Online friend (Best buddie) met, slept and doesn't want to stay close or meet again

[duped]

I met this guy online through facebook, as we both had many mutual friends. So he was genuine person and I became friends with him online. Knowing him more and talking almost daily, I fell in love with him. After few days, he initiated phone sex call talks. Initially, I shunned the idea but later, because I loved him and wanted to attract him, I didn't mind doing dirty talk on the phone. He realized that I was getting emotionally attracted to him and so he made a decision to stop all the phone sex talks and even stopped normal video chats with me. He insisted that we remain just friends but I loved him too much. We continued to talk and ofcourse he started behaving weird and getting disinterested in me and all. But after almost a year of our staying in touch, (like almost best buddies), he had some business work in my locality and so decides to meet me. The meet happened to be at my place. I was very excited to be with him as I loved him, remember ?

When we met, we hugged and after that, I couldn't stop myself from cuddling him. Our chemistry was awesome and more so he being "just a guy" I can't say for sure if his physical intimacy was anything more than being physical but I could somehow feel some emotions flow.

So here's the whole thing and an important part I would like to share. Please don't read between the lines as it was exactly how I am stating right now. We did not have sex! He knew I am a virgin and I insisted that we didn't have sex. But from our hugs and cuddles, it went on the bed. We lied together, on top of each other, he undressed me but we both had our undies on. First time in my life I was bra-less for a guy. He sucked my b**bs and fingered me down. He tried to give me pleasure which was nice. He requested me to BJ him but since I've never done it and found gross, I tried taking it in my mouth thrice but didn't really suck it. That is about it.

We also had a good time apart from this, just random talk and outing. He is a nice guy that way, and we've talked a lot about everything that has nothing to do with sex too.

In a gist, I went naked but had undies on, he sucked my boobs and fingered me down, we kissed and I took his d**k thrice in my mouth but don't think that I turned him on enough. I am new and not a slut, come on! I did all this only because I am so much in love with him.

He was since day one of our online friendship determined to not getting married to me because he would do it with the one his family decides for him. But there have been sessions when I said him I love you and he said it back to me too. Though it has been long since he stopped,( remember he felt I was getting too emotional?)

I want to ask you all, was I used? Does getting used only mean letting a guy have "sex" with you or does it mean what we did too? Was mine a one night stand ? I hope not. The thought of it kills me and makes me feel used.

He left the other day and when he was going to be for his business work around for the next couple of days, I insisted we met but he denied saying I was getting too attached and he didn't want to hurt me in future. This gave me a double feeling of being used (like did things and then goodbye).

After a few days, when he felt that I was being too clingy, he blackmailed me saying he would talk about the whole situation to some of our mutual facebook friends as he was getting scared of my behavior and it made him felt that I would actually commit suicide. He also blackmailed me saying he was going to call the police the other day to be safe of blame if I did something to myself. I replied to him on this saying politely that I love him and would never want him to suffer by doing something so low.

That's the whole story, was I used ? Please help me. We are still in touch and I am trying my best to reduce contact because on the same day he blackmailed me , I reduced contact with him and that very day he himself initiated contact through chat asking me how I was doing and what was going on. So you see, he doesn't want me out of his life but doesn't want me in his life. I am all good with whatever he wants. It's just that I want to know if what we did that day at my place was immoral ? We really didn't indulge in literal penetration sex, not even genitals touching each other. Please help me I hate the feeling of being used. I don't want to deny though, that I totally loved being with him and time spent with him and the physical interaction I had with him.

[Omei]

Wow he's a huge jerk, cut all contact forget about him he wants to blackmail you? This doesn't sounds like love to me from his end.

 

And this mighttttt be crossing the line on my part but you need to find a way to like sucking the D. Majority of men like it and want it, theres not much else to do oraly to a straight man, you'll find this true.

 

If he doesnt wanna see you again best move on, to me it did sound like he used you. Hope im wrong.