Where to go from here

[Backontrack31]

Well this is my story in a nutshell. It's 8-12-13, and we broke up about 3 weeks ago. We dated for a year and she lived with me for 7 months. We had a great relationship and we did a lot together and spent a lot of time together. We broke up over trivial things, little arguments here and there, and not really going out and having fun consistently towards the end of our relationship. She broke up with me. When we broke up, she moved out and I immediatly felt very lonely.

 

We talked the day after we split for an hour on the phone which solved nothing. The next day she text me hope you days going good. 4 days after we split I found out she was texting and hanging out with a different guy. Day 5 days after the split we made plans to hang out and we did. I told her that I didn't want to lose her and wanted to be with her, she said she missed me so much and agreed. She came over that night only to turn cold on day 6. By the weekend a week after we broke up we were back together only to be broken up by Sunday (she text me and told me she couldn't be with me). That following week was hard she would text me dumb stuff, like have a good night, then I saw a pic she posted of that guy and her on her Fb. It mad me mad as hell. I called her and told her to never speak or text me again or I will change my number. She text me the next day, about getting some stuff she left over my house. I replied like an idiot and told her it will be on the step just get it. She never came and said she would try to get it later(bull****).

 

2.5 weeks now after the break up, *I then got a call that fri night at 330am from her drunk crying saying she missed me, I assume her new guy did something wrong or disrespectful. I told her I missed her too but I can't keep doing this, I actually believed she cared at that moment and was being honest. We talked for 40min and agreed to talk the next night. This is now almost 3 weeks we've been broken up. Sat night she was suppose to meet me at my house after work. She text me after work saying she was tired could I come to her place? I agreed. She then text me 30 min later saying I will only come outside to talk?? I was like I'm not coming. She then started blowing up my cell , why not etc. i ended up going we talked and were open with each other. We decided to try and make a commitment and do something the next day. Everything looked good. She text me after I left 3 or 4 positive texts basically showing that she cared. The next morning I called, text and nothing. She text me back and said she was not going. I text her and said thanks, I don't understand why? But I just left it at we could of had a great fun day today, I hope your day goes well.

 

That was that. I plan on not contacting her anymore I've giving her enough chances. Also we've never gone with more then 2 days without some type of communication with each other, so I'm interested to see how long it will take her to text me. I do care about her and I'm wondering did I blow my chances at possibly getting back together by looking to needy and not going into no contact sooner? Respectful Opinions appricated please. Thanks

Edited August 13, 2013 by Backontrack31

[Sneaky]

I don't think so. She seems unsure of what she wants. If you're meant to be together it will happen, in the meanwhile try and focus on other things. Going NC seems like a good idea for now.

[Backontrack31]

Seems like exactly what I was thinking too. Thank you

[Backontrack31]

I would also like to add that i did call her about 10x not in a row of course the last day we were suppose to hang out. She didnt answer. I blocked her on my cell from texting amd she finally called. I also called her a couple different times at once on about 3 different occasions during this 3 weeks "trying to

Get her back" period after we broke up. Just wanted to clarify my behavior to the T. Never have I been disrespectful jus open and honest which seemed like the wrong thing to do.

[JDPT]

Something I learned when my girl dumped me is that from the moment she decided to let me go we were now strangers and she made that very clear with the things she said to me. I wasn't shocked but a bit surprised at her adamant reaction, she really meant business. What I'm trying to say is that is doesn't matter what she thinks or does at this point or being polite, respectful or what have you. She is now a separate person and you are a stand alone unit that need to fend for yourself and no one else. Internalized what occurred and analyze from an objective perspective, in time it will start making sense and if it doesn't that's perfectly fine as you don't have to understand everything that occurred during and after the relationship.

[Backontrack31]

At first I didn't want to believe that and I selfishly tried to fight to not have that happen. After yesterday, when she once again blew me off after

Promising to spend the day together, I have excepted it.

