blue80 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 I had a crash on a guy when i was about 9 years, he was 13, so he definitely didnot notice me and given that the school had very large numbers. When i was 14 years i met this guy again and he did finally notice me, we used to meet at a local club for day time dances, i was still very shy and much as he kissed me a couple of times , we didnt get to talk about stuff or even have a proper date, it was like a couple of chance meetings.Then he went to study abroad, we did loose contact completely after that, but because he was my first crush and first kiss i do consider him my first love. Even during those years i that i lost contact with him, i did keep a candle lit some where in the background for him, i told one or two of my friends about him and i did wonder in my heart what it would have been like????? I got married at 25 and moved on, in 2012 i landed on this guy while looking through a friends linkedin account, i got in touch with him but unfrortunately he didnt not remember me which was very sad considering all the years i had kept the little question marks in my head. At the beginning of this year i did walk out on my marriage because of some issues there. I moved to a new country to start a new life away from accident scene so i could block out those images. About 3 months ago, my heart/mind once again roamed off to the little question marks again and i decided to open a linkiden account just to get in touch with him and even posted my photo. But while i did this i was damn scared of his rejection, but fortunately his reception was warm. I remember the first time he replied a message i had sent him, i ran to the washrooms at work so i could scream out my excitement. After i contacted him yes he seemed excited and promised to call me, but he took a whole month to finally call. When he did call he promised he would come over to see me in december. I eagerly await him but the problem is, he doesnot communicate and you know how lonely it gets when you are beginning a new life away from home with no friends and basically no social life, so i normally text him and he does reply but he never texts me first which is annoying and also he has not called me since that time which is like 2 months ago. Much as i feel God has blessed to be able to a have a second chance with my first love i feel very frustrated too. Right now they are 2 guys who want to date me, but i have been avoiding them because i feel it would be cheating, but since my 'first love' isnt so forth coming, sometimes i feel may be i should date other people to take my thoughts off him coz i find myself thinking about him all the time. He has a very demanding job and seems to even put in extra hours but for sure if you love someone enough you can spare a minute for an sms, not so? I need some advice please.
Philosoraptor Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 He's not your first love, he's some kid you had a crush on when you were a child. Though I agree you shouldn't date this potential men, since you've already built the fantasy in your head that this man from over a decade ago is your true love, and no other man, even your husband, will ever have an honest chance. He doesn't contact you often and doesn't seem to keep his word. Sounds like you're caught in a fantasy world and it's wreaking havoc in your real world. 1
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