emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Ok besides ONE txt slip up that I made on Thursday last week, there has been NC. Until now, today would be two weeks since she dropped me for no apprent reason... I receive this sms at 2am: hey ___, hope things been goin gd 4u. Thanx for tellin me tht I still have ur support if needed n everything else you had to say it means a lot. I can't start to image how it must feel for you. I try n tell myself tht ur ok n a strong women, tht ur living life the way u want. Only good comes from you ____. You have a Big heart n a lot of love to give to whoever is around u, I am truly sori tht it has ended, nd u got the raw end of the deal. I do know, your a surviver! And will get on with it. Keep intouch.x WTF!! I just cry over and over again.. It hurts so bad!! What does this mean? And what do I do? I still love her!
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 It means nothing as far as reconciling. Not once in there did she even hint at wanting to get back with you. That's her relieving her own guilt for "dropping you for no reason". I wouldn't read anything into it. Stay NC. 5
Author emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 I agree, I actually sent a reply it went like this: It feels like ****, I try my hardest to forget you but it seems ****ing impossible. I'm not living life the way I want only cause I wanted to live my life with you.. I did get the raw end of the deal so to speak, I actually believed you loved me and never expected that msg you sent, so tbh it ripped My heart to bits, plus not seeing you has taken my soul. Anyways, you know where I am... I never lied when I told you I loved you.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I agree, I actually sent a reply it went like this: It feels like ****, I try my hardest to forget you but it seems ****ing impossible. I'm not living life the way I want only cause I wanted to live my life with you.. I did get the raw end of the deal so to speak, I actually believed you loved me and never expected that msg you sent, so tbh it ripped My heart to bits, plus not seeing you has taken my soul. Anyways, you know where I am... I never lied when I told you I loved you. You should not have sent that. Bad idea. Don't ever do that again. Restart NC immediately. 6
Author emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 I never got to tell her how it was, so part of my closure on this is by letting her know whatsup ! So there I did it... I know I broke NC but I feel that had to be said as part of my healing and so she didn't get the easy ride, she needs to know how I feel so she can feel bad. There is always consequences... Why should she not face any?
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I never got to tell her how it was, so part of my closure on this is by letting her know whatsup ! So there I did it... I know I broke NC but I feel that had to be said as part of my healing and so she didn't get the easy ride, she needs to know how I feel so she can feel bad. There is always consequences... Why should she not face any? Those weren't "consequences". In fact, hearing that from you probably made it even easier for her to move on. If you wanted her to feel guilt, not saying anything and making her feel uneasy in that way would have been infinitely more effective. Now she knows she has you on the hook. 2
Author emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 doh well I guess I effffed up
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 doh well I guess I effffed up It happens. Don't do it again though.
Author emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 Yeah ill try not to, tbh I just want her back.
bentleychic Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Yes, don't do it again. Now I need to bleach my eyes after seeing her text. How do people read that type of text speak on a regular basis? Youch! 6
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Lol what do you mean? That text was an awful read. Way too many misspellings and "text speak". If I got a text like that I'd be more mad at the awful grammar and English than the message. 5
CsqMeqE Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 That text was all about feeling sorry and bad for you. Nothing about regret or the affect ending had on him. Seems like a condescending patting you on the top of head and "everything will be fine" type of message. Your response on the other hand was about you and the affect this has had you. Two different types of messages, two different feelings. 2
Author emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 Thanks for your feedback guys yes the txt lingo is poor lol. I know it was a little patronising that's why I felt the urge to say well actually take off your rosé coloured lenses, reality is you hurt me real bad. Feels as though she wants the easy way out hence why I wrote the real feelings involved, tbh I am not a game player and sometimes NC seems to much game playing and trying to be something I'm not. Don't get me wrong I'm not needy or begging, when she dropped the original bomb I just sent a sad face... Then one text a week and a half later and just this reply.. So I'm not being weak and pathetic or crying and begging... It ain't my style. You all are going to get mad, but I do believe she still loves me... I think her addiction has just taken her over, until she deals with that she can't deal with me.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Thanks for your feedback guys yes the txt lingo is poor lol. I know it was a little patronising that's why I felt the urge to say well actually take off your rosé coloured lenses, reality is you hurt me real bad. Feels as though she wants the easy way out hence why I wrote the real feelings involved, tbh I am not a game player and sometimes NC seems to much game playing and trying to be something I'm not. Don't get me wrong I'm not needy or begging, when she dropped the original bomb I just sent a sad face... Then one text a week and a half later and just this reply.. So I'm not being weak and pathetic or crying and begging... It ain't my style. You all are going to get mad, but I do believe she still loves me... I think her addiction has just taken her over, until she deals with that she can't deal with me. NC is not gameplaying at all. It's for you and for you only, to reset yourself and get your emotions under control. If you are approaching it as a game you are doing it wrong. 1
Author emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 I understand that, I used it as I had to. I had to get my emotions under check as I did not wish to expose my soul to someone who hurt me. So it did its role. Now I am stronger and know I can say what I want without regretting it, I have done that. My understanding of NC is for that exact reason, to heal you.. In the two weeks I have detached so I feel quite comfortable in my txt hence why I did so. Like I said, I just want her back... So I think it's important she knows how she made me feel and how I feel about her regardless of what she did, if she doesn't wish to come back, it's her choice but at least now she knows how I feel.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I understand that, I used it as I had to. I had to get my emotions under check as I did not wish to expose my soul to someone who hurt me. So it did its role. Now I am stronger and know I can say what I want without regretting it, I have done that. My understanding of NC is for that exact reason, to heal you.. In the two weeks I have detached so I feel quite comfortable in my txt hence why I did so. Like I said, I just want her back... So I think it's important she knows how she made me feel and how I feel about her regardless of what she did, if she doesn't wish to come back, it's her choice but at least now she knows how I feel. You aren't close to being healed if you are sending texts like that.
