Jump to content

Women..Why text after first date if you aren't interested?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Obviously, taking the advice of gh5 and ignoring everyone else (several women included) is the way to go! First you planned on texting her, then pondered calling her, now you're giving up. Good luck.

  • Like 2
Posted

Dude, give it a shot to ask her out. If she says no and doesn't offer another time or make other plans than fine. Nothing to me says "I am not interested". I have had girls not even respond to my e-mails before and then end up dating them.

 

Why give up that easy? One step at a time, just ask her out again if you enjoyed it. You worried your ego is going to get bruised? You won't know until you ask.

  • Like 1
Posted
Thanks radio... I haven't said anything to her since Sunday night. Probably on the verge of losing any chance but my feeling is that she will text today if she has any interest. I would hope she realizes her last text was one sided so I feel like the balls in her court.

 

OR, I can just call her tonight and give it a go. Grrrr :o

 

No problem! I think either approach you decide to take is fine:

 

I agree with you - - it has been 48 hrs since you last contacted her. That's plenty of time for you to gauge her interest and see if she responds on her own.

 

At the same time: you really like this lady! No one would fault you for giving it one last try tonight. And if there's no sign of life, then yeah you're probably better off letting it go.

 

It does suck to really like someone and not have them like you back but it's early enough in the game - - and as you mentioned you have plenty of other prospects - - that your rate of recovery will be much faster than if you were to drag it out.

 

Good luck!!

  • Like 1
Posted

Um, girl was out for an appendectomy. Just went back to work. Let me tell you what she's doing while she's home. SLEEPING! Not banging other guys. Or juggling anything. She's probably figuring out how to stay awake long enough to get herself a bite to eat.

  • Like 1
Posted

Well did you ever find your car or not?

  • Author
Posted
Well did you ever find your car or not?

 

Yeah. Had to call the bank. They gave me the company name of the parking lot who I then called to get the location.

 

I just went against some of the advice and sent her a text to check how her week is going and told her Ive been busy with work lately. I probably screwed it up but I already feel better sending it. If it doesn't work out, whatever. My friend made a good point which is.. She lives with two girl roommates who she's good friends with. It's possible they influenced her opinion about me (losing car) Etc so she's lost interest. Because at the time and after, she didn't seem to care at all and like I said earlier, she offered to help me the next morning.

 

I'll give an update later if she texts back but probably not. Thanks to everyone who posted in here!

Posted

Text or call her when you feel comfortable and ask her out. I don't think waiting or not waiting is really going to make a difference either way.

Posted

Hey, look at it this way. If she takes the car incident seriously and turns you down, her loss. But, say things work out. Twenty years from now you'll be telling that story to anyone who will listen! (I know hubbie and I have a good one from our first date) Good luck to you!

Posted

How about this one - tell her you never found your car and you need her to give you a lift. Then she can say, "Need a lift? Then stick a jack up your ass."

Posted
Yeah. Had to call the bank. They gave me the company name of the parking lot who I then called to get the location.

 

I just went against some of the advice and sent her a text to check how her week is going and told her Ive been busy with work lately. I probably screwed it up but I already feel better sending it. If it doesn't work out, whatever. My friend made a good point which is.. She lives with two girl roommates who she's good friends with. It's possible they influenced her opinion about me (losing car) Etc so she's lost interest. Because at the time and after, she didn't seem to care at all and like I said earlier, she offered to help me the next morning.

 

I'll give an update later if she texts back but probably not. Thanks to everyone who posted in here!

 

 

/facepalm

 

Why did we even bother then?

 

She's not going to respond to that text you sent (in all likelihood), not because of you losing your car or anything, but because it is such a weak follow-through on your end. CALL her. If she is on the fence a phone call might be what is needed to go on Date 2.

 

Don't let that be the reason you don't call back. Everyone makes mistakes, just be more mindful of these things going forward.

  • Like 3
Posted

Take charge of what u want. And go after it. Totally about calling. Let her hear your voice.

 

Don't be such a spaz.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Ok I will call her tonight.

