TeddyBear1234 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Hi Everyone, First time posting. I need some help/advice. Some background information: I am male, 24 and in college. I'm not entirely sure what to include here. My girlfriend and I started dating two and half years ago. We both have graduated separate universities and went back to college. Things were going fine and normal until just a few months ago, when there seemed to be a bit of distance. That distance hasn't gotten any better over the past three or so months. Last week and after a two-part discussion, my girlfriend told me that she wanted a break. She said that she just wanted to be alone and by herself, as she has been through some fairly major changes in her life in the past few months on top of everything. She wants to sort things out. I get and understand that. However, the way she told me that wanted a break made it sound more long term than just a break. What she wants to accomplish in the break is not something that can be done in a week, month or even 6 months. She told me not to wait for her. I still love her, and I think that she still loves me. I get the feeling she wanted a break so that it wouldn't seem unfair to me in someway. I understand that she wants a break; and I haven't been Mr. Perfect over the past few months either. We haven't spoken in a week, and I am having a very hard time dealing with all this. I want to give her the break she requested, but I also want to work things out. She clearly wants some time to herself, and I don't want to disrupt that. I want to respect that as much as possible. We have never had a break before. So I guess my questions are: Can people work things out after a break? If so, how long was the break? What sort of circumstances lead to the break? Who spoke first, and what about? How did you know when to end the break? Any advice would be appreciated and help me get through this.
Axee Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I understand you are feeling worried and anxious... But right now you need to be strong and go nc... she probably needs her space so give it to her... Just send her a loving text that you are ok with break and respect her decision..thats it.. then its nc... until she contacts u again.. This is her way of breaking up gently...especially when she has asked you not to wait..
Author TeddyBear1234 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 Thank you for responding, Axee. I'm still not sure what to think. She did leave a door open to some point in the future. I want to let her be and not contact her until she is ready to talk to me, but unfortunately, I will have to contact her in the next few days over something as a heads up. I don't want it to be a painful surprise/reminder showing up. I feel I should give her at least a heads up so she can be prepared for it. I want to do so as gently as possible so she doesn't feel obligated to have a conversation with me until she is ready. I also think that she has a powerful fear of commitment. I think that she feels if she commits to me in some way, she might end up dependent or regretting it later on in life. I think that fear may be driving her actions, in addition to everything. I have no way of proving or verifying that statement, but it is something my gut tells me. Does anyone else have other thoughts/or opinions on this? How did other people get through this time and what were there experiences with breaks?
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