Jump to content

havent talked to ex since break up and i want to tell her this

johndoes

By johndoes
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

johndoes Member

johndoes

Posted
Posted

We broke up because we just couldn't get along. we dated for a total of seven months. The night we broke up she told me that she was still in love with her ex from seven years ago. The next day she stopped by the house to pick her things up and found bobby pins in my room. Now I understand how that looks but I had no part in it whatsoever. My sister in law stayed there when I was gone for a couple of weeks and they were hers and I tried to say that but I think the damages was already done. I don't want anything but to be sociable with her because we have a ton of mutual friends together an d I know one day we will run into each other. I don't know if sh is with her ex now or not. But this is what I want to send to her via text. Let me know if this is something good or bad.

Im not expecting to hear anything back from you about this. This isnt an attempt to try and get back together...that's not what this is about. I wanted to talk in person about this but you never returned my call. I know you think that things actually went on during the time we dated and I respect that...its your opinion and your entitled to have one. You will choose to believe me or not and there isn't anything I can do to change that. All I can do is say I didn't do anything and god himself knows that. I Before i wasnt looking at everything with a clear head and I now can see that there were things wrong with the relationship and that it just wasn't right. You said before you can never be friends with exes and if that's how you feel I will give you that. If you read this and you just don't care or you get a good laugh then so be it...that's just how it is. (Her name) I respect your decisions, I still care for you alot and I really do wish nothing but the very best for you. Maybe one day we can be sociable again but only time will tell.

  • Like 1
Sneaky Established Member

Sneaky

Posted
Posted

Normally I would be on here shouting to just send nothing and go no contact but tbh, if it helps you; just send it. Do be prepared to not get a reply back. I would rewrite it a few times first, though; also personally I would get rid of this bit:

 

"and I respect that...its your opinion and your entitled to have one"

 

If she is wrong and jumped to conclusions you don't need to respect it. Just tell her she's wrong.

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted

no, don't waste your time. she left because she is still in love with her ex and doesn't want to be with you. she didn't leave because there were bobby pins in your floor.

 

you say you don't expect a response, but you really do. and once you send it you'll just be waiting for one. and then you'll think of the next "last thing" you need to say, and on and on. just stop the process now, and don't send her anything.

  • Like 1
Ireallydontknow Established Member

Ireallydontknow

Posted
Posted
no, don't waste your time. she left because she is still in love with her ex and doesn't want to be with you. she didn't leave because there were bobby pins in your floor.

 

you say you don't expect a response, but you really do. and once you send it you'll just be waiting for one. and then you'll think of the next "last thing" you need to say, and on and on. just stop the process now, and don't send her anything.

 

That sounds like some good advice. My ex-fiance and I broke it off 3 days ago. I keep thinking of the last thing I need to tell her, and he's right. I'll just think of the next last thing, and the next.

 

It's just best I stop now. I'm on 3 days of NC, well I HAD to talk to her to sort out moving stuff.

 

I know the feeling the I keep wanting to tell her how selfish she is, how much she is hurting me, how she isn't hurting. I don't know why. It's not going to do anything except push her away. I think ignoring them is the key, if she really loved me she'll show up again in my life.

 

Will I take her back? As she is right now? No, if I saw that she wanted to make real changes in her life. Also I don't know where I'll be in my life because I'm not waiting around for her.

  • Like 1
BeholdtheMan Established Member

BeholdtheMan

Posted
Posted
I think ignoring them is the key, if she really loved me she'll show up again in my life.
B-I-N-G-O and bingo was his name oh!
  • Like 1
JDPT Established Member

JDPT

Posted
Posted

As stated there is always "one last thing" you need to get off your chest and tell your ex. It's an absolute vicious cycle, safe yourself future grief.

Ireallydontknow Established Member

Ireallydontknow

Posted
Posted

Another thing that helps is when I'm alone sometimes I'll say those final thoughts out loud like I'm talking to her. "You really hurt me and betrayed me, etc." It helps to kind of devalue everything including her. Don't give her the power!

  • Like 1
JDPT Established Member

JDPT

Posted
Posted (edited)
Another thing that helps is when I'm alone sometimes I'll say those final thoughts out loud like I'm talking to her. "You really hurt me and betrayed me, etc." It helps to kind of devalue everything including her. Don't give her the power!

 

I used to do that all the time, now I substituted those statements with statements that will cheer me on telling me that I will be more than ok and will come out of this a new and improved man. I understand how you feel, this is a good technique to get so many things out of your chest.

Edited by JDPT
  • Like 1
Ireallydontknow Established Member

Ireallydontknow

Posted
Posted

Yeah I can see that in the future right now my break up is only 3 days old. It's still so very fresh, and I know she has a new boyfriend already. It hurts!

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...