JDPT Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I guess this happens to the best of us. I was dumped roughly 3.5 months ago and was as yet amazed at the fact that I did not shed one tear during all this time. I recall the shocking news when she wished me the best in this world and said goodbye. And I did at that time feel tears running down my cheeks but ever since none. Lately, I've been going to the movies when I feel a bit down to distract myself and get away from it all at least for that moment and realized how emotional I still am. As I was driving home from the movie theater I felt this tremendous pain in my chest and essentially cried all the way home. I kept asking myself if she is suffering the way I am and why such abrupt decision on her behalf. I've been diligently following all instructions from my therapist and many helpful tips I ready online but we all have our "weak moments" as I like to say when I give advise. The thought of reaching out to her did cross my mind but I immediately said to myself "absolutely not! I've been down that road before" and rerouted my thoughts. Truth is I feel a bit better now considering I had a terrible day today. And realized that it's not so bad to let it all out at times. 1
Sneaky Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Good work on rerouting the thoughts and don't worry about the emotions, it is better than bottling them up. 1
Ireallydontknow Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 What kind of advice did your therapist give you? I'm going to be entering therapy asap when I move. I didn't love myself fully when I was with my ex-fiance. Neither did she, it was volatile at times.
dgiirl Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I think it is perfectly normal what you are going through. I visualize the ups and downs like a leaky faucet and a bucket of water. The bucket can only hold so much before it needs to be emptied out during this time you are also slowly trying to fix the faucet. Eventually you'll get the repairs done, but until then you'll need to empty the bucket once in a while. Sounds like you are doing everything you need to do! 2
Author JDPT Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 I think it is perfectly normal what you are going through. I visualize the ups and downs like a leaky faucet and a bucket of water. The bucket can only hold so much before it needs to be emptied out during this time you are also slowly trying to fix the faucet. Eventually you'll get the repairs done, but until then you'll need to empty the bucket once in a while. Sounds like you are doing everything you need to do! This is an amazing analogy and it certainly resonates. I'm not sure if I've purposely held tears back as there were times when I felt like crying but I just couldn't feel those tears rolling down my cheeks. Truth is, it feels much better to have a good session.
Author JDPT Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 What kind of advice did your therapist give you? I'm going to be entering therapy asap when I move. I didn't love myself fully when I was with my ex-fiance. Neither did she, it was volatile at times. Lots of thought rerouting which is what I did when the thought of contacting her crosses my mind. Focusing on the positives in life that we often take for granted. It's all tailored and situational based on your circumstances. I commend you for starting to see a therapist it's certainly one of the best you can do during times of distress.
jesse93 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I guess this happens to the best of us. I was dumped roughly 3.5 months ago and was as yet amazed at the fact that I did not shed one tear during all this time. I recall the shocking news when she wished me the best in this world and said goodbye. And I did at that time feel tears running down my cheeks but ever since none. Lately, I've been going to the movies when I feel a bit down to distract myself and get away from it all at least for that moment and realized how emotional I still am. As I was driving home from the movie theater I felt this tremendous pain in my chest and essentially cried all the way home. I kept asking myself if she is suffering the way I am and why such abrupt decision on her behalf. I've been diligently following all instructions from my therapist and many helpful tips I ready online but we all have our "weak moments" as I like to say when I give advise. The thought of reaching out to her did cross my mind but I immediately said to myself "absolutely not! I've been down that road before" and rerouted my thoughts. Truth is I feel a bit better now considering I had a terrible day today. And realized that it's not so bad to let it all out at times. Sometimes its nice to cry, I myself haven't cried at all I've had moments where i want to cry but i just can't the tears wont come.. even during the break up i couldnt cry i cried before hand knowing it was going to end but when the break up actually happened.. the tears didn't come and ever since then no tears have shed either, I always wonder if she feels the same pain as i do also, in my mind shes living a happy life without me while i sit here in pain, but I'm glad you didn't reach out man, stay strong.
Virgil876 Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 It's good, sometimes we all need a cry to let it all out and to reset things. I cried the next night I got dumped, and a bit teary the next two nights, haven't had that anymore and it has been 3 weeks.
Author JDPT Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 I thought I was emotionally numbing myself by not crying and that's one of the last things I wanted to do. I knew sooner or later it would catch up to me. What a relief afterwards.
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