Scrab22 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Hello, I'm a young man, 18.5 years old. Just finished High-School (beginning of July). I've been thinking about my preferences for a partner. One of my thoughts I can't get through is age. I don't know how much this matters in my age, but I have an expectation for a slightly younger woman, from my age to 3 years younger. One day, I was at a casual party and met some new people. One of them was a woman, just talked a little bit, until I realized she's a year above me (finished High-School a year before me). That was when I thought "No, I want a younger woman". I've tried reading over the internet about the case, but I can't find a suitable answer for me. Some sites tell that having an older woman is something more common today, and that it's perfectly fine having one. But I can't internalize this point of view. For some reason, I have this "inner alpha male" which says I have to marry someone younger... So my question is... don't know if it's really a question... On one hand, they are more mature and have more experience. On the other hand, I somewhat feel like I need to be older... I don't know. Thanks for the help!
MomsSpaghetti Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 It depends on whether she has an attitude about being older. I knew a woman who was 24, dating a guy who was 20, and she liked to play the "I'm older, more mature, more independent, have more life experience" card to treat him as a subordinate.
gaius Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 You seem used to accepting that older women are automatically authority figures over you. The truth is you can be the alpha with a woman of any age, just because she's older doesn't mean she's the one in charge. Especially with an age gap that small. Just treat her like you would a younger woman and see what happens. 2
Author Scrab22 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 I really don't like the games of being more mature, and it's not something I'd do myself. The point is the number is what disturbs me. I know, in some cases a younger person can be more mature than an older person, but that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is the number. I invalidate any woman who is older than me because of the numerical age. Whether being mature or not is not what bothers me, but my problem with the numerical age decisions.
Author Scrab22 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 This is not really the point.. I don't expect marriage yet I don't expect NO marriage either. And as for dating who you want - I may be young in biological age, but that doesn't mean I can't have any standards or expectations. And as everyone said here, age doesn't necessarily show the maturity level of a person. The problem I have is with the number. I feel like it's something psychological, but I can't analyze it well..
veggirl Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 19 is an "older woman" to an 18 yr old? lol wow. Its the same age. regardless if you like girls who are a year younger or whatever instead then....I guess just be sure to ask ages asap. 1
Miss_raptor Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 The fact that you're saying 18.5 instead of 18 is interesting. I thought most people stopped saying that when they turn ten. The number thing....ehhhh. At least you admit the fact that it bothers you has very little to do with the other person, but more about you. I think it's because you just finished high school and probably haven't been exposed to the "real world" just yet. In high school (at least for me), it was all about fitting in and not going against the grain. Give it a few years. You may make peace with all that number crunching. If not, there are always women younger than you.
Author Scrab22 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) Haha, that's because I'm really into an age of the person. I'm the kind of person who is very sensitive to details, so that's why I'm saying I'm 18.5 You know, while I was just working on a puzzle (literally a puzzle), I thought for a moment. I find myself at times attracted to some older women on TV. Of course it's towards pretty women, but not some smoking-hot queen models. EDIT: I also need to mention - I find unstable teens unattractive. I am looking for a mature person, as stable as possible and someone who will share his feelings with me. Most teens are just into fun yet nothing intimate from my experience. But yes, I do need to explore the world some more.. /end-of-edit I need to find some consultation about the case around my area. Thanks for the help guys, but if anyone has something he'd like to say then feel free to say it. I'll still be looking! Edited August 11, 2013 by Scrab22
iris219 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 If you prefer to date younger women, do it, but I don't see how 19 is that different from 18. That's just ridiculous IMO. If I were you, I'd try to figure out where this obsession with age comes from. Do you feel insecure around older women and women your age? Do you feel like you have to do more to impress them? Are you afraid they will see you as immature and/or uninteresting?
Author Scrab22 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 It's not that I feel insecure. I'm not the kind of outgoing guy, but I have no fear. And I'm not afraid they will see me as immature and uninteresting. I feel grateful of myself, and I feel like a very mature person! (so self-esteem is not the problem) I just need to internalize the fact that the biological age doesn't really matter these days, especially when it's a small difference, like you guys said.
ScreamingTrees Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Kind of a silly thing to hold too much stock in. I mean, if she's a year older, it's not a big deal.. If she's like 5+ years older, it may be more of a difference, but hey, even young women in their late twenties/early thirties sometimes go for 40 year old men who look younger than they are.. As long as she's within 3-5 years or so of my own age, I don't care if she's older or younger if we connect. If not, I'm still turned off, regardless of her actual age in relation to mine.
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