Pyro Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 I'm not sure if this thread should have even been created for my topic but lets proceed. So over this weekend I discovered that one of my closest friends marriage is ending. I won't go into details of the reasons why but they were together for about 5 years and then married not even a year ago. I also discovered that a co-worker of Mrs. Pyro ended her engagement for reasons that I will not discuss either. You can't deny that the number of marriages that fail are much higher than they were 20 years ago and the news that I discovered over the weekend really hit close to home being that we know these people. I could easily go into panic mode and start shunning the institute of marriage but I am married so that would be highly hypocritical of me. Instead of becoming scared and spiteful I am reminded even more that I need to continue to take my marriage seriously and not take anything for granted. Some may say that I am against the odds but I am content on proving the naysayers wrong and have a life lasting happy marriage. 16
Woggle Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 It's okay to admit that is making you uneasy. I don't see how any man these days can feel secure in his marriage with the way things are going.
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 It's okay to admit that is making you uneasy. I don't see how any man these days can feel secure in his marriage with the way things are going. But pyro, nor you, are those other men who are in those situations. You both are married to women who LOVE their husbands. You both have wives who want to make the effort, they are happy and in love with you two bozo's! Men (nor women) are lemmings. Each of you can live life and make up your own minds and be aware, yes issues and problems are going on all around us but 'we are happy and will never let anybody or anything come between us.' Just sayin'. 3
Author Pyro Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 Let me make one thing clear: I FEEL SECURE IN MY MARRIAGE I am not up half the night worried that she will leave me based on what happens to others. We are an individual couple, just like everyone else in a relationship. 6
Woggle Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 But pyro, nor you, are those other men who are in those situations. You both are married to women who LOVE their husbands. You both have wives who want to make the effort, they are happy and in love with you two bozo's! Men (nor women) are lemmings. Each of you can live life and make up your own minds and be aware, yes issues and problems are going on all around us but 'we are happy and will never let anybody or anything come between us.' Just sayin'. They love us now. Any divorced man can tell you how quick a woman can change on you and you never see it coming.
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 (edited) Let me make one thing clear: I FEEL SECURE IN MY MARRIAGE I am not up half the night worried that she will leave me based on what happens to others. We are an individual couple, just like everyone else in a relationship. When I said pyro nor you, I mean wog. 2am tired head here! Yeah I know you two are fine. This just happened. My H left me just now! ========== To the spare bedroom because I have bad gas and he couldn't take it anymore. Edited August 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Obtuse use of thread space redacted. 4
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 They love us now. Any divorced man can tell you how quick a woman can change on you and you never see it coming. Yes. sometimes things and people change. Just like you can change. How many times have you nearly bailed out on your marriage and had thoughts of leaving your wife because you fear she *might* leave you 'someday'. Woggle, luv ya and all but in your own mind you're at times 'gone' from your marriage mentally and emotionally. I hope you see this? You don't go to your wife telling her you need MORE TLC from her because you're feeling doubtful or letting past hurts/pain/insecurities/fears get to you. If you did let her in like this I honestly believe you'd feel MORE secure and not worry so much that 'one day' you'll end up in D. 1
Woggle Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 To me if something seems to be happening to every other person it seems very naive to believe it won't happen to me.
Author Pyro Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 This just happened. My H left me just now! To the spare bedroom because I have bad gas and he couldn't take it anymore. I left my wife. Just to the living room because I had too much caffeine at dinner time. 3
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 To me if something seems to be happening to every other person it seems very naive to believe it won't happen to me. Shi.tty way to live. Be in fear and wait for the 'divorce' that more than likely will not happen. At least by your wife's hands. Sorry but if you end up divorced it'll be by your own doing....You'll be the one leaving her out of fear and it'll happen. Stop with the glass half empty! God, you're missing out on the NOW and so much happiness and life over all worrying about stuff that isn't going to happen to you.
