everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Hi forums, I went on a "blind date" on Friday night. It was supposed to be brief but we ended up talking for 5-6 hours straight until the bars closed. There seemed to be a ton of chemistry and we weren't drunk. Once we got kicked out of the bar, she asked if I could give her a ride to her car because she parked far away. I realized I didn't know where I parked so we looked for my car on foot, in the rain, under a thunder storm, for about 30 minutes until we finally took a cab to her car. We were both soaked at this point and we were kind of laughing about it. I've never lost my car for the record lol.. I'm not really sure how it happened. Anyways, I told her she could go home multiple times and I would keep looking but she didn't want me walking around outside I guess so she offered to drive me around. We gave up after about an hour..It was already 3:00AM at this point and we were both exhausted. She dropped me off at my place and I gave her a hug. The next day, I didn't text her. She texted me at around 6:00PM asking if I found my car. Here is the question, would she do this just to be nice? Or is she interested? I ask because I texted her back telling her what happened and asked what she was doing that night. She told me she was taking it easy and seeing a movie with friends. The next day (Sunday), I checked in on her to see how she was feeling through text. (She had appendix surgery recently). She responded this morning with a brief "Hey thanks I'm fine. Back to work today :(" Here is the thing. I'm not desperate, I have other flings going. But I haven't been so interested in a woman before. I feel we would be a really good match. BUT, I'm not the type to chase. I usually play it cool and let them come to me and yes, it works... BUT, I don't know what to do with this one because I think if I text her one more time soon, she's going to be turned off because I'm too persistent. I know men and women like a chase.. But it really does seem like she's lost interest, somehow. Women, any idea what is going on? Is it really possible she just texted me the next day just to be nice and see if I found my car? I should add, when she dropped me off, she did say I could call her in the morning if I needed help finding my car.. Appreciate any advice.
Star Gazer Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Asking you if you found your car was the polite thing a nice person would do under the circumstances. There's no sign of romantic interest in her texts. 2
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 Asking you if you found your car was the polite thing a nice person would do under the circumstances. There's no sign of romantic interest in her texts. Thanks. Very odd that a date can go that well with no interest. Maybe she just wanted to have a night out with someone. Time to move on then I guess.
Star Gazer Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Thanks. Very odd that a date can go that well with no interest. Maybe she just wanted to have a night out with someone. Time to move on then I guess. No, it's not. You can enjoy someone's company, have great conversation, think they're an attractive person, etc., and not be sexually attracted to them (which is necessary to want to see them again). Happens all the time. If it didn't, none of us would be single. 3
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 No, it's not. You can enjoy someone's company, have great conversation, think they're an attractive person, etc., and not be sexually attracted to them (which is necessary to want to see them again). Happens all the time. If it didn't, none of us would be single. So if what you're saying is true, should I just not send another text and let it go away? Or should I at least tell her it was nice to meet her and I had a good time?
Star Gazer Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 So if what you're saying is true, should I just not send another text and let it go away? Or should I at least tell her it was nice to meet her and I had a good time? I didn't see any signs of romantic interest, but I don't see any signs that she's not interested either. If it's been a few days, time is tickin' for you to express interest in seeing her again. Most women aren't going to chase this early on. 1
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 I didn't see any signs of romantic interest, but I don't see any signs that she's not interested either. If it's been a few days, time is tickin' for you to express interest in seeing her again. Most women aren't going to chase this early on. Thanks. I appreciate your time. I'll wait until Tuesday or Wednesday to ask her out again and then call it quits if that doesn't work out.
dasein Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Please stop relying on texts for early communications. Call her on the phone a few days after the date and ask her out again for a definite time and place. The outcome will tell you all you need to know about her interest level. Texts tell nothing. Call and talk on the phone and you will have your answer. Good luck. 3
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 Please stop relying on texts for early communications. Call her on the phone a few days after the date and ask her out again for a definite time and place. The outcome will tell you all you need to know about her interest level. Texts tell nothing. Call and talk on the phone and you will have your answer. Good luck. Will do. The worlds biggest water balloon fight with a beer garden and live music is this weekend. I'll ask her to go to that. = ) 1
Lansing Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Yeah I would rely on text so much either. I use text with some girls to ask them out (early stages, especially if they are younger girls) but I try not to have "conversations" with them via text. If you ask her out and she rejects the invite then that is probably a good sign of interest level (unless she makes it clear why and makes effort to see you again)
Star Gazer Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Thanks. I appreciate your time. I'll wait until Tuesday or Wednesday to ask her out again and then call it quits if that doesn't work out. That's too long. You should call now. 3
Imajerk17 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Call her asap. I'm not sure what to make of you losing your car though. Something about that seems unmasculine, and it might turn off some women. 4
thefooloftheyear Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Call her asap. I'm not sure what to make of you losing your car though. Something about that seems unmasculine, and it might turn off some women. Well, he is inviting her to the worlds largest water balloon fight...That should set things on the right path again.. TFY 1
supaflyz Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 From reading your post. I don't see if she isn't interested.