JDPT Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I never got to tell her how it was, so part of my closure on this is by letting her know whatsup ! So there I did it... I know I broke NC but I feel that had to be said as part of my healing and so she didn't get the easy ride, she needs to know how I feel so she can feel bad. There is always consequences... Why should she not face any? You just poured your heart out to her, what ramifications are you referring to? It doesn't matter what is said or not said anymore, or what she thinks or doesn't think, next time don't reply. Oh she will continue to harass you with her ridiculous texts, post here if you feel the urge to reply, don't post after the fact.
JDPT Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I understand that, I used it as I had to. I had to get my emotions under check as I did not wish to expose my soul to someone who hurt me. So it did its role. Now I am stronger and know I can say what I want without regretting it, I have done that. My understanding of NC is for that exact reason, to heal you.. In the two weeks I have detached so I feel quite comfortable in my txt hence why I did so. Like I said, I just want her back... So I think it's important she knows how she made me feel and how I feel about her regardless of what she did, if she doesn't wish to come back, it's her choice but at least now she knows how I feel. You are diluting yourself, two weeks is nothing, read your post you still want her back you are still replying in other word you are not on your way to recovery as yet. Dust yourself off and get back on that saddle we all break NC at some point but you would agree that she is simply using you as a crutch and will like your support as she forgets about you.
Author emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 Ok so you think I shouldn't want to be with her? Cause I can't change that feeling? So what now?
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Ok so you think I shouldn't want to be with her? Cause I can't change that feeling? So what now? Even if you want to be with her, you are in no position to be able to make that happen. So you go NC to work on yourself. And then when you have reset your emotions and you are cool with whatever the result might me if you resume contact, then maybe you could contact her. But you might discover that your feelings for her will change on their own if you allow yourself to step back. 1
Author emisthename Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 Thanks, that makes sense. I guess I haven't wanted to step away 100% as I fear losing her, it's going to be the hardest thing ill ever do but ok if you say step away I will. It's bizarre just how bad she has made me feel, about myself and about how stupid I was to go all in and give up everything for her. It's so annoying as I was just moving on and really making progress then I read that one txt she sent at 2am and ball my eyes out. I am too nice for my own good, my mate says "f her, laugh at her and ignore her" but my heart just melts and I be firm but Always make the mistake of telling her what she needs to hear... I am pathetic!
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Thanks, that makes sense. I guess I haven't wanted to step away 100% as I fear losing her, it's going to be the hardest thing ill ever do but ok if you say step away I will. It's bizarre just how bad she has made me feel, about myself and about how stupid I was to go all in and give up everything for her. It's so annoying as I was just moving on and really making progress then I read that one txt she sent at 2am and ball my eyes out. I am too nice for my own good, my mate says "f her, laugh at her and ignore her" but my heart just melts and I be firm but Always make the mistake of telling her what she needs to hear... I am pathetic! You already lost her. She broke up with you. As for the text, it's over. You can't take it back right now, so take it as a learning experience and move forward. 2
JDPT Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Trying... Just feel lost And that's perfectly fine, you will have many days ahead of ups and downs, you will feel as if you are in this emotional rollercoaster with no way of getting off, however, if do the grunt work you eventually will. Make this work in your favor, take this time to heal and improve yourself, you will come out of this a new and improved you.
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