Weird

[Elluel]

Broke up with dumper on 1st july,1 month passed.When breaking up,dumper wants to be friends.Contacted once to thank dumper for everything she did for me during our 4.5years relationship.Her reason for the breakup was feelings changed(out of the blue when we were still intimate days before).Think i was blindsided till the day the break up occured.Contacted her after a month to give my closure and discuss about getting back each others' things.She talks with sarcasm and some angst or anger but quickly deny shes angry on her own without me asking.Bragged about how life is great and how busy it is and all when mutual friend said she's been living life online everyday while waiting for school to start.She's 21,going to college.

 

We ended amicably and i did not beg.So i am confused about how her attitude changed to this extent in a month?She doesn't want to be friends anymore and claims we might end up patching back(she earlier said she has no feelings and i have moved on in the one month of no contact) so i don't get what she meant.Can anyone explain to me why is she acting all angry and sarcastic?I can't figure out if it's some unresolved issue from our time together,interested in friendship with her(i am always friends with my long term exes and sometimes even great friends).

 

Thanks everyone

[Legatus]

Doesn't that wonder you? People are intimate with you and days after are somewhere else (or with someone else). Can't help to think of one particular word to describe it : )

 

Sarcasm and anger is a good cover-up, she doesn't want to admit that she:

 

a) made a mistake

b) regrets her decision

c) is too proud to admit anything

 

or all of the above. I'm not surprised. A lot can change in a month, so don't be too shocked, perhaps that's her way of coping with things. Good thing is you've done much better

[Elluel]

Doesn't that wonder you? People are intimate with you and days after are somewhere else (or with someone else). Can't help to think of one particular word to describe it : )

 

Sarcasm and anger is a good cover-up, she doesn't want to admit that she:

 

a) made a mistake

b) regrets her decision

c) is too proud to admit anything

 

or all of the above. I'm not surprised. A lot can change in a month, so don't be too shocked, perhaps that's her way of coping with things. Good thing is you've done much better

 

Coping with things? I would have thought that she's unaffected since she actually "lost feelings". I am just puzzled why would she not want a friendship now when she was the one who suggested it at first. I don't see or think of her in a romantic sense anymore but i do enjoy the common interests we share and how we helped each other grow in the common interests we had.Think i am just someone who values friendships.Can't understand what is going on.

[Oldcatskinner]

People don't always say how they feel, nor do they act on what they say, or how they feel.

 

I've thought about situations where I've felt one way and did another, and these didn't have anything to do with a romantic relationship.

 

There are too many dynamics going on in our lives with regard to ourselves, not to mention those with others in which we can never know with absolute certainty.

 

The key thing that has helped me the most, and I would urge you to try, is to accept that you and her are not together. Focus and work on the parts in your life that need attention (there will be some, as I am hoping that you are still living).

 

This will do several things for you:

1) building confidence that you can face the world and its circumstances and emerge victorious.

2) Working and focusing on these things will take your mind off of your torments

3) Setting yourself up to handle future challenges with a clearer mind to handle yourself with self respect and dignity.

 

I am doing this, and it is challenging, but it is not near as tormenting as dwelling on "why can't she and I be together in a fairy tale world".

[Elluel]

People don't always say how they feel, nor do they act on what they say, or how they feel.

 

I've thought about situations where I've felt one way and did another, and these didn't have anything to do with a romantic relationship.

 

There are too many dynamics going on in our lives with regard to ourselves, not to mention those with others in which we can never know with absolute certainty.

 

The key thing that has helped me the most, and I would urge you to try, is to accept that you and her are not together. Focus and work on the parts in your life that need attention (there will be some, as I am hoping that you are still living).

 

This will do several things for you:

1) building confidence that you can face the world and its circumstances and emerge victorious.

2) Working and focusing on these things will take your mind off of your torments

3) Setting yourself up to handle future challenges with a clearer mind to handle yourself with self respect and dignity.

 

I am doing this, and it is challenging, but it is not near as tormenting as dwelling on "why can't she and I be together in a fairy tale world".

 

All the best to you on that ,you can do it.I don't think you really read and understand what i meant. I am waiting for college now and i have long accepted that. Thanks.

[Legatus]

Coping with things? I would have thought that she's unaffected since she actually "lost feelings". I am just puzzled why would she not want a friendship now when she was the one who suggested it at first. I don't see or think of her in a romantic sense anymore but i do enjoy the common interests we share and how we helped each other grow in the common interests we had.Think i am just someone who values friendships.Can't understand what is going on.

Well, what "you would have thought" is not necessarily what is actually happening.

 

Just because you want a friendship, doesn't mean she has to as well.

 

Nope, not defending her, but you seem to be more distracted by the friendship refusal than the break up. And I can't see anything wrong with her not wanting friendship.

 

Sometimes all you need is one day, even one moment to change your attitude towards one thing/person. She had a whole month.