He wants to do everything the same, but still be broken up?

[Ladyluck2090]

Sorry, this is veeeery long. Ok. So my "fiancé" and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. We now have a 6 month old son. He works 40 hours a week, and I am a stay at home mom. About a month after he was born my fiancé and I starts to fight a lot. My fiancé doesn't do a lot with my son. He plays with him, but that's all. He doesn't change his diaper or give him baths, and if I ask him to he rolls his eyes and acts like its the hardest thing ever. I can't ever go out because I breastfeed and my son won't take a bottle AT all. So I can't even leave him with his father for very long. The longest he's ever been alone with his dad was probably only 2 hrs. But his father can go out for as long as he wants no problem. But when he does I get annoyed because I cant. I get very lonely and he's my only source of adult interaction during the day. I feel like he only wants the "fun" parts of having a baby, and leaves the unfun stuff for me to deal with.

 

The other night we got in a fight about how he can go out but I can't. I snapped as said I didn't think he could "handle" our son by himself. He took it as me saying he was a worthless father. Which was not at all what I meant. Well he broke up with me he was so mad. He said he wants to try to work things out though. While we're taking a "break" we have rules that neither of us can do anything crazy or be with anyone else. I asked him I he thought we'd get back together and he said he's "pretty sure" we will.

 

Here's where my question comes in. We are momentarily staying with his grandma till Friday when we can move into a house. My "fiancé" plans to stay at his grandma till he knows if he wants to get back together. He still wants to move me and our son into the house though. He will be paying for the rent and everything ecause I don't have a job. He told me even if we break up for good he still wants to pay for us, because that's what's best for our son. He will even be the only one signing the lease so if he doesn't pay rent he's in trouble, not me. But I've been staying with him at his grandmas till we can move into the house. But he's not acting like we're broken up. He still is being pretty nice (if not nicer?) and helping more. My problem is still wants to touch me lovingly and say I love you and kiss an have sex. Everything is basically the same but were not "together." I told him I refuse to har sex with someone I'm not "with" even if we've had sex numerous times before. I just can't do it. He got really annoyed and sad I'm acting childishly and like we don't know each other. But people who've broke up don't have sex right? He says he wants everything like before only, we're not together.

 

Seriously that just makes me feel like a whore. Do you think he honestly thinks we will get back together so that's why he's getting mad I won't have sex with him. I'm really confused by the way he's acting. Actually, he seems confused too.

[Sneaky]

I'm really confused by the way he's acting. Actually, he seems confused too.

 

I'm confused as well. This is pretty strange behavior from him and I might not have the best advice but honestly; I would try to just have another talk with him and try to make it more clear what you meant.

[flitzanu]

he's being stupid and immature. you can't be with someone and not be with someone. either he wants to be with you, or he doesn't, you don't get it both ways.

 

also i would be very leery of all his "promises" about financial security...this whole thing sounds incredibly crazy.

 

not to mention...he's being a terrible father. you already know this and when you pointed it out he threw a fit. is that really who you want in your son's life?

[JDPT]

He wants to live a fantasy with no responsibility. It's clearly convenient for him, works beautifully for him but sadly is not reality.

[Sugarkane]

I read the title of this post and thought is a dumper really this callous/ stupid?