What does he want? Grrr!!!

[Zahara]

Is this the same guy that you were talking about a month ago that's separated and not showing you much attention?

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/406770-not-his-first-option-but-i-like-him-very-much

 

If it is, what aren't you getting from what everyone is telling you? You keep asking the same questions.

 

And don't send pictures to men that aren't showing you interest. It's desperate and if you think you're turning him on, you're doing the quite the opposite. Men aren't attracted to desperate women, and you are exhibiting that. If they are interested and it's sad if that's the only way you can make them find interest, it's only because they know they can use you.

[forgetmenot75]

Yes, it was that one, thank you for taking the time to do the research

He hasnt replied, and I'm done with him. even if he replies sometime in the future, I'll ignore him. Thank you all.

 

Oh, and I wont send any more pictures. That's something I used to do with the guy from December. It was my ultimate resource. Pretty sad, I know. I was repeating the same mistake again with this guy, difference is the guy from December always replied to me (until the end), and this one just ignored me. I think it's the best thing he could do, so I can focus in other things.

[forgetmenot75]

Just a little update for you guys. He messaged me with a nice comment about the pic.

I won't reply.

[Zahara]

Yes, don't reply. Doesn't seem like it's going anywhere.

[Sunshine87]

Just a little update for you guys. He messaged me with a nice comment about the pic.

I won't reply.

 

What did he say?

[Quiet Storm]

Married guys are never a good option. Separated is still married. Many couples that separate end up reconciling.

 

So instead of the new relationship being about you & him, as it should be, you end up becoming part of their marriage/separation/divorce/reconciliation dynamic.

 

Many divorcing men have a "transition" girl. They use her companionship/sex/emotional support to get through the divorce, and then they end up moving on to a new woman once the divorce is final.

[forgetmenot75]

What did he say?

 

He said, textual: "Nice!! the pool is a good starting point, I'm guessing ;)"

 

 

(I really hope he's not posting in LS too, that'll be funny!)

[forgetmenot75]

Please, help with this:

 

I'm finding myself wanting to contact this guy, I haven't replied to his email yet.

So I was thinking I could write him saying I really want to meet you, and that my hearth rises every time I see his email (ugh, this sound so silly now that I'm writing it here...).

 

What do you think?

[Zahara]

Please, help with this:

 

I'm finding myself wanting to contact this guy, I haven't replied to his email yet.

So I was thinking I could write him saying I really want to meet you, and that my hearth rises every time I see his email (ugh, this sound so silly now that I'm writing it here...).

 

What do you think?

 

Just as you always do...YOU CHASE MEN.

 

You sent him the picture of your legs to attract him? Now you want to tell him how he makes your heart race to stir his interest? If anything, it will boost his ego, make him feel so desired and you will just look like a weak, pathetic, desperate woman.

 

I hate to sound mean but for god's sake get a hold of yourself and find your self-respect. You haven't even met this man and you've lost all control.

Edited August 13, 2013 by Zahara

[forgetmenot75]

Haha, Zahara you're harsh on me, no?

 

I haven't replied to his message yesterday, AND I didn't reply to his message 3 weeks ago either, he must think I'm not interested at all...

[Zahara]

Haha, Zahara you're harsh on me, no?

 

I haven't replied to his message yesterday, AND I didn't reply to his message 3 weeks ago either, he must think I'm not interested at all...

 

What aren't you getting?

 

Yesterday you posted that you sent him a picture of your legs because that is what you did in your last relationship as a last resort to get a man's attention. You said you are repeating bad patterns from your last relationship, whereby you chased him as well.

 

Do you really think you should be focusing on chasing another man, which is what you are again doing? Rather focusing on being alone, seeking therapy and figuring out why you keep getting involved with emotionally unavaible men, as you even acknowledged.

 

People keep telling you he is bad for you. You have spent two months going nuts over a man you haven't even met. You're asking the same questions over and over again.

 

When do you see the big picture? When do you learn? This isn't about one man on a dating site. This is about your overall mental and emotional well-being that should be your first priority. Not another guy that needs chasing because until you fix you, this is what you will always be doing.

