Fell in love for first time in like a decade. How to go about it?

[tomatogarden]

Okay I will try to make this short. Hopefully the whole thing does not sound as pathetic as I feel like it does. Please try to read the entire post, then help me deal with this situation.

 

I took a class in Physics. Now I need Physics for my pre-med requirements, but I absolutely hate it. First day of class I show and realize we have a female TA teaching us this lab. No problem. I enter class, get my closet assigned etc. All the while TA comes up to me and asks me why my name is spelled "Chaez" instead of "Chazz" (example). I told her "Hmm don't know". Didn't look at her and just kept managing my equipment. I can be anti-social like this at times I guess.

 

Then next day came around. I asked the TA how to open the closet lock. She told me how to do it and then moved towards the closet. I told her to step away and did it myself. She walked away. After that came down the "new" and "mightier" her. Everyday she'd pick on me for something and then berate me over it. Make me nervous, make me get late and the next thing you know I am the last one in lab. The more she picked on me the more I hated it; but the harder I worked. She'd be nicer to me in person but pick on me alot in class and have me read things or answer questions. I guess at points I questioned her teaching methods and she did not like how I tend to disobey rules.

 

She told me to be more organized. I told her that's just who I am. She said I was inconsiderate; I told her people matter more than things. It's not important how much paper I use because it creates jobs and saves me time. We'd fight over little things. Then eventually I started sucking at labs because I was nervous. I asked her question but she refused and told me not to talk to her anymore. I said okay fine. So I ignored her compltely the next day and just started doing my own thing. I finished on time again.

 

Next day she picked on me. I then opened up to her again and asked her tons of questions and delayed my lab, here I was being late with just her in an empty lab. I'd put myself down infront of her alot, but then I'd also tell her I liked perfection. I told her I hated getting things on my hands and liked wearing gloves; next day she took out extra quality plastic gloves (TAs aren't allowed to give those to students) and put them in the class. She did not give them to me directly but she mentioned how those gloves do not cause dryness; and I am the only one who really uses gloves in class.

 

Then one day I decided to walk out and goof off. When I came back she said I could not do that anymore. I told her she said I could go; she said she only did so because I had an emergency. I told her I did. She then said it was still not allowed. I then said well wtf can I do then? then she goes "I have a big heart so I let you do this. But I am afraid in the future you will get some other TA and you will get hurt".

 

The moment she said that it was like my heart missed a beat. I instantly got owned by her. I felt so bad and such an *******. Then I noticed she'd always tell ppl to be careful and not text while driving etc she really is a caring person towards people. But I also caught her looking at me at times: she'd nervously blink away. She often did that where she'd blink 300 times per second when looking at me.

 

Now if you are still reading. I was hooked. I started daydreaming, started not caring about my grades, I couldn't sleep anymore. I wasn't eating right. I was feeling like ****. She still asked me to answer questions but she acted reserved now. Often times totally ignoring my presence like I was not there.

 

[e-mail content redacted]

 

I have two options:

 

1- Ask her out directly. Tell her it's a date. (through e-mail, I don't have her phone).

2- Ask her for movies or something. Probably a bad idea because it is half assed and she will say no if she thinks I am asking as a friend.

3- Let it be. If she responds to me after grades are posted we can do something. If not then I forget about her and maybe in a year or ten I will move on.

 

My main concern is if there is any interest on her side at all or if I am just overreacting to her behavior / words. Please let me know. P.S we are same age but I took 3 yrs off from college. She is extremely intelligent and perhaps more mature than me.

Edited October 18, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[iKING]

"Okay, I will try to make this short"

 

- 15 paragraphs.

 

I just skimmed through to your back and forth and your questions, because to be frank with you, you're over thinking this. We see lots of people like this on here and more often than not, when in doubt, just go for it.

 

Ask her on a date.

 

You can calculate this for the next week to feel more assured that you'll get the answer you want, but my advice is always to give it a shot if It's something you really want.

 

Gotta go after the things you want in life you know?

[sweetkiwi]

Yeah dude. Ask her out!!!!!

[tomatogarden]

how should I ask her though? I respect her as a person so I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable situation. But at the same time I need to give her a direct message that I am interested; without putting her in an ultimatum situation.

[iKING]

Stop thinking. Casually ask her on a date.

 

Try not to make a big deal about it, remember that It's not the end of the world if she says no, you're right back where you are now.

 

Unless you take it to an extreme, she's not going to care much about the way you ask if she likes you. Short and sweet is usually good.

[PlumPrincess]

I don't think she's interested. She was very friendly, but there was nothing that I would see as romantic interest.

 

But, do ask her out. Even if she declines the invitation, it's better to fail once than to wonder forever.

[tomatogarden]

Well I talked to a class mate. He laughed about it and he said he didn't think so. He told me "not to cry if she says no". So I'm just going to take this as her being kind. Thing is if I ask her out it will **** on her kindness. Yes I want her but I also want her to not feel like crap for being herself. So basically I was not prepared for her and I am not prepared to date. It was my fault. Time to work on myself so it doesn't happen to me again.

[ITw]

Well I talked to a class mate. He laughed about it and he said he didn't think so. He told me "not to cry if she says no". So I'm just going to take this as her being kind. Thing is if I ask her out it will **** on her kindness. Yes I want her but I also want her to not feel like crap for being herself. So basically I was not prepared for her and I am not prepared to date. It was my fault. Time to work on myself so it doesn't happen to me again.

 

For pete's sake man, just ask her out. You're all amped up to do it and then do a complete 180 because a classmate doesn't think so? Don't listen to him and do what you want. Couples meet in college. For all you know she could be your soulmate. Maybe, maybe not but you'll never know til you ask her out. She sounds nice. Is it the end of the world if she says no? What if she says yes?

 

ETA: just remembered you said you'll do it through e-mail. That's even better if you're nervous. Type your message, hit send, and cross your fingers.

Edited August 13, 2013 by ITw

[iKING]

For all you know she could be your soulmate.

 

Probably not your soul mate. But anytime something like this is bothering me personally, I just go for it. A lot of the time it works, sometimes it doesn't. Just luck of the draw. But I always feel like I at least gave it a shot afterward.

[Simon Phoenix]

Better to have tried and failed then to always wonder.

[tomatogarden]

For pete's sake man, just ask her out. You're all amped up to do it and then do a complete 180 because a classmate doesn't think so? Don't listen to him and do what you want. Couples meet in college. For all you know she could be your soulmate. Maybe, maybe not but you'll never know til you ask her out. She sounds nice. Is it the end of the world if she says no? What if she says yes?

 

ETA: just remembered you said you'll do it through e-mail. That's even better if you're nervous. Type your message, hit send, and cross your fingers.

 

 

Okay once winter semester starts in two weeks and she comes back down, I am going to ask her. The reason why I like her in the first place is because I get that soul mate vibe from her. I just don't want to do it the wrong way. I want to make sure if she rejects the date it's because she is not attracted to me and not for other reasons. . But at the same time being too direct may make me come across as pushy. This is where experience comes in which I lack. I have to do it correctly (wait i just read what i'm saying. If she likes me any way would be correct no? lol).

[Simon Phoenix]

It's not rocket science. Just ask her out. She'll either say yes or no.