soret Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I have this friend, let's call her "c" in this sceneriao. C and I are ex-coworkers and during our time at work we became quite close as we were being trained for the same position. After I quit my job with the company I continued to stay in contact with a majority of my coworkers and we would all hit up the nightclubs every now and again. When describing C I would say that she is very sweet, caring, helpful, and considerate towards others. I've know her for about 10 months and I'd like to think I've gotten to know who she is as a person in those 10 months. However, the other evening I was scrolling through an adult film and I see this girl. It looks exactly like her and her voice is just spot on. I rewind it back thinking I didn't see it clealry. I rewind it 5 times and by this point I'm completly convinced it's her. At this point I'm shocked so I text my friend who is also C and I's old coworker and friend as well. I send her the video to verify my assumption and sure enough, she agrees it's her. I hardly slept at all that night. I was shocked and disgusted and I just couldn't get it out of my head. I never would have thought she could do something like this and having this secret is really killing me and I know that it's something I will always have to keep in order to somehow protect her. I really don't know how to deal with this right now or how I can ever continue our friendship after seeing that. I have nothing against people who work in the sex industry but since I know her it really changes everything.
Keenly Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I have this friend, let's call her "c" in this sceneriao. C and I are ex-coworkers and during our time at work we became quite close as we were being trained for the same position. After I quit my job with the company I continued to stay in contact with a majority of my coworkers and we would all hit up the nightclubs every now and again. When describing C I would say that she is very sweet, caring, helpful, and considerate towards others. I've know her for about 10 months and I'd like to think I've gotten to know who she is as a person in those 10 months. However, the other evening I was scrolling through an adult film and I see this girl. It looks exactly like her and her voice is just spot on. I rewind it back thinking I didn't see it clealry. I rewind it 5 times and by this point I'm completly convinced it's her. At this point I'm shocked so I text my friend who is also C and I's old coworker and friend as well. I send her the video to verify my assumption and sure enough, she agrees it's her. I hardly slept at all that night. I was shocked and disgusted and I just couldn't get it out of my head. I never would have thought she could do something like this and having this secret is really killing me and I know that it's something I will always have to keep in order to somehow protect her. I really don't know how to deal with this right now or how I can ever continue our friendship after seeing that. I have nothing against people who work in the sex industry but since I know her it really changes everything. I think you do 3
Author soret Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 I think you do No I don't actually. Maybe I have an issue with a friend who I care about leading a double life just for some money.
Author soret Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 What - exactly - does it change? Our friendship. I can't exactly talk about it with her.
CarrieT Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 The friendship hasn't changed - just you. 'Fess up that this bothers you and that you can't be friends because you are a judgmental person. Because you know what? You watch porn and every girl you have whacked off to is someone's daughter, someone's friend, and possibly just like the girl you know: nice, helpful, sweet, caring, and considerate to others... 2
Author soret Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 The friendship hasn't changed - just you. 'Fess up that this bothers you and that you can't be friends because you are a judgmental person. Because you know what? You watch porn and every girl you have whacked off to is someone's daughter, someone's friend, and possibly just like the girl you know: nice, helpful, sweet, caring, and considerate to others... Judgmental, yeah sure a bit but I'm more concerned about her well being at the moment. So do you think I should tell her that I know about it or would I humiliate her? This to me looks like a one time thing for her. She was complaining about her money issues because of university and I wish she would have asked for some help. Well, since I'm a straight female it's kinda hard to wack off to other girls....but I'm sure there are some sweet guys that are pornstars. The only thing is I don't know their real names and they aren't my friends.
Author soret Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 Is she really leading a double life or was that perhaps her past life? Frankly whether she is currently doing porn or had done so in the past is irrelevant to your current friendship outside of the fact that your delicate sensibilities have been rattled. What difference does it make? Is she any less sweet and caring to others because of this? No, no really. She does porn, you watch it. Apparently you have a bit more in common than you think. Ah yes I see what you mean. Thank you for opening up my third eye. There will just be some awkward meetings in the future.
CC12 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 So do you think I should tell her that I know about it or would I humiliate her? I don't think you should tell her. She hasn't opened this up for discussion so it's safe to assume she doesn't want to talk about it with you.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I have this friend, the other evening I was scrolling through an adult film and I see this girl. It looks exactly like her and her voice is just spot on. At this point I'm shocked so I text my friend who is also C and I's old coworker and friend as well. I send her the video this secret is really killing me and I know that it's something I will always have to keep in order to somehow protect her. Shouldn't this be in the fiction section??
TaraMaiden Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I have this friend, let's call her "c" in this sceneriao. C and I are ex-coworkers and during our time at work we became quite close as we were being trained for the same position. After I quit my job with the company I continued to stay in contact with a majority of my coworkers and we would all hit up the nightclubs every now and again. When describing C I would say that she is very sweet, caring, helpful, and considerate towards others. I've know her for about 10 months and I'd like to think I've gotten to know who she is as a person in those 10 months. However, the other evening I was scrolling through an adult film and I see this girl. It looks exactly like her and her voice is just spot on. I rewind it back thinking I didn't see it clealry. I rewind it 5 times and by this point I'm completly convinced it's her. At this point I'm shocked so I text my friend who is also C and I's old coworker and friend as well. I send her the video to verify my assumption and sure enough, she agrees it's her. I hardly slept at all that night. I was shocked and disgusted and I just couldn't get it out of my head. I never would have thought she could do something like this and having this secret is really killing me and I know that it's something I will always have to keep in order to somehow protect her. I really don't know how to deal with this right now or how I can ever continue our friendship after seeing that. I have nothing against people who work in the sex industry but since I know her it really changes everything. It's none of your damn business. If she worked in an abattoir, or designed weaponry, I'd have more objections to those professions, than her making money out of an industry that has always existed, and always will. Sure, 'porn' has its darker, negative side, but some aspects of porn are enjoyable and it's not all 'doom and gloom' in that industry. If she's as nice a person as you say she is, then the industry has obviously not affected her adversely.... I doubt she has a drug habit, or is physically unhealthy, depressed or dysfunctional... I hate to say it, but you come across less as caring and more as critical. What she does, isn't your business. What she's like is more important, and if she's 'nice' then count your lucky stars. 1
Lani Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Judgmental, yeah sure a bit but I'm more concerned about her well being at the moment. So do you think I should tell her that I know about it or would I humiliate her? This to me looks like a one time thing for her. She was complaining about her money issues because of university and I wish she would have asked for some help. Well, since I'm a straight female it's kinda hard to wack off to other girls....but I'm sure there are some sweet guys that are pornstars. The only thing is I don't know their real names and they aren't my friends. What about her wellbeing? So she made a porno, big deal. What is the real issue? That you've seen her vagina and can't look at her face anymore? Or that she made the film in the first place? Or that she hasn't told you about it? Work out what exactly bothers you about it and go from there. Also, I dare say you mentioning it to her would be far less humiliating than you sending it to your friend for verification. 2
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