[forgetmenot75]

no, no no, he's not married. He's separated, I know the whole story, and I can testify through Facebook. Ex is moved out.

And he might have not asked me out yet because I told him of my previous guy, and that I was finding hard to forget him (the guy from December). He might be scared I'm still thinking of that other guy.

does this sound somewhat reasonable?

[Zahara]

no, no no, he's not married. He's separated, I know the whole story, and I can testify through Facebook. Ex is moved out.

And he might have not asked me out yet because I told him of my previous guy, and that I was finding hard to forget him (the guy from December). He might be scared I'm still thinking of that other guy.

does this sound somewhat reasonable?

 

Separated means nothing. Exes can move out but that does not guarantee anything.

 

People have tried to help you but you don't want to help yourself.

 

Please send him the email and get it over and done with. I believe you will have to keep falling down over and over again until it's time you say enough.

[forgetmenot75]

What aren't you getting?

 

Yesterday you posted that you sent him a picture of your legs because that is what you did in your last relationship as a last resort to get a man's attention. You said you are repeating bad patterns from your last relationship, whereby you chased him as well.

 

Do you really think you should be focusing on chasing another man, which is what you are again doing? Rather focusing on being alone, seeking therapy and figuring out why you keep getting involved with emotionally unavaible men, as you even acknowledged.

 

People keep telling you he is bad for you. You have spent two months going nuts over a man you haven't even met. You're asking the same questions over and over again.

 

When do you see the big picture? When do you learn? This isn't about one man on a dating site. This is about your overall mental and emotional well-being that should be your first priority. Not another guy that needs chasing because until you fix you, this is what you will always be doing.

 

 

not nuts over him at all. I forgot about him when I thought he didn't reply. I really did! Now he emailed me back and I find me again wanting to meet him and asking "what if...?", but I totally forgot about him those 3 weeks I had no contact.

[forgetmenot75]

Not sending the email

I listen to you guys, ALWAYS.

[Zahara]

not nuts over him at all. I forgot about him when I thought he didn't reply. I really did! Now he emailed me back and I find me again wanting to meet him and asking "what if...?", but I totally forgot about him those 3 weeks I had no contact.

 

You sent him a picture of your legs as a last resort to entice him. A man you never even met. Yes, you've lost control over this man.

 

Send him the email and spare everyone repeating themselves over and over again as to why a separated man and someone like you, who has a pattern of chasing unavailable men should not mix.

 

Sometimes people need to crash and burn over and over again to learn.

[forgetmenot75]

I, for sure, don't need to crash again. I wish you've read my previous thread to see how much I've suffered for a guy. Not sending any email. See why I posted here instead?

But, I do think it's pretty usual to share pics, I haven't sent him a pic of me nude, it was just legs with a swimming pool. don't tell me you've never sent a pic of you to a guy you liked...

[Zahara]

I, for sure, don't need to crash again. I wish you've read my previous thread to see how much I've suffered for a guy. Not sending any email. See why I posted here instead?

But, I do think it's pretty usual to share pics, I haven't sent him a pic of me nude, it was just legs with a swimming pool. don't tell me you've never sent a pic of you to a guy you liked...

 

I've read all your threads and posted.

 

I've sent a picture to a guy, yes, to one I've at least met, is showing interest in me and for reasons other than to use it as a last resort to attract his attention. Sending a picture is fine but sending in for the purpose of gaining his attention when he isn't paying you attention is another thing. You fail to focus on the big picture as to why you're doing the things you do.

Edited August 13, 2013 by Zahara

[forgetmenot75]

I've read all your threads and posted.

 

I've sent a picture to a guy, yes, to one I've at least met, is showing interest in me and for reasons other than to use it as a last resort to attract his attention. Sending a picture is fine but sending in for the purpose of gaining his attention when he isn't paying you attention is another thing. You fail to focus on the big picture as to why you're doing the things you do.

 

I fail, that's true. Luckily, LS and you exists