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How can I make it work?

Dankoopa

By Dankoopa
in Long-Distance Relationships

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Dankoopa Member

Dankoopa

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I have a girlfriend who lives in Amsterdam netherlands and I live in the US in texas. I love her and want to make it work we're both trying to earn enough money to meet for the first time

 

although my mom is against it for some reason... well her reason is she doesn't want me to get hurt, but her brother and her ex friend is also against her and is causing her to have a deep depression

keithkat Member

keithkat

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To make it work, you have to make up your minds and hearts to really trust each other no matter what happens. You have to know that you can trust each other to value the relationship and protect the other person from getting despaired.

 

For example, there might be several days that you cannot talk to each other so you must be both confident even without communication that you still have the loving relationship you have before you stopped talking. You must be confident that you won't both cheat each other and will care enough to admit it if ever it happens.

 

And just like any other relationships, you must encourage one another to grow and make the most out of your potentials knowing that it is each other's happiness that will make you both happy.

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emi Established Member

emi

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Its your happiness, your relationship. ITS ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU. Other things are optional

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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How old are you both? One of you could get a student visa and go to college.

Faith13/2 Established Member

Faith13/2

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My now Fiance lives in London, UK.. I live in NY, USA. As you can see our common ground already. Keeping things steady and stable between you two will NEVER be easy, sorry to say. I understand the financial battle completely, I dealt with that for almost 4 long years.. Find a way to meet, no matter what it takes, find a way. Good or bad outcome you won't have to deal with the "what ifs" anymore. As for your mother, you can't live to make people happy, I lost my whole family and practically all my friends when I went to meet my LDR. Forget them, Forget them all. This is about you and your happiness, no one else's. People will come to terms with it at some point, when they have no choice but to.. and for those who don't well that's their loss not yours. Keep motivated at all cost, and keep your minds on the goal. That meet must happen, or all might be lost. :/ Best of luck!! :)

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coffeebean201 Established Member

coffeebean201

Posted
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My now Fiance lives in London, UK.. I live in NY, USA. As you can see our common ground already. Keeping things steady and stable between you two will NEVER be easy, sorry to say. I understand the financial battle completely, I dealt with that for almost 4 long years.. Find a way to meet, no matter what it takes, find a way. Good or bad outcome you won't have to deal with the "what ifs" anymore. As for your mother, you can't live to make people happy, I lost my whole family and practically all my friends when I went to meet my LDR. Forget them, Forget them all. This is about you and your happiness, no one else's. People will come to terms with it at some point, when they have no choice but to.. and for those who don't well that's their loss not yours. Keep motivated at all cost, and keep your minds on the goal. That meet must happen, or all might be lost. :/ Best of luck!! :)

 

 

This is a great post.

 

Lots of people don't understand relationships born of the internet/tech. However, you have to understand that your family/friends are looking at the cost to travel to/from Europe (very expensive) and the risk that the relationship is a dud (level of risk).

 

Also keep in mind that a successful LDR usually means someone has to permanently move.

 

People are a lot more savvy than they let on and in reality neither family wants to lose their loved one - even if you are losing what could be the love of YOUR life.

 

Keep chatting about your loved one and eventually hopefully curiousity overtakes family nervousness/negativity.

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Faith13/2 Established Member

Faith13/2

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Also keep in mind that a successful LDR usually means someone has to permanently move.

 

Couldn't agree with this more, I am in the process of trying to move to the UK, You will not be able to just meet and then things go back to how they are now, if all goes well being apart will not be an option.

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Dankoopa Member

Dankoopa

Posted
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How old are you both? One of you could get a student visa and go to college.

I'm 18 she's 19

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Dankoopa Member

Dankoopa

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Couldn't agree with this more, I am in the process of trying to move to the UK, You will not be able to just meet and then things go back to how they are now, if all goes well being apart will not be an option.

 

Shouldn't be hard she only has a brother who hurt her and now she never wants to see her again

Faith13/2 Established Member

Faith13/2

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That's great that moving shouldn't be much of an issue. First and for most meet this person, for your own sake. After you meet you'll have a better idea where you stand and where the relationship can actually go.

 

 

This may be a bit of a random question, but just felt to ask since you didn't mention it.. do you guys skype or webcam chat at all? Not exactly sure of your situation.

Edited by Faith13/2
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Dankoopa Member

Dankoopa

Posted
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This may be a bit of a random question, but just felt to ask since you didn't mention it.. do you guys skype or webcam chat at all? Not exactly sure of your situation.

 

She doesn't have skype though she's trying to get a webcam :lmao: can't wait:)

Faith13/2 Established Member

Faith13/2

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She doesn't have skype though she's trying to get a webcam :lmao: can't wait:)

 

 

I think you should have her get a webcam very soon, even if it comes down to you having to buy her one and send it to her. The reason I suggest this is because with online romance, you can't just trust anyone. Not everything and everyone is always what they seem. Also gives me more insight on why your mother may be so wary on the situation. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of the show Catfish if not maybe you should take a moment to watch a few episodes and see why I suggest this to happen. I'm not saying whether your "love" is real or not, I'm just implying that there's always reasons behind lack of webcam, especially when it's someone who you plan to spend your life with. Good luck, hope everything is what you hope it to be.

Edited by Faith13/2
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