averis Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 Hows it going everyone? Just a quick question, my ex girlf and i split up, and she was with someone else in a week! (showed how much she loves me!)after 2 years together, Anyway im accepting its over because i cant make her want me, shes moved on so i must do the same, the only prob thats bugging me and this is my question. I begged and pleaded, wrote letters, recorded songs, did everything in my power to get her back, but to know avail, so its only been 2/3 weeks since we last spoke, but her lasting image of me is some boy thats madly in love with her and will always be there for her if she ever needed it! Bo**ocks to that i say, so i was wondering should i mail her and let her know that i dont wanna know anymore, and shes free to do wat she likes (it would make me feel good). Or should i continue with the NC thing that im doing and get on with things, and just let her think that? I hope im not doing this so that she realises i dont want her and that makes her want me, i genuinely think id never get back its been too much, please advise people (this is prob 1 of the the best websites ever its helped me so much so thanks to the lot of you) Averis
ltomlinson81 Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 I would say that your non-contact with her is stronger than anything you would write down. The fact that you are not trying to contact her says enough. By contacting her, it may just look like you care still. By not contacting her, and avoiding her if she calls, you are sending a strong message: "I don't care!"
morrigan Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 Just do no contact---it makes it easier for you to enjoy your life, and makes the end of your relationship with this girl irrevocably clear. The best way to make it apparent that you don't have regrets is to live your own life and allow her to live hers. You don't have to admire her, but it's really not worth despising her for the rest or your life either. She's not a part of your life anymore, so don't continue to say anything to her, either positively or negatively.
Author averis Posted November 5, 2004 Author Posted November 5, 2004 Yea, u lot r right, just let her do what she wants and forget about her and her child (who i brought up as my own!) and as her birthday is coming up on the 22nd and i know she will think im going to send a card, or flowers, although she'll be away, well i aint sending sod all, then shes really going to realise that ive moved on, im looking at it like she doesnt even think about me, care anymore, shes with someone else. So i'll just let her be
savethedrama4allama Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 If you go out of your way to say "I don't care" it'll show that you care. People who really don't care wouldn't waste the time writing the letter. Just do NC.
Scott S Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 Originally posted by averis ... should i continue with the NC thing that im doing and get on with things, and just let her think that? Just continue NC. If her curiousity becomes instatiable, she would contact you. "Better to keep silent, and let people think you're an idiot, than to open your mouth & remove all doubt." - What my grandmother claimed is an old Norwegian proverb.
savethedrama4allama Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 Originally posted by Scott S "Better to keep silent, and let people think you're an idiot, than to open your mouth & remove all doubt." - What my grandmother claimed is an old Norwegian proverb. Also in a DMX song. But I don't think he's Norwegian.
Author averis Posted November 8, 2004 Author Posted November 8, 2004 Just got into work after a crap weekend, so just read your posts, thanks for the input guys, the thing is with this no contact thing is that one day i dont wanna know as in last fri, but then i cant get her out of my head either, ie all weekend, Im trying to look at things logically, 1.Its been since sept since we split, 2.Shes with someone else, 3.She doesnt think, care, or worry about me (so why am i with her?) 4.She will never call me again, 5.She treated me just like the ex's before me, dumped and moved on in a week, 6.Shes moved on You think after admiting these things to myself id be able to get her out of my head, I feel like im getting there as i realise these points, but just cant get her out of my head, please advise on how i can do this? Thanks, Averis
Author averis Posted November 8, 2004 Author Posted November 8, 2004 Oh well, Just found out from my mother who works down by my ex, that she is now displaying "IM A RUGBY SUPPORTER" all over the back of her car, bcoz her new boyf plays rugby, i really dont know how to feel about this because she cant stand rugby! I knew i had to get over her as in the post above, but when i heard this it changed my mind again to feeling hurt and upset, why is this? With her last couple of boyf she would dump them if something better came along and completely forget about them which is what she has done with me, now a couple of weeks later shes with this bloke and it seems like i never existed, she promised she wouldnt treat me like the exs but shes done just that, i suppose in my mind i thought she'd always come back although i knew she wouldnt (if that makes any sense) now it seems set in stone that the tart is hooked up and really will never bother me again, christ whens this bubble going to burst and i start taking my own advice, im better off i know but my attitude to this keeps changing, i really wanna move on, she has, and i want to, but things seem to kick off a strange reaction in me. Like i said above theres 5 reasons why i should move on but my mood keeps changing i hear things and it sends me back down, anyone been through this, please advise.
SadFellow2004 Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 Bro I am going through the same dilemma you are facing right now, I can't get this girl out of my head, I have been going with her for only 8 months but I was with her every day "my first mistake" I was pretty much married but without the ring, I lost a lot of my friends because I showed so much attention to her and she left me for a marine that she had dated earlier last year but had got shipped away to iraq, and he comes back and she magically doesnt love me anymore. I have been going through so much pain, she did me wrong and I know this I've wrote her so many poems made her a cd, sent flowers, wrote her probably 6-7 letters and called her, she finally changed her number I did everything I could to tell her that we could work our differences out and that I still loved her, but she says she loves me as a friend and not in the same way anymore. I don't know what I did to make her hate me but apparently she does now. There was a time I even debated killing myself because life felt so cruel to me that someone who said they loved you so many times and pleaded with me not to leave her in the past just dumps me like nothing and starts dating a guy 2 weeks later yet she says she didnt dump me to be with this guy she just didnt have the same feelings anymore. What a crock. We had so many talks of marriage and having kids, she was my real first love and she broke my heart, all I can tell you is sending letters and calling just makes it worse it made my ex more emotional and didnt even want to talk to me because it started making her feel guilty that I was crying and contacting her so much she doesnt understand how much I loved her and that I can't just drop someone out of my head that I loved. Well be strong brotha Ill talk to you later.
Author averis Posted November 8, 2004 Author Posted November 8, 2004 Sadfellow, Im sorry to hear about it buddy, to be honest i wouldnt wish what weve been through on anyone. Im glad that im not the only one going throught it ( no disrespect 2 you) it just felt like i was the only one and at least i know that im not alone, stay strong man, i agree with youre comments best to just leave them! i will keep in contact with you sadfellow and if i have any probs ill mail you (vice versa) Nice one mate, Averis
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