iSquare Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 (edited) Hi everyone. I would really wanna go into details of how me and my ex were a lovely couple until the breakup happened but i know that doesnt matter now. Anyway i love this lady so much but she doesnt want to continue in a realtionship with me and even at one point offered me her friendship which i refused because i told her i cant pretend to be her friend after everything, the memories and the intimate moments we had. Her breakup with me was hard to take because just before she broke up we were discussing our future togehter and how she wants our marraige to be etc. The thing is we have both been through a lot for 2 and half years and we were there for each other so she appreciates that but she still wants a breakup no matter what. Now here's my part, i know normally you need to give her some space to think things through but she moved to another state and shes working in a place that she's indoors all the time so the issue of another guy is not the case here. A friend of mine told me she jokingly said she wanted help to find a new person so that means she doesnt have anything like that going on and i can guarantee for the next three months she's gonna be in a situation where she can't possibly be meeting any new guy unless she wants to take the risk of dating someone else through phone. That being said i first was in a shock because we have struggled togehter and made it together, then i wanted answers so i called her several times in a day and honestly she would respond to all the calls . Even now if i call her she will still answer the call but because i knew that, i kept calling and pleading telling her im sorry and whatever situation it is we will get through it so she just to be patient and know we are in a difficult place right now. Then she sometimes agrees but still wants to breakup. That surprises me a lot and so i went NC for a week and when i called she answered, told her i miss her but she didnt respond to that and i started again how i want to spend my life with her and i love her, basically pleading. I have done that for almost 2 month now but im not getting any response from her, the only thing im getting is that she is not sure wheter coming back is right for her or not and she's scared she might regret her decision later on. I really don't understand that becasue its not like i cheated or hurt her in anyway she just went blank and started telling me stuff that i did wrong throughout the relationship like not responding to her calls or text on this day or that day etc. I will be honest i have cried, pleaded and begged that whatever it is we can get through together but its not doing me any good. What should i do? What do you think about my situation and what do you suggest i should do? NC again for long this time and why? Edited August 12, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Lei Ping Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Have you ever had someone to whom you're really not attracted beg and plead with you to be in a relationship with you? It makes them seem even less attractive and after awhile their attention while initially flattering begins to seem menacing and you get to the point where you're willing to go far out of your way to avoid them. Right now that's you.
JDPT Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 It's evident that you have pleaded and begged sufficiently. Based on what you have disclosed she has absolutely no clue what she wants. It's time to start thinking about yourself now. Clearly all relationships are "perfect" and "lovely" until it hits the fan and it has for you, so it's time to be selfish as harsh as that may sound and remain NC. I think you take advantage of the fact that she still answers your calls when you reach out to her, but in reality you are only prolonging the inevitable. Save yourself some grief and move along.
forgetmenot75 Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 You should go no contact for, at least 6 weeks. that's what you should do. Right now you're way too emotional, and you can't see things clearly. she has stated her desire to find someone else. that should be enough for you to understand she doesn't love you anymore. Stop putting yourself in that place where your self esteem is below zero. Be a man (hate to say this, Im sorry, but is the only way you can understand) and give her her space. do you think she wants a doormat? I'm sure she want's a man, and you're a doormat right now. Keep no contact, and ignore her for a while. 1
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