heggs Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 So 3 moths ago we broke up after 2 years together, I went NC , was nc for 3 months. Over those months I had been going to the gym everyday, went from 55 kgs all the way to 75kgs, all muscle no body fat. I saw her in court due to a DVO as it was temporary. That day I was on fb and noticed she had msged me. I haven't read it I just archived it? What's with her contacting me after 3 months an looking really good ?
StandardToaster895 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 She sees you're different, and wants a slice of that And maybe she also just misses your emotional presence in her life, seeing you reminded her of what she's lost. I wouldn't suggest necessarily responding to the message, but I would certainly read it (if only for science!) and then tell us what it says.
thora-tiki Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Come on, heggs, you know the answer. You have piqued her interest that's for sure. No contact really works. A miracle of reverse psychology. She saw you, and you looked so fine, so goooooood, (Mmmmh, is it hot in here...?) so not bothered, so over it - and she wants you BAD! No contact means no contact. I would ignore the Facebook message myself and not reply. Here is why, what do you think has changed in you relationship with your ex-hole since you broke up? 3 months of no contact is great, but still it is such a short time I would suggest NOTHING at all has changed. If you want the same old failed relationship you had, then go ahead and contact her. Nothing has changed, and you will be back in the same old failed relationship - and we all know how that ended, right. If you want to change your own life and the relationship (which was not working) then I would keep no contact. Just my thought and my opinion. You played it cool and she can't stand it. It seems to me that you were tested and passed with flying colours because you stuck to no contact.
Author heggs Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 Thank! Well I have no feeling to even contact her, if I did it would only tell her where to Go that's about it, but I have no time for it. Just kinda strange I improve and she wants to more then likely come running back. I know she hasn't changed, she looks the same acts the same etc, just after a fair stint.. I find it unfair and feel pissed of
BC1980 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I think you are right not to write back. It's just a psychological thing of wanting what she can't have anymore. Once she got you, she might loose interest. What I'm saying is it may just be her boredom or feeling lonely.
Author heggs Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 Well.. Today I wake up with my mum calling me saying that my ex msged her saying that I STOLe her shoes and clothes last night ? Sounds like she wants attention... Or am I wrong
StandardToaster895 Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Well did you? Jk, yes, it sounds like she's desperate. Maybe threaten a restraining order.
thora-tiki Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Ms. Shoe gal is looking for attention. It seems like she is trying to see if you are serious about no contact... why else would she do this? My opinion is that she's pi**ed because you took off the leash. You're not her little doggy any more. Great job in ignoring her attempts to make you break no contact, heggs! Don't give her lame message too much importance. She is not trying to fix things between you. She is just being selfish and lonely, and she is not ready to deal with this on her own. You do not need to sit another minute through her one-man show called: heggs ex is the most wonderful, amazing, lovely, dateable girl in the Universe! Keep no contact. You will heal and feel better and think more clearer when you have had some time apart from Ms. Shoe gal. If you think it is because she is missing you: I read this somewhere: «Someone can miss you but not actually want to get back together. They may think you’re great, claim to be crazy about you, or miss the things that ensured they got their needs met, but they don’t miss you that much. They like their life and even if you don’t ‘get’ it or think it’s ‘wrong’, their situation ‘works’ for them. Someone can miss you but have enough awareness about their own capabilities to know that nothing would actually change if you were to get back together. Someone can miss you because they get to a void dealing with someone or something much closer to home that requires their attention. Dodging being emotionally available and of course being uncommitted through their actions. Someone can miss you but it may not be for the reasons that you think. It may be for an ego stroke, shag, shoulder to lean on, money or whatever floats their boat. The point is that there is a disparity between your idea of what they miss you for and what they actually miss you for. People who say they miss you, but don’t back up the sentiment with real action are talking hot air and being non-committal. In particular, if this is how they were in the relationship, this ‘I miss you’ BS is just an extension of the all talk and little and no action issue. The mistake that we often make is assuming that they miss us or that they want to get back together because: 1) They’ve got in touch 2) They’re looking for a shag 3) They’re moaning about their ex 4) They’re looking for an ego stroke 5) They’re poking around in our business 6) They’re not wanting us to move on because they like having us as an option and backup plan 7) They’re asking dumb hypothetical questions about what we would do if they were able to be available (only to swiftly follow it up about how they can’t do anything at the moment but ‘might’ in the future) Ultimately, what this head wrecking boils down to is this: If someone misses you that much, they will handle their situation to enable them to be with you. Period. Anything else is talking doo doo.»
Author heggs Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 (edited) Funny that my friend, She has contacted my mum saying can he leave me alone, and I stole shoes and her clothes and that's its unfair that I'm moving on and Doing well etc I've been hanging out with a chick mate I know, not sexual just mates and hang out, I was there last night she added my friend on fb and started talking to her saying that she shouldn't date me.. We ain't even dating , trying to help her dodge a bullet and that I'm notorious, my ex also sent pics of our conversation we had, pictures and letters. She also said that I give her a headache talking and thinking about me. And that she found another guys and asked him if she could stay over or some crap haha. Any ideas what the heck she's doing this for Edited August 13, 2013 by heggs
BC1980 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 She is trying to get to you indirectly. If she didn't care, she wouldn't even be putting energy into talking about you to other people. It's just a funny thing of human psychology. Now that you don't care, she has lost the power and has become more interested. I don't know. It just seems to work that way. But she is really getting desperate and pathetic with the way she is going about it. Texting your mom is over the top.
Author heggs Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 (edited) I find it sad... Haven't bothered to make anyone contact her in ages my mate said I was doing well that's about it... I find it weird at the end of the conversation that she's found someone else and that she's staying there.. Not that I care She seems to think I'm dating her and that the chick likes me and told her that she didn't wanna get in the way haha But to contact my chick friend and showing her pics and talking about me is childish . Edited August 13, 2013 by heggs
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