Heartbroken87 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 (edited) Right where do i start! Me and my bf have been together for a year n broke up yesterday and im so heartbroken, but i think it was for the best as for the last 2 months hes been acting differently talking to me like crap and getting angry wiv me over silly little things. We have only ever met on his terms like have set days we see other n if i ask to c him a differant day theres no compromise! Also weve only ever been out 2 times in the whole year! The rest of the time we jus sat in his flat! For the past 3 weeks wen i phoned him he answers n after 5 mins says he got to get of the fone cos hes busy, when before we use to talk on the phone for hours! And i finally gave up last monday when i was at his someone knocked on the door n he wudnt answer n told me to be quiet i asked who it was n he sed baliffs! But as soon as the knocking stopped he was texting straight away on his fone and hiding his fone! And then asked if i was ready to go home n quickly took me home! Which i find all abit dodgy! So i asked him tuesday if he was seeing someone else and he went off mad on the fone to me sayin hes not and basically sed believe him or leave him! So i thought maybe i was jus being paranoid but tuesday nite he went out for a drink with his friends which he never does n then he sed weds nite he was taking his 4 year old son to the cinema so cudnt c me weds nite n wen he finally txt me it was gone 11pm which im sure u wudnt out that late with a 4 year old! So anyway i went round thurs to c him n he got a fone call n went in his room to talk on the fone so anyway i asked him again was he seeing sum1 else behind my back n he denied it all calling me paranoid etc then lied on his bed n pretended to be asleep so i left. Fri came n i rang him n sed i needed to speak to him in person about our relationship he asked wat about it i sed u will find out wen i see u. Which by then i decided i was goin to finish with him. But after about an hour he text me sayin to tell u the truth i dont think its working with me and u cos ur getting fed up and im gettin pissed off so i txt bk and sed ok i think the same drop my things off n with-in 45 mins he had my stuff n just wound down his car window n gave me my stuff without a word n drove off! He still has a bracelet of mine which i asked him to make sure he brings it but he sed he forgot n will drop it off later i wouldnt be too fussed about a bracelet but this one is sentimental to me as it was my late nannas. I txt him and asked him to bring it n he sed he will drop it later which he still hasnt! But anyway im sitting here a day after the breakup and i cant stop crying i really want to txt him but im stopping myself i miss him so much even tho he treated me like crap the past month. I just keep thinking of the good times together n just want that back. I want my man back the old him before he turned horrible. I feel like ive lost my bestfriend im so gutted will i ever feel notmal again :-( xxx Edited August 11, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Add paragraphs
JDPT Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Sounds like a part-time relationship just like mine used to be and it lasted 5 years all under her terms, go figure. In any event, this guy clearly has tons of baggage everywhere as you stated it was for the best that you two broke up, you clearly deserve more than a part-time relationship. Move forward with yourself and focus on all the things that come ahead. You are now a free agent.
dgiirl Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling. Like JDPT said, it sounds like your relationship was definitely one sided. I just ended a 6 year relationship that ended pretty similar to yours in terms of when and where I get to see my boyfriend. It drove me crazy for the last 6 months, getting worse and worse. At least when we broke up, he gave me closure by admitting that he was withdrawing, which is exactly what your ex was doing too, and that I did everything I possibly could and I fought really hard for us. Sometimes, people don't know how to handle relationships. They are not 100% ready to end it but they are no longer happy and there really is no way to save it, so they subconsciously create fights so they can exit the relationship with no guilt. I would leave your ex alone and implement no contact asap. Try to stay busy and do things with your family and friends. Go out and socialize with a group of friends. Try and focus as much as possible on you, and start to boost your confidence again! When you do break down and focus on him, write down in a journal all the good AND bad things about him. Take the rosé tinted glasses off and look at what your relationship was versus what you though or wanted it to be. At the end of the day, You deserve someone who wants to be with you. Who won't play games or need their space to the point of neglecting your needs. Use this breakup to learn what you really want in your next partner. Write down all the traits you want for "the one" and then ask the universe to bring him to you when you are ready. And then get back to working on you! Stay strong! 1
LME Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I'm sorry . The first few weeks are always the hardest. I can relate, my ex was very busy and i felt like most of the time we spent together we were just lounging on his couch, dont get me wrong i like to relax, but i feel like that was about 90% of our relationship and i got really bored and started to get irritated at him. You want someone who will spend quality time with you and go out and do things with you
LostInTheWild Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 No one has said this yet -- he was probably trying to get back with his baby's momma...And probably was with her at some point while he was with you. The problem is she probably didn't know about you (hence: "And i finally gave up last monday when i was at his someone knocked on the door n he wudnt answer n told me to be quiet i asked who it was n he sed baliffs! But as soon as the knocking stopped he was texting straight away on his fone and hiding his fone!") You made the right choice. Don't go back to that drama. Just know that unless he's some sort of drug dealer, he was probably seeing some chick and thought she was more important than you.
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