DanielStone Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 So, basically, I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now... We text and we sometimes see each other around town ect and every time we speak there is always a bit of flirting and tongue and cheek kind of jokes. Yet, every time I sort of near towards us going out somewhere together (Important to recognise I never used the word date) she always kinda backs off and we don't talk as we normally do.. This has happened twice now! Can someone please clarify for me whether she is actually interested but maybe shy or if I'm just wasting my time... Thanks Dan
ScreamingTrees Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Why not just be up front about it? Tell her you don't want to beat around the bush, just get to the point that you'd like to take her out to do something together, and she could either decline or accept and there'll be no hard feelings. Let her know that you're interested and don't want to be led on or lead someone to believe that you're not interested in that way. If she's shy, she may appreciate you making the first move. If she doesn't seem the shy type, and seems more than capable of going for someone she fancies, then just give it a shot and if she's not interested, move on, don't waste your time getting all anxious over-thinking things.
white Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 We've all been here. Haven't we? Actually I dunno if we have. I have, quite a few times. You have three options. You either spend another 3+ months pussyfooting around until you somehow get a definitive answer, which will be "no". Not the best choice. You sack up and ask her out directly. Does she, want to go to here, and do this, with you. This is a fast one and you'll feel good once it's done regardless of the answer. Probably the best choice. Or you accept that you've already seen her become agitated at you even trying to start asking, which isn't a good sign, and admit what you already fear: she isn't interested. You've done your softly softly approach and you've come up empty. I'd still go for option 2, because I don't know you or her and what you describe as "not talking as she normally does" may actually be nervous anticipation that you're asking her out, an effort to go poker faced. That you've backed down from a few times now. You won't know until you do.
Frank13 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 She likes the attention but isn't interested in you. Ditch her and move on.
Skyraider829 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 So, basically, I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now... We text and we sometimes see each other around town ect and every time we speak there is always a bit of flirting and tongue and cheek kind of jokes. Yet, every time I sort of near towards us going out somewhere together (Important to recognise I never used the word date) she always kinda backs off and we don't talk as we normally do.. This has happened twice now! Can someone please clarify for me whether she is actually interested but maybe shy or if I'm just wasting my time... Thanks Dan Tongue and cheek joking and flirting? How? I suppose "flirting" can be taken differently by different people so what are your interactions like? Like the others said, she could be nervous because either... (A): She really digs you. (B): She hasn't warmed up to you enough yet - which could be possible. ©: She just is not interested. (D): She has horrible decision-making abilities. Those are four assumptions I'm willing to conclude with. She may be friendly, which is why she is playing along with your jokes. Or, she does like you, she finds you interesting but she has some insecurity about going somewhere with you. Maybe you need more time together. Maybe she presumes that you may not like her or that she might embarrass herself in front of you if you went out to do something. And if she is shy, well mixed signals are bound to happen. Understanding her shyness (if that's why she is acting the way she is) is key to figuring out what to say and how to approach her about going out.
Mrlonelyone Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 There is no way to know what if anything it means. What I am about to say is true of young or emotionally immature women in particular. She may well like you and may want to go with you but she is nervous and lacking confidence herself. She may not know exactly what she wants. Just suggest that you go to place A and time B and do thing C.
Versacehottie Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 So "white" has written a great reply. And i would DEFINITELY go with B as he/she suggested. (I feel like white is a he). I hate to say it but I have probably done EXACTLY what this girl has done many times, especially with guys I liked a lot! If she is anything like me, she is waiting for you to suggest something specific and she slows down the friendly banter because there is an outing/date on the table and she doesn't want to seem overly anxious or desperate until those plans are made. So don't be vague. When guys are vague with me, I'm don't understand either! On top of all that, the confidence you show in trying to set something up specific is attractive in itself--especially among those that are already friends. Even if for some reason she doesn't like you romantically (I would guess she does), you will get to the answer quickly AND handling your life with confidence and proactively is a good feeling--in case she doesn't like you, you will feel like she's the one who is missing out. Rather than if you let it linger and linger, you are less likely to feel bad if it doesn't go the way you would like it to. Good luck and let us know what happens!
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