canuckprincess Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Today was my 21 month Anniversary of Dday 1. I can't believe that in 21 months nothing has changed in some reguards, but in some ways everything has changed. As each day passes I feel like I'm getting a little bit stronger, I pray I will be strong enough to do what I need to do. On a side note, what do you do if mm/mw break no contact when you've asked them to please not call or text you?
MissBee Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Today was my 21 month Anniversary of Dday 1. I can't believe that in 21 months nothing has changed in some reguards, but in some ways everything has changed. As each day passes I feel like I'm getting a little bit stronger, I pray I will be strong enough to do what I need to do. On a side note, what do you do if mm/mw break no contact when you've asked them to please not call or text you? Ignore them. If they aren't saying anything different, just don't respond. 4
Author canuckprincess Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 Ignore them. If they aren't saying anything different, just don't respond. I know your right but I don't know if I could just ignore him, I love talking to him.
krazikat Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I know your right but I don't know if I could just ignore him, I love talking to him. Block him, that way it is not in your face if he does try to break NC.
MissBee Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I know your right but I don't know if I could just ignore him, I love talking to him. We've all been there...it's not easy, but you can find the the strength to do so, and usually it gets easier after you do it the first time.
Author canuckprincess Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 Block him, that way it is not in your face if he does try to break NC. How do you block emails or texts?
georgia girl Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Canuck, When I got my heart broken on e by an ex-boyfriend who wasn't ready for commitment, I went no contact but he kept reaching out to me. I used that as a source of my strength to stay no contact. I figured once I responded, I was back waiting on him. But if I didn't, the ball was in my court and I had all of the power. Further, I was standing up for me and what I needed. Eventually, I did respond but I also married him. So look at it as your opportunity to take control over your future and let it empower you. Hugs, GG
whichwayisup Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I know your right but I don't know if I could just ignore him, I love talking to him. Then change your number and make it impossible for him to text/call you. Or, suffer the consquences of inviting pain and heartache back into your life if you allow contact to continue and reply back to him. NC will not work unless you want it to stick and to work. Fact that you still want to talk to him doesn't help..Seems you're not 'really' done with him.
LilGirlandOW Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 CanuckPrincess *Hugs*. I hope you're doing ok hon. You and your MM have been on a long road together, not sure what is going on atm, or what it is you have to do. But I wish you all the strength to do it and thinking of you, my fellow canuck and OW
ladydesigner Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 (((canuckprincess))) I wish you strength. None of this is easy. Take YOUR power back as the other poster said and use that to your advantage. Either way you will be good. You will either end up with MM or you will end up with a new man who treats you with the respect you deserve. Sometimes having no man and focusing on yourself is best. As far as MM/MW contact. Block. And if they contact again let them know the next time they contact you, you will contact the authorities for harassment. Best of luck!
LilGirlandOW Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 On a side note, what do you do if mm/mw break no contact when you've asked them to please not call or text you? What happened? I have been anxiously awaiting NC updates.
Author canuckprincess Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Tonight is the two year anniversary since mm and I got to spend am entire night together. For several years mm would take a trip with some buddies so on the Thursday night before labour day mm and I would spend the night at the Hilton in niagra falls. I'm not happy that I'm not in the falls with him tonight but I guess that's the down side if being the ow. He caters to his wife but at least he's honest with me so I'd rather be the ow then the wife in this scenerio. 1
Author canuckprincess Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 What happened? I have been anxiously awaiting NC updates. I am not going NC, and he refuses to go NC.
LilGirlandOW Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 CanuckPrincess, We must live so close to eachother... I love going to the falls. I'm happy you're happy, NC or in the R
Author canuckprincess Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 CanuckPrincess, We must live so close to eachother... I love going to the falls. I'm happy you're happy, NC or in the R I'm gonna private message you
Spark1111 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Tonight is the two year anniversary since mm and I got to spend am entire night together. For several years mm would take a trip with some buddies so on the Thursday night before labour day mm and I would spend the night at the Hilton in niagra falls. I'm not happy that I'm not in the falls with him tonight but I guess that's the down side if being the ow. He caters to his wife but at least he's honest with me so I'd rather be the ow then the wife in this scenerio. oh PULLEAZE. you are justifying his crap. if it were me, I be on the phone demanding to know why aren't we at the falls this year?????? YOU deserve better. 3
Spark1111 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 in fact, I'm the type of woman that would tell him I had an invitation to stay at the Hilton at the Falls and because HE had not extended the offer, which you found hurtful, you will be accepting the invitation from another. Buh-bye MM. MAYBE speak next week.