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 Call her asap. I'm not sure what to make of you losing your car though. Something about that seems unmasculine, and it might turn off some women. Yeah it sucked that it had to happen after the night went so well. She did seem cool about it but who knows if she was just acting nice. Well, he is inviting her to the worlds largest water balloon fight...That should set things on the right path again.. TFY This is Seattle, not Dallas. Girls around here don't need a guy to take them out shooting in their lifted truck. Some do, but we are more liberal here = ).
thefooloftheyear Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Yeah it sucked that it had to happen after the night went so well. She did seem cool about it but who knows if she was just acting nice. This is Seattle, not Dallas. Girls around here don't need a guy to take them out shooting in their lifted truck. Some do, but we are more liberal here = ). Im just kiddin, dude... TFY 1
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 That's too long. You should call now. I may be over-thinking it but last week she was recovering from appendix surgery. She was on pain killers all week and went off them the night we hung out. Then she had to go back to the grind this morning and didn't seem too excited about it. My feeling is I should wait till tomorrow just to give her an extra day to ease into her regular grind. Hell, we all get the case of the Mondays... Having a date Fri night, exchanging a few texts over the weekend and today, and then waiting until Tuesday to ask her out, is that really that bad?
Sunshine87 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 (edited) This is the way ild behave if I was interested in a guy. I wouldn't want to come on too strong or give away my feelings. It appears like everyone (even the men) are guarded nowadays. Argh, it will complicate dating. Lol She didn't have to text you to ask about your car. That's something ild do to raise a conversation with someone I had an interest in. On the other hand, she could've been curious that you didn't call or text her the day after and this is enough to arouse curiosity! Her actions, while not categorically indicative that she IS interested, do not exude disinterest. Yaknowwhatimean? She might very well be! Only the future actions will tell. Give it one or two days then send her a message. Don't keep it for too long otherwise she might lose interest (if there is any). Edited August 13, 2013 by Sunshine87 3
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 This is the way ild behave if I was interested in a guy. I wouldn't want to come on too strong or give away my feelings. It appears like everyone (even the men) are guarded nowadays. Argh, it will complicate dating. Lol She didn't have to text you to ask about your car. That's something ild do to raise a conversation with someone I had an interest in. On the other hand, she could've been curious that you didn't call or text her the day after and this is enough to arouse curiosity! Her actions, while not categorically indicative that she IS interested, do not exude disinterest. Yaknowwhatimean? She might very well be! Only the future actions will tell. Give it one or two days then send her a message. Don't keep it for too long otherwise she might lose interest (if there is any). Thanks for your perspective..
radiodarcy Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 This is the way ild behave if I was interested in a guy. I wouldn't want to come on too strong or give away my feelings. It appears like everyone (even the men) are guarded nowadays. Argh, it will complicate dating. Lol She didn't have to text you to ask about your car. That's something ild do to raise a conversation with someone I had an interest in. On the other hand, she could've been curious that you didn't call or text her the day after and this is enough to arouse curiosity! Her actions, while not categorically indicative that she IS interested, do not exude disinterest. Yaknowwhatimean? She might very well be! Only the future actions will tell. Give it one or two days then send her a message. Don't keep it for too long otherwise she might lose interest (if there is any). I agree with Sunshine. She didn't have to text you about the car or respond to the the other message where you asked her how she was feeling. If I'm not interested in a guy I neither initiate texts after a date nor to I continue to respond to a guy if he continues to text me afterwards. All because I made the mistake of doing this and drove the guys I was interested in away. As Sunshine said - - her texts may not explicitly state an interest; but they don't necessarily imply that there is no interest at all... 1
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 I agree with Sunshine. She didn't have to text you about the car or respond to the the other message where you asked her how she was feeling. If I'm not interested in a guy I neither initiate texts after a date nor to I continue to respond to a guy if he continues to text me afterwards. All because I made the mistake of doing this and drove the guys I was interested in away. As Sunshine said - - her texts may not explicitly state an interest; but they don't necessarily imply that there is no interest at all... Thanks radio... I haven't said anything to her since Sunday night. Probably on the verge of losing any chance but my feeling is that she will text today if she has any interest. I would hope she realizes her last text was one sided so I feel like the balls in her court. OR, I can just call her tonight and give it a go. Grrrr
MidwestUSA Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Will do. The worlds biggest water balloon fight with a beer garden and live music is this weekend. I'll ask her to go to that. = ) Shoot, I just checked and it would cost me $737 to fly out.
MidwestUSA Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Yes, call her tonight. You'll have a answer, one way or another. 1
Author everyusernameisinuse Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 wrong. she won't answer the phone or return the call. she may call back in a few weeks if all the hot guys she are after turn her down, just to string you along again. Maybe. She did tell me she's done with that phase of her life and she's ready to "settle down". She's 28. But women say things you want to hear so your right, she's probably still hooking up with a bunch of guys. Screw it. I'm not going to call her. Thanks for everyone's responses here. I didn't expect this much advice.
desperategirl Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Hey, just my two cents, but I don't see anything in your re-telling of the situation to suggest she isn't interested? I guess it comes down to how nervous you'd feel calling her, and how much possible rejection would bother you. Sounds like it's worth one phone call to me. 1
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