okliedoklie Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) So I have been dating my girlfriend for 10 years, highschool sweethearts.... she stayed in town after graduating college and got a job living rent cheap and my parents rent house. I received a text message by mistake and uncovered very reluctantly that she was talking to this guy that was my friend and sent him dirty pictures, IM in shock this girl was the one i was going to spend my life with we spent tons of time together and nothing was going wrong everything was great. I just had a bday and she was so loving we have plans of getting married after i graduate next year, we just got back from vacation another little trip planned out, her parents like me and my parents really liked her. I do not know what to do, I asked her why that night and she just wouldnt really talk to me she begged me to not breakup but i just left, Do i quit talking to her i just want answers? should i have my parents kick her out of the house she is staying in living very rent cheap with no roomates? Would it be wrong of me to text her parents and tell them what she did to me and why she has to leave, right now they support her and pay for her rent this part seems kind of revengeful but i loved her family and they were so nice to me The trust is clearly been broken I feel that to mend it she would have to cut off all contact with anyone which would not be healthy in itself even if she is willing to do it to make things better i know she will try to get me back somehow Edited August 11, 2013 by okliedoklie
Mcscooter Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 This is my opinion. I would think twice before you agree with me though. I would honestly leave her, kick her out. I have an urge, if you F*ck me, i'll come back and F*ck you harder. That's my motto. It makes me mad when I read this. she was with you for 10 years and she does this, after all you done for her? She had it all, but she decides to screw it up. Especially with your friend. What kind of friend is that. You or someone should teach him a lesson or two. Get all her stuff put it in a box. Go NC, tell her parents what she did, no need to tell everyone. No one likes drama. Sometimes you got to be harsh. We don't live in a peaceful world. You have better things in life to do, than waste it with someone like that. I may sound like a raging A-hole, but i'm going to be honest. Remember this is my opinion. Don't listen to your heart, but your brain. It's for the better and you know it.
Omei Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) If she had gone and slept with your friend I would be agreeing with the post above but I assume she hasn't yet. 10 years is a lot time to be together, and yeah that would hurt so bad hopefully shes's sorry what you need to find out, is she sorry she got caught? Or is there more to it. One of the things that has comes to my mind is highschool sweethearts thats a long time did she date much before that? She might be wondering what its like to be with another man or having his attention. Talk to her find out what her feelings are if you love her and shes truely sorry SHE has to gain your trust back and she needs to know it will take a long time and be ready for your insecurness without complaint. As for your friend he's not very cool is he? I know its both their faults but if you guys end up breaking up in the end and you get a new gf one day how could you ever trust your friend, being unhappy in relationships and making poor choices is one thing but having a friend do something like that I have no words. Goodluck Edited August 11, 2013 by Omei
Angry bird Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Sending nudes to your friend? That is SO low. Yeah, she needs to be removed from the premises like yesterday. And I wouldn't say s$&t to your X-friend. He is a dirty bird too. Move on from this tramp.
blindhope Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 I was in a similar situation so maybe I have some insight, but could be way off. Quick backround: I was in a 8yr relationship with a girl She had just graduted HS and I was in college. We had a very loving 8 yrs with little to no fighting. Same situation with the families I was very close with hers and she with mine. However I was living rent cheap at a place her father owned. Then I found out she was emotionally cheating for lack of a better term, soon after physically, with a patient of her a couple months after grad school.(Shes a therapist). I only give the back story cause there is some parallels. So my advice would be to distance yourself from her. Since you were together so young finding some time and space will let you and her realize what you both want. Not saying you won't find your way back together but this seems like a completely logical and good opportunity to get to grow individually and see what else you can experience. You'll be suprised what you'll learn about yourself and her. What her true feelings are and intentions. But that can't be found in days or weeks. You really need to become indendant. I know for me we had become way to co-dependant. Everything we did together, and we lost our individuality. So we needed it. We found out we were better off apart, but plenty of relationships find their way back. But do give it time. Let clearer heads prevail and the emotions of the break up heal for both sides, make sure you're both ready to move on whether together or apart. Especially from your point of view, make sure she wants back not because she's heartbroken, scared, etc. But because she knows what she wants this time. And you can trust that she won't "wander". Every situation is unique and every one is different but I hope something in there helps. 2
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