Seth8380 Posted November 4, 2004 Posted November 4, 2004 Sorry this is a slightly long post, but I really could use some help...you can skip down to the dotted line and probably still help me out. Hi guys I'm new to the forum. I've been seeking advice for a while now and I hope I might get some help here. I'm 18 and in college studying to be an Art major. Up untill about a week ago I've been bf/gf with my girlfriend, Dani, for roughly 3 skip down through it kind of and still proabably give some advice. If you want just go to the dotted line and start there. years and 2 months. We met freshman year of highschool and got things off to a pretty good start. I had never been with another girl before her and she was sort of the one going after me than I after her in the beginning. Anyway, we became very close for about a year...and then she began having feelings for this aweful guy that got her into a lot of bad things. I eventually gave up on the relationship and broke it off. Sure enough after a while she came crying back but by then i was kind of dating someone (became a rebound) and after a couple weeks ended up forgiving her and going back. It was great for a while, and then things started to slow down. We seem to have grown apart (dont really have anything we similarly like except maybe movies??) and I didn't feel like the work i was putting into the relationship was being reciprocated very much back. One bad thing i didn't do was ever tell her what was bothering me. I just ignored things and hoped they'd get better. Well i put up with that for months...up until last week. I broke up with her -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dani's very close with God and she's quite talented in many areas. Physical attraction isn't really there anymore, but i think that comes more if you really love the person. We stopped having conversation except typical "hi. how's it going? did you remember to bring my stuff..etc" I didn't feel that comfortable in the relationship overall. We dont have any common ground and she doesn't take my sense of humor very well. (i'm sarcastic a lot and sometimes border line ass hole but i dont really mean it..just joking) Now i've been friends with a girl in my art class and after i broke up with Dani...i kind of felt like this other girl, "Kimberly" seemed like a great match. We crack each other up laughing all the time, we're both driven by art, we're both christian, both laid back, i can be myself more around her, she's cute, we seem to have a lot of similar interests, but different ones as well. From what i can tell she's a "good girl" so to speak. Doesn't party, doesn't smoke/drink, i've been told she hasn't slept with people (neither have I) Dani doesn't do any of that either. ...etc etc etc. I almost asked her out, but then i started to get pulled really bad towards going back to my now x. I had talked with some friends that basically said I could have a great relationship with her if I just be open and take charge. Tell her when she hurts me how I feel about it. Etc etc etc. There's a lot more to all of this, but i'm going to leave it there. So noww...i'm torn. I dont know which way to go. It's kind of like an election. One side we've got this president that's runnning for re-election. You've been living under them for 4 years and they've done good at some things, but not great. Then you have the other one running. They seem great and sound like they've got a good plan...but you've never ACTUALLY experienced it so they could be great...or bad. WHAT DO I DO??? I'm praying and burying myself in God's word right now. I just feel like some advice might help. Thanks for any help! -Seth
Merin Posted November 4, 2004 Posted November 4, 2004 Seth, Change is hard.. the unknown is scary.. but you know staying somewhere or with someone out of "comfort" sometimes isn't the solution to what is going to bring you happiness. You and Dani had been together for quite sometime.. and as you've said, the two of you have grown apart rather than together.. that isn't unusual especially when the relationship began at such a young age.. people change and grow, and thats okay. It seems that you've both put what you could into making things work in the relationship several times.. and while it may not always be the case.. in your situation I think it is.. that there isn't a lot more you can do here.. this relationship has become an ongoing struggle... You've met someone that makes you feel good about yourself and you have an interest in getting to know.. you are single Seth.. and while Kimberly doesn't have to be "Miss Right" I don't see anything wrong with dating her. Regardless of what other people tell you regarding you and Dani.. I really believe if you re read your post Seth, you will see the hand writing on the wall here.. perhaps it's time to let go of what was.. and look forward to what is. Best Wishes
Author Seth8380 Posted November 5, 2004 Author Posted November 5, 2004 Thanks for the fast reply. I think what you said is true. It's...just really hard, but I think I know what I need to do. If anyone else wants to give me advice on what they believe, I'd still really appreciate it! Thanks -Seth
Author Seth8380 Posted November 5, 2004 Author Posted November 5, 2004 sorry about the big typo in the beginning of the first paragraph..i just now noticed it...seems like one of my senteces copy/pasted itself in there..
Author Seth8380 Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 Wow I just googled myself and found this. Damn I've changed a lot. Hard to believe I was such a whiny push over back then lol.. So how do I delete this crap? I guess I can't can I. Bleh.
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