Author canuckprincess Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 oh PULLEAZE. you are justifying his crap. if it were me, I be on the phone demanding to know why aren't we at the falls this year?????? YOU deserve better. We aren't at the falls because ever since he told her about me and that we spent time in the falls together she keeps him on a very short leash. If she could microchip him like a dog she would. 1
Author canuckprincess Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 in fact, I'm the type of woman that would tell him I had an invitation to stay at the Hilton at the Falls and because HE had not extended the offer, which you found hurtful, you will be accepting the invitation from another. Buh-bye MM. MAYBE speak next week. Why would I play a game and lie to him? When I'm hurt I tell him and we talk through it, that's how we are. 3
Author canuckprincess Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 I am moving this conversation over here because I feel bad for t/j'ing C00kie's thread. A follow up to what I was saying about you having nothing to hide and the BS stalking you on various mediums: In faaact... you know what you CAN do, Canuck, since you have nothing to hide... and since she is lurking and stalking you... even on LS... You can post pictures of yourself and your MM together on here. That would be a big eye opener for her. She would certainly know the truth then. I've got pics of myself, my SO, AND our cat in my profile, because we are in the same boat... we have nothing to hide. I also have pics of us together on Facebook. If you don't feel comfortable on LS, you can certainly post your pics on FB, since she stalks you there as well. That would definitely snap her out of her BS fog. There are pics of us on my FB, and pics of my son and mm in the falls 2 years ago. I haven't posted recent pics of us on my FB but that might be what I should do.
Owl Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I am not going NC, and he refuses to go NC. Then why are you upset that nothing has changed? You've given him all he's wanted for two years. He has no reason to change. And you apparently are satisfied with how things are as well...because you do nothing to create change. She doesn't need to microchip him. He won't leave her...he's had ample opportunity to do so, but it hasn't happened. Your anger at her is misplaced...she's not the architect of your situation...he is, with your complicity. Why do you expect that she should give him up for some reason, when she's got far more history and reason to stay with him than you do? You're willing to keep things going like they have been for the last two years, based on far less than what she's got invested...why do you think she should respond any differently? He's giving you all that he's willing to give you at this point in time. If that's enough to keep you on the hook...he's accomplished his goal. 3
letmoc Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 He should be the one to man up and tell her, not you through cryptic messages. So hurtful and immature.
sweet_pea Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I don't understand you, Canuck. You claim that you want her to know the truth... but you aren't willing to be upfront about it, heck, you won't even send an anonymous email to her about the situation. Instead, you make posts on different forums and assume that she will read them. Are you afraid that telling her the truth will result in you and MM's relationship ending? 4
KathyM Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Posting on an anonymous forum does not constitute informing the BS of the continued infidelity. The chances of her reading your post and recognizing her husband in the situation are pretty small. If you really wanted to tell her, you would have, but as one of the posters above had alluded to, you are probably afraid it would tick off your MM, so you keep your mouth shut, accepting the status quo from him. Nothing is going to change until you make it change. Tell your MM that you can't go on like this, and insist that he come clean with his wife and stop the double life. He is hurting both you and his BS with this charade, and as long as you don't insist that he make a choice, he will stick with having his cake and eating it. Why would you keep yourself in that situation? If he is unwilling to leave the marriage, then you know where you stand. Shouldn't it be time to insist that he make a choice? This stringing both women along needs to stop, and you can be sure he isn't going to stop it unless one of you women stops it for him. If you are waiting for her to make the choice because you and your MM are too cowardly to, then I guess you'll continue with the status quo until she decides (if she decides) that she can't take it anymore.
ladydesigner Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 We aren't at the falls because ever since he told her about me and that we spent time in the falls together she keeps him on a very short leash. If she could microchip him like a dog she would. Canuck you do understand why his BS feels a need to do this right? I'm sorry but your MM like my WH is a coward and NO one in this wonderful triangle is giving her the truth. Her WH may be telling her a whole different story. Read up on how traumatic A's are to a BS. It's no joke I still suffer from PTSD. My MOW says the same about me that I shouldn't have to check on him. If I didn't the A would go on indefinitely and I want out of the M if that is the case. I do not like sharing. 2
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