[JDPT]

The effort on her behalf is simply not there, she chooses not to prioritize and quiet honestly is her decision. Focus on yourself and embark on your recovery journey, you are all that matters from this point forward.

[Backontrack31]

Your correct on that. Thank you for your reply!

[Backontrack31]

Sorry to keep posting but it keep

Thinking of more info

To add in.

 

I find myself continuing to look at her Fb and instagram. I see that she keeps adding guys on both which is very upsetting. I read a post in the forum which explained grass is greener syndrome, and i believe this is what Has happened. Also it just seems like the first day I have no contact and she starts approving a bunch of dudes to follow her and friend her on her social

Media sites... Heartbreaking to

Say the least.

[templeofmax]

DON'T LOOK AT THOSE!!! After 4 months, 2 months NC on my behalf (she ignored everything before) I see her FB and she is taking a trip with cousins, putting some random **** about looking for her correspondence, and looking all happy!!! I can bet it is just a show, cause after a 2.5 relationship with genuine love with someone who is not a whore or who left me for somebody else, there is no way she will feel so happy as he looks there. So I stopped looking and caring WTF she is doing. I still have hope cause I do love her, but NC is where I am right now, but when I look at those, of course I get the anxiety and the rage, and I dream about her, and what good is that? It SETS ME BACK!!!

 

So first, don't stalk her on the internet cause it won't help you. Second of all, she knows you are doing that, and no disrespect intended, but unless she was a whore, which I guess she wasn't, she is doing it just as a show. Its been only 3 weeks. Maybe its her insecure way of wanting to hear from you, but then you would be playing her game or maybe out of spite, or who knows. Only she knows. She has the power right now. Take it from her by not looking at those! If you have to block her, do so. Even if you still want to rekindle things in the future, don't play her game.

 

A month post-breakup my ex posted a picture looking all happy with the caption 'such is life, embracing it with all the passion'. 15 people put 'LIKE'!! I saw that and my heart skipped two beats. Now, without the anxiety consuming me, and reasoning things, what a bunch of BS!!!! Passive aggressive way of showing that everything is dandy, and maybe, knowing that I would look at her FB, trying to hurt me because I hurt her. Women can be vengeful and spiteful sometimes, but remember that the contrary of love is indifference. I would be more worried if she wasn't putting anything at all. This, she is hurt, and wanting to make up for it. In your case it could be the same, or it could not. But you looking at her FB won't solve the dilemma and will HURT you.

[Backontrack31]

I agree. It's hard not to look, and I know she did that on purpose with that dude because she defriended me in Fb when we broke up and I couldnt see anything, a weeks later and now I see everything even though we arnt friends? Not a coincidence. Thank you for your story and reply. I'm going to block her and I am also posting pics of myself on fb

looking very

Happy so hopefully she sees them!

[templeofmax]

Man, if you block her, how would she see them? If you can't resist the temptation then do block her, but if you can, don't show your hand by doing so. Then she will know you are giving her importance, show you are hurt and she still has the power. I know its immature, but I have learned the hard way that few people can really be honest with their feelings post BU, so immaturity takes hold. So if she is being immature like this (after all, you say she did this after unblocking you), then don't play the same game. Show her INDIFFERENCE. Of course put some pictures looking good, with friends, etc. No jealousy crap, cause she will read into it or worse, if you still have a chance, you may blow it. Just show that you are confident. I know it is hard, but you have to do it. What I did about 2 months ago was block my FB account. Well, my sister changed the password so Ic ouldn't log in since FB its such a freaking temptation. I haven't really missed FB, but maybe because my mind is occupied with missing my ex. But like that, I am showing indifference. She did block me off FB at my request, but if she does unblock me, I am not there, and I am NC, so now I am taking the power from her. She is hurt and showing it in a passive aggressive way, but I am showing indifference. Of course it took me 2 months to get there, but maybe you can do it faster. So if you can avoid it, don't look at her FB, but don't block her. Just post those pics, but give it a weeks or so.

[Backontrack31]

Ok sounds good. I will do that! Thanks for your advice