napy666 Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 My ex boyfriend of 2 years ago of course dated a few girls after our breakup and as of April last year he has been with this one girl who's big like him and she has a little girl 1-2 years old. My question is this, why would someone a guy or girl want to be with a single mom or single dad and take over as that role for the kid? He had me, a girl who was not tied down by any kids, was a virgin, wanted to get married, had a good head on her shoulders and so much to offer this man. But yet he leaves me to enjoy the party lifestyle and then ends up with this girl? It doesn't make sense to me. Why do and why would people do this?
CptSaveAho Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 (edited) he cant be alone .... Edited August 12, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Inflammatory language redacted
New User Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Attraction isn't decided by an equation. There's not really any reason to try to understand it. You're not with him anymore. You shouldn't care who he's with or why. Yeah, I get wanting to have some kind of answer, but you aren't entitled to it and there isn't going to be any answer likely to give you some sense of peace. Good luck getting past this. 2
D-Lish Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 (edited) Why? Because you can't always choose who you like- and sometimes, even though it doesn't make sense to other people- it makes sense to you, and ultimately, that's all that matters. Edited August 12, 2013 by D-Lish 2
hoping2heal Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 My ex boyfriend of 2 years ago of course dated a few girls after our breakup and as of April last year he has been with this one girl who's big like him and she has a little girl 1-2 years old. My question is this, why would someone a guy or girl want to be with a single mom or single dad and take over as that role for the kid? I'm sure very few people go intentionally looking for someone with children to date. Obviously though he met someone who he liked and she has children and he was willing to assume the position. He had me, a girl who was not tied down by any kids, was a virgin, wanted to get married, had a good head on her shoulders and so much to offer this man. But yet he leaves me to enjoy the party lifestyle and then ends up with this girl? I'm not saying this to be mean or to pick on you, but you're very naive. I have seen many of your posts and you come across as someone very very naive about many things who has much personal growth to experience yet. You said you had so much to offer this man but what things did you have to offer him, exactly? 1
carhill Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 He had me, a girl who was not tied down by any kids, was a virgin, wanted to get married, had a good head on her shoulders and so much to offer this man. But yet he leaves me to enjoy the party lifestyle and then ends up with this girl? It doesn't make sense to me. Why do and why would people do this? Relationship compatibility turns upon a confluence of factors. At your young ages, change is far more common than the status quo. When people change, relationships can change too. In this case, the factors you see as positives for you personally apparently didn't fit with his perspectives on relationships at the time of your breakup. One or both of you changed, either personally or in your perception of the other, and the relationship didn't survive that change. A single mother who's 'big like he is' could very well bring factors to the table which he finds attractive and work for him in the now. What tomorrow brings is unknown. Since you're broken up, his relationships are his business now, regardless of how they might seem to you. Focus on yourself and growing your positives and looking for a man with whom you find synergy. Good luck. 1
Arabella Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 My ex boyfriend of 2 years ago of course dated a few girls after our breakup and as of April last year he has been with this one girl who's big like him and she has a little girl 1-2 years old. My question is this, why would someone a guy or girl want to be with a single mom or single dad and take over as that role for the kid? He had me, a girl who was not tied down by any kids, was a virgin, wanted to get married, had a good head on her shoulders and so much to offer this man. But yet he leaves me to enjoy the party lifestyle and then ends up with this girl? It doesn't make sense to me. Why do and why would people do this? I longed for my freedom desperately when I was engaged to my ex, and I said I wanted to be single again. Guess what I did? I got into a relationship, got pregnant (on purpose) and engaged again! The problem wasn't that I wanted to be experience the single life again. The issue was that my ex was inadequate for what I really wanted: a family, and a stable life. Sounds to me like he missed the "party lifestyle" because he did not find his relationship with you to be sufficiently fulfilling. That simple. Otherwise, he wouldn't have gone and gotten into another relationship. You act like you're so much better than this other woman he's with now... that is off-putting on to itself. Why do you think you're better? Because you were a virgin and have a "good head on your shoulders?" According to whom? Maybe what he wanted was someone with more life experience and sense of responsibility, which something like having a child can definitely bring. Bottom line... whatever it is that he wanted in a relationship, you didn't have it, and the new woman does. That's why he's with her, and not partying like he said he wanted to when he left you. 2
Author napy666 Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 I see well I guess I'm just a loser. Everyone else is living their happily ever afters with their someone and I got no one.
stillafool Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Because he fell in love with her and couldn't picture his life without her. He must really love her since he wants to help her raise another man's children. She is very lucky. 1
Author napy666 Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 He told me he loved and cared for me to death. And would always love.care for me.
Star Gazer Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 You're acting like a single mother is somehow "less than." I'd venture that with your attitude, she's actually "more than." 2
stillafool Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 He told me he loved and cared for me to death. And would always love.care for me. The thing is actions speak louder than words. He is acting on his love for her.
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 Some people are more attracted to single parents... on a deep, evolutionary basis it indicates that they're fertile and a good bet for a partner. On an emotional level, it could be that the characteristics that make her able to care for a child (being strong, resilient, motivated etc.) make her more attractive in his eyes because she has her sh*t together and isn't dependent on anybody. Or he could enjoy playing 'house' and having a 'pretend family' because it's something he's never explored before, which may crash and burn. He's not yours anymore, stop analysing it.
aussietigerwolf Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I see well I guess I'm just a loser. Everyone else is living their happily ever afters with their someone and I got no one. being single doesn't make you a loser...
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