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 I left my wife. Just to the living room because I had too much caffeine at dinner time. Ha! My reason for having gas. Had coffee (2 cups actually and chocolate cake) with some neighbours around 10pm. Dumb move.. 3
Author Pyro Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 WWIU I love you as much as it is possible to love a Canadian but please lets not turn this into therapy for Woggle. He has about 5,000,000 other threads for that. Trying to keep this more in the general sense about marriage or if someone wants to discus their own marriage. 1
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 WWIU I love you as much as it is possible to love a Canadian but please lets not turn this into therapy for Woggle. He has about 5,000,000 other threads for that. Trying to keep this more in the general sense about marriage or if someone wants to discus their own marriage. Gotcha. Nice puck shot at the Canadian girl eh. That was funny. 3
sweetjasmine Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 So over this weekend I discovered that one of my closest friends marriage is ending. I won't go into details of the reasons why but they were together for about 5 years and then married not even a year ago. I also discovered that a co-worker of Mrs. Pyro ended her engagement for reasons that I will not discuss either. You can't deny that the number of marriages that fail are much higher than they were 20 years ago and the news that I discovered over the weekend really hit close to home being that we know these people. I could easily go into panic mode and start shunning the institute of marriage but I am married so that would be highly hypocritical of me. Instead of becoming scared and spiteful I am reminded even more that I need to continue to take my marriage seriously and not take anything for granted. Some may say that I am against the odds but I am content on proving the naysayers wrong and have a life lasting happy marriage. Exactly. It should serve as a reminder to take your relationship seriously and nurture it. People act as if it's a total crapshoot whether your relationship is long-lasting. People seem to think that one day, you wake up with the flu and the I'm-leaving-my-spouse-for-no-reason virus that they caught from that coworker who sneezed near the coffee machine three days ago. Even though you don't want to divulge any details, if the failing relationships I've seen are anything to go by, both people took actions that led to the end state. In some cases, they shouldn't have been together in the first place. Sometimes, things don't work out, but I think we all have more power to direct the outcome than we think we do. It just takes effort and self-awareness. And, yes, I can deny that the number of marriages failing are higher now than 20 years ago. The divorce rate has been dropping. 2
JustJoe Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Since I quit being the OM and became the husband, I have begun noticing the number of failed marriages around us, and it used to give me the cobbles, until I look at my Honey and Bambino, and remember how much heartache and work it took us to get to this place. I guess it's like William Blake , " Til we have made Jerusalem, of England's green and pleasant Land". We can't make the world into Jerusalem, but we CAN make our little part of it. Other marriages may fail, but we CAN make ours endure. 4
Author Pyro Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 People act as if it's a total crapshoot whether your relationship is long-lasting. People seem to think that one day, you wake up with the flu and the I'm-leaving-my-spouse-for-no-reason virus that they caught from that coworker who sneezed near the coffee machine three days ago. Even though you don't want to divulge any details, if the failing relationships I've seen are anything to go by, both people took actions that led to the end state. In some cases, they shouldn't have been together in the first place. Sometimes, things don't work out, but I think we all have more power to direct the outcome than we think we do. It just takes effort and self-awareness. And, yes, I can deny that the number of marriages failing are higher now than 20 years ago. The divorce rate has been dropping. I only know a few things relating to the co-worker but for my friend there have been some ongoing issues that they both can be blamed for. Pretty hilarious that anyone would think that a decision to end a marriage just comes out of no where. It takes time and many events for it to occur. Can you provide a source? Maybe it is from my time spent on LS but I hear about divorces more frequently than I would like to. 1
Author Pyro Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 I guess it's like William Blake , " Til we have made Jerusalem, of England's green and pleasant Land". We can't make the world into Jerusalem, but we CAN make our little part of it. Other marriages may fail, but we CAN make ours endure. I like that quote. It is insane if anyone expects perfection. Divorces, betrayal, heartbreak, etc. are going to occur on a daily basis. Unless you die or live on a deserted island there is no way to avoid it, so it is best to not pay attention to it and pay attention instead to what you have been blessed with.
tbf Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 I left my wife. Just to the living room because I had too much caffeine at dinner time.I leave mine in bed near nightly. Because I can. 1
JustJoe Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 I like that quote. It is insane if anyone expects perfection. Divorces, betrayal, heartbreak, etc. are going to occur on a daily basis. Unless you die or live on a deserted island there is no way to avoid it, so it is best to not pay attention to it and pay attention instead to what you have been blessed with.It's Ok to pay attention to it, if you can use that knowledge to make your own situation better. Something like, (note to self, don't go out with the guys 3 nights a week) Something like that.
Author Pyro Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 It's Ok to pay attention to it, if you can use that knowledge to make your own situation better. Something like, (note to self, don't go out with the guys 3 nights a week) Something like that. Let me rephrase: yes it is ok to notice it but don't let it control you and your feelings. Better? 1
tbf Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 The only eventualities are death, taxes and Vancouver Canucks choking during the playoffs. Read my signature. If all people can do is bitch and moan about the state of marriage, always looking at the negatives instead of the things that take our breath away, their marriage is headed for one of the eventualities. 3
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Let me rephrase: yes it is ok to notice it but don't let it control you and your feelings. Better? Yeah but don't give it much thought. And yes, don't let it control you or your feelings. I could wake up tomorrow and get hit by a bus or car when I cross the street. Am I gonna worry about it? Nope. I could get into an accident. I could maybe not wake up and die in the middle of the night (knock on wood). If it happens it happens it's out of my hands. STuff happens in life so you can either let it upset you and ruin your life or you can put it out of your head and just enjoy today and the NOW. 1
JustJoe Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 OR, WWIU, You can build for the future. Hope is as much an action as it is an emotion. I have one hope sleeping in our Nursery, and another in my Honeys' belly, so I've got plenty!! 2
tbf Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Once quality is part of your marriage, duration will come naturally. Marriage isn't an endurance race.
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