might not be. You can still feel different though. Think that first dates always implies nervousness. Give her another chance.
Star Gazer Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Has anyone not felt that chemistry or spark feeling after the first couple of dates and then later it has developed? Nope, never.
Leigh 87 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 That's the thing, I think it's just me. It's not just with girls, it's with anything really. My mind is always bogged down with work and thinking too much ahead. I like how you have had that effect on guys and ignited excitement in their lives when they were stressed. Have you ever not had this effect on guys? LOL. Of course I do not have that affect on guys every time:lmao: With the RIGHT guys I tend to have that affect on them~! And actually, it has happened in circumstances where I could not be with them anyway; I had a boyfriend mostly. Sexual attraction, chemistry and having a pull towards them and being intimate with them.... I find you have it from the beginning and if you don't, then you will end up settling for someone who you do not feel passionate about.
BeholdtheMan Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 What does this mean?What does your penis tell you?
Author counterman Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 It means that there is no spark/sexual attraction. I would pass. I already have some planned with her next week... I was hoping a good make-out session might prove it differently Yes, first kisses are always different, and the spark might or might not be. You can still feel different though. Think that first dates always implies nervousness. Give her another chance. I thought for sure after I kissed her the first time, I would have this raging surge of feeling inside me. Then the kiss goodnight, I did feel something, but it wasn't overwhelming. I'll give it another try... she's giving me another chance in a way. Nope, never. LOL. Of course I do not have that affect on guys every time:lmao: With the RIGHT guys I tend to have that affect on them~! And actually, it has happened in circumstances where I could not be with them anyway; I had a boyfriend mostly. Sexual attraction, chemistry and having a pull towards them and being intimate with them.... I find you have it from the beginning and if you don't, then you will end up settling for someone who you do not feel passionate about. Cause it seems as though there may be some girls that have that effect on every guy That's the thing, she is attractive. I just don't know why it's been like this. If I don't feel that pull, that chemistry but continue dating her (if she chooses to continue dating me), I would be leading her on... What does your penis tell you? My penis was hard once during the last date... and that was when she brushed her hand against my shoulder and spoke in her sexy voice. Apart from that, my penis hasn't been acting up much at all lately.
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