 

Edit: I should have married young like my friends. Dating is horrific :).

Edited by everyusernameisinuse
Posted
Ok I will call her tonight.

 

Edit: I should have married young like my friends. Dating is horrific :).

 

I sometimes wish I'd been given that advise. Then I realise I haven't met my wife yet.

Posted
Ok I will call her tonight.

 

Edit: I should have married young like my friends. Dating is horrific :).

Yea, try it in your 40's :eek:

  • Author
Posted
Yea, try it in your 40's :eek:

 

:). I can only imagine. I'm 25 now.. Still a few years to go.

Posted
:). I can only imagine. I'm 25 now.. Still a few years to go.

 

So what is marrying young. 18.

  • Author
Posted
So what is marrying young. 18.

 

22-24 I guess. That's when my friends got married. I'm 25 now. I can't get married until I've been with someone for a while. They had been with their girlfriends for a long time before that. Then again, when looking at it statistically, they are likely to divorce because they married early.

 

It's definitely true that you change a lot in your 20s. Who I was when I was 21 and who I am now, are almost two completely different people.

Posted

Yeh it's easy to look around and feel envious of all those who appear settled.

 

As an aside, i didn't take any relationship that seriously until I was 30, and none of my friends got married until mid 30s. But I do think that when u meet a good'n u need to be arsed giving her a phone call.

  • Author
Posted
Yeh it's easy to look around and feel envious of all those who appear settled.

 

As an aside, i didn't take any relationship that seriously until I was 30, and none of my friends got married until mid 30s. But I do think that when u meet a good'n u need to be arsed giving her a phone call.

 

Right. I agree, I'm just a little thrown off by having to "chase" I guess.

Posted
Take charge of what u want. And go after it. Totally about calling. Let her hear your voice.

 

Don't be such a spaz.

 

Perhaps what he wants is for the woman to show a little interest as well. The standard advice that the man must call immediately with detailed plans for the second date and chase her to get what he wants ignores the fact that many men don't want to chase an inanimate object, they want her to show some interest in return, or it becomes a mediocre one sided relationship.

  • Like 1
Posted

Inanimate. It is a living breathing human that he met and sounds as if he quite likes her.

 

I think any Insight would realise that it is this fellow that must put himself out there, and come what may, he needs not to be scared of a knock back. I think guys are far too sensitive these days. Ohh, she might not like me. Ohh, I must be the man. Ohh, I have to get in and reject her first.

 

When u meet someone u like, u MUST take a risk. And this guy is risking nothing calling her, but the chance of a bit of happiness down the road.

Posted
Right. I agree, I'm just a little thrown off by having to "chase" I guess.

 

You shouldn't have text her if you were going to call. Now you're being forced to chase her :-p. In your defence, I would reply to a text from a guy im interested in.

Posted
When u meet someone u like, u MUST take a risk. And this guy is risking nothing calling her, but the chance of a bit of happiness down the road.

 

Actually, he is risking possible being used if the woman just isn't that into him and don't mind using him as an ego boost.

 

I have seen that happen myself. Now, unless I get a vibe from her that she is interested in me (the real me), I'm done.

Posted
Actually, he is risking possible being used if the woman just isn't that into him and don't mind using him as an ego boost.

 

I have seen that happen myself. Now, unless I get a vibe from her that she is interested in me (the real me), I'm done.

 

It's been one date. How do guys even get to thinking like this. I'm scared of being used. Men dont come out with that rubbish.

Posted
It's been one date. How do guys even get to thinking like this. I'm scared of being used. Men dont come out with that rubbish.

 

And during that one date, if she didn't really show interest in me, that tells me all that I need to know, doesn't it? Especially if I happens to be the one who asked her out since that is what a "man" should do, apparently......

 

Mind you, I got burned myself like that. A female showing interest in me on the outside when there was none on the inside and I lost out on 5 months and a few hundred bucks down the drain. Sure, it wasn't a lot to lose but still there was a better way to make use of that than on a relationship that was destined to fail.

×
×
  